Congratulations Mike Bacsik!

You've just become immortalized as the answer to a Trivial Pursuit question that I'll never get correct.

Barry Bonds has hit his record breaking 756th home run and now stands atop the record books. I think he was cheating... I bet that bat was corked. I couldn't find a video of it on YouTube so here is a link to the Evil Empire if you want to see the monstrous swing.

As we all expected Bud Selig was not around to celebrate the achievement. Whether or not the man was on steroids I think the Commish should have been there to acknowledge the moment in time. This innocent until proven guilty thing should stand in sports as well as courts. I've seen his stats, hat size and rookie card and yes it all looks bad but people need to be given the benefit of the doubt.

Plus A-Rod is going to kill that record in a few years unless he gets caught with another boo-a-licious stripper and his wife kills him. Even if A-Rod doesn't it will be Ryan Howard, Prince Fielder or someone else who came out of the minors at an early age and began swinging for the fences immediately.
At least ESPN won't have to cut into another exciting installment of "Who's Now" every time Bonds comes to the plate.

The Jimmy Kimmel show hates Matt Damon

After years of bumping Damon from his show Kimmel has taken it one step further. Kimmel has replaced Damon with his parking lot attendant in the recently released BOURNE ULTIMATUM. Funny stuff. Check here to see how this feud started and here for more with Guillermo involved.

Regina Spektor - That Time

This is Regina Spektor. She's super awesome and this song just made the all-time rotation for being wacky and up tempo. She didn't make this video, but she makes equally awesome videos and speaks fluent Russian. I used to live by some Russians... one of them stole my bike and the other owns the first set of boobs I ever saw. They were awesome too.

(Video by Pizzicotta)

In Theaters Tomorrow…

There are a seven movies coming out this week (Aug. 3rd) and one is only in New York and L.A.)But I only really want to talk about 3 of them. They are making a BRATZ movie… that will be the only mention of the film and the doll franchise that is turning America’s youth into 12 year-old whores. J-Lo and her husband made a film about some dude who made salsa popular in the U.S. called EL CANTANTE. That will be the last time I mention a biopic made about a dude I don’t know by a chick who is full of herself. UNDERDOG is voiced by Jason Lee and I remember watching the show at my grandma’s when I was little but citing the atrocities that were FAT ALBERT and INSPECTOR GADGET I will not be going into detail. Anne Hathaway stars in BECOMING JANE, about Jane Austin, and I’ve read good reviews but I won’t be seeing this unless forced to by a lovely lady. Odds are I won’t be seeing this.

THE TEN is only being released in New York and Los Angeles but it’s a shame that this film gets two cities while those other briefly mentioned films get to fill up theaters across the country. It is this type of decision that makes me cringe and wonder how studio executives ever got to where they are. The film was written and directed by David Wain from “Stella” and “The State”, Wain also wrote WET HOT AMERICAN SUMMER. The film has ten loosely connected stories about each of the 10 commandments. Paul Rudd plays the morally lenient narrator who is the connection between the vignettes. Starring in the film is SPK favorite Jessica Alba, Famke Janssen (X-MEN), Rob Corddry (Daily Show), Adam Brody (O.C.), Kerri Kenney (Reno 911), Winona Rider and Oliver Platt. This is a film that takes chances (vignettes), pokes fun at religion and its got that certain kind of humor that’s hard to find.

SNL flavor of the week Andy Samberg is hitting the big screen for the first time with HOT ROD. For those you who have not watched the show in a while Samberg is the dude spending most of his time spoofing music (Dick in a Box and Lazy Sunday) and making SNL digital shorts. The film is about a loser who decides to impress his stepfather and save his life by becoming a stunt man and jumping 15 busses. This film looks stupid, but in a BILLY MADISON kind of way. From what I’ve read Jorma Taccone is a scene-stealer. Others in the film include Ian McShane (Swearengger in “Deadwood”) as the stepfather, Will Arnett, Chris Parnell and Isla Fisher from WEDDING CRASHERS as Samberg’s love interest. Here is a pretty funny interview from the cast.

Matt Damon is back as Jason Bourne in what is supposed to be the third and final film THE BOURN ULTAMATUM. Now that Bourne is aware of who he is and how he is connected to the American government he is tying up loose ends left behind by the “Treadstone Project.” Bourne is finally taking the fight to the U.S. and the film is gonna be CrazyGoNutz. I love the use of handheld cameras to give it that shaky, in the action feel and the super fast editing that we’ve become accustomed to. On top of all of this I feel like the action has been ramped up for the latest film. Joan Allen, Julia Stiles and Tom Gallop are back and Albert Finney and Edgar Ramirez who plays Bourne’s nemesis will join the cast. I got a nickel says Nicky and Bourne hook up. This is the film to see this week.

Box Office: #1 THE BOURNE ULTAMATUM #2 THE SIMPSONS MOVIE #3 HOT ROD #4 CHUCK AND LARRY #5 HARRY POTTER

Terry Ryan was Right!... The Solution WAS from Within

Little did we know...


We all thought Terry Ryan was nuttier than squirrel turds. We thought that the Twins needed to make a deal before the deadline to try and win the division. All we had to do was look in our own backyard. All we had to do was go to 600 First Avenue. The Secret Weapon? The Ticket...

It only took a moment for the Boston Red Sox to capitalize on Minnesota's mistake. Funny, this sounds like an all too familiar story. Oh yeah, that Papi guy. Yeah, he turned out to be ok. The Boston Globe is reporting today that Kevin Garnett will take over Julian Taveras' rotation spot and become the Red Sox' fifth starter. If the Red Sox didn't have the best rotation in major league baseball before this, its a no-doubter now. Coupled with Josh Beckett, Daisuke Matsuzaka, Curt Shilling, and feel good story Jon Lester, the Red Sox rotation now sports the fire power to win in October. Nomah Yastrzemski, a Red Sox fan since birth, had this to say after word of the news had spread, "Ya kno, now with the Gaarnett in the rotation, I don't think the Sox will give up another run all yeeh, not even to Steinbrennah and the damn Evil Empirah." While Garnett has never actually pitched before, he has watched many games on TV and a recent radar gun clocked him at 96. He hopes to get one minor league start at Pawtucket before joining the parent club for next week's series. He got his official welcoming at last night's game versus the Baltimore Orioles. Kevin threw out the first pitch in front of the sellout crowd. With the whole crowd waiting with baited breath, wondering if everything they have heard will be true, Kevin stepped up and threw the much-ballyhooed GyroBall for a resounding strike. Boston fans responded like they had seen the second coming of Christ walk through the turnstiles at Fenway Park.

Maybe if those in the Twins organization had reached out to Kevin the way the Red Sox have already done, he might have been "cool" staying here for some more rebuilding. We could have effectively killed two birds with one stone. We could have improved a very mediocre Twins rotation as well as giving Timberwolves' fans a reason to keep coming to Target Center. It also would have kept Johan Santana happy because apparently he's not down with rebuilding either. But alas, they couldn't see the talent that was right in front of their eyes.

Now, Kevin will have the opportunity to lead his two teams to the pinnacle of their respective sports, and I would obviously have to check with Tim Kurkjian, but I think it would be the first time that anyone has pitched in game 7 of the World Series and hoisted the Larry O'Brien Trophy on a Sunday in a non leap year with the Summer Olympics a year away. For the Red Sox, the Rich get richer. Getting Eric Gagne and KG in the same two day span, has to be a boon for Red Sox nation. For the Twins, its another missed opportunity to add to many others. I guess it's wait till next year after all. Thanks Terry. You're killing me smalls.

Fearless Fantasy Forecast: 7 Wins, 100 strikeouts, 15 walks, 2.64 ERA, 0.89 Whip

Read A Book

So I was flipping through the channels this morning and came across this on BET. I just about shat myself laughing and thought I should help spread the message. Read a Mutha F@^%ing Book!

I Want 10 Million to Not Play Basketball

Obviously T-Hud took my advice and accepted the buyout from the Timberwolves. He'll probably end up as a Celtic since they'll be needing a backup point guard and he a Garnett are good friends. I bet Danny Ainge won't offer Hudson 30 million dollars. I bet the Celtics get him for 1-2 million per season and I'm sure that will be fine considering he already has about 10 million bones in his back pocket and will be joining a newly made elite eastern division team.

He should not, however, take the second part of my advice. It seems that hip hop aficionados are not exactly feeling Undrafted. Even if Hudson can make a dollar off of each CD sold, which would be a deal only the Kevin McHale of the recording industry would make, he would still only pull in about 78 bucks a week. I guess that Carbondale won't become the new rap capitol of the world anytime soon. Below is an Excerpt from his Myspace page-

An avid music writer, Troy also has written over two thousand original songs in his music career. In 2004, Troy formed NuttyBoyz Entertainment Group, which has evolved into Troy E. Hudson Enterprises, with Troy at the helm as Chief Executive Officer. Featuring a full range of music labels and production capabilities, Hudson Records and NuttyBoyz Records began actively recording and publishing music in 2005 at his newly built Hudson Studios, a private set of state-of-the-art music studios located in North Minneapolis.

It also says that he is "an outstanding guard known for his quickness, Solid defense and accurate shooting" - that is not the back-up's back-up that I know. On the plus side you could win a $50,000 chain through the myspace page. Seeing as the album was suck a big seller in its first week I'm guessing you odds are way better trying to win the chain than they are with a scratch off worth the same.

Man is he lucky that he got this whole not playing basketball career to fall back on.