Castillo Leaves State, Bracey Leaves Country

Yes, every one knows that Kevin Garnett is no longer a member of the Minnesota Timberwolves, but he was not the only sports figure to get a little time in our posts to say goodbye...

The Twins also traded one of their better players in Luis Castillo away for 2 prospects. Those prospects are Drew Butera a catching prospect and son of former Twin Sal Butera and outfielder Dustin Martin. The catcher makes me wonder because it seems like the Twins have a ton of catching prospects that are going to sit behind the All-star caliber and hometown hero Joe Mauer. This organization had better turn right back around and trade a couple of prospects (like their AAA catcher) or Rincon or Silva or a combination for a bat that works properly. The problem is that they have about a half an hour to do this.

Castillo's bat worked properly... he had a .304 average. We've lost the fastest man with a limp in the MLB, the man who stated they year with about 12 straight infield hits, the man who regularly beat out bunts and the guy who seemed to be the only one getting on base a while back. As far as defense goes it sounds like we'll be bringing Brian Bruscher in as the everyday 3rd baseman, moving Punto to second and bringing Alexi Casilla back to the bigs as a speedster and utility infielder to groom as our everyday 2nd baseman. As much as I dislike losing a 3 time all-star and 3 time gold glover this seems logical for the future... I'm just still thinking about the present.

As for Bracey, he recently signed with a greek team called Aris TT Bank. I didn't manage to look up the stats on Bracey's summer league stint with Denver but I can't imagine that they invited him back. Too bad, I honestly think the guy has enough talent to be a solid six or seventh man and possibly even end up as a starter. Of course this isn't the end by any means and there are tons of players who went to Europe for a couple years to hone their game before hitting the Association again. If I can find time between work and looking for a new truck I'll ask him about his new team and his thoughts on the KG trade. I know I've said that before, but seing as he'll be leaving the country soon and he is the only person I semi-sort-of-know with any insider information on the Wolves and the NBA so I'll make sure to do it soon. Good luck Bracey.

Done Deal

Although when it first went up Gerald Green wasn't on the list, the deal is done and just how it was talked about yesterday afternoon. Have fun KG, we're going to miss you. I'm going to go get in line for tickets to the Wolves/Celtics game this season, see ya there.

A league source just confirmed that the Celtics and Timberwolves have finalized a deal that will bring Kevin Garnett to Boston in exchange for Al Jefferson, Ryan Gomes, Gerald Green, Sebastian Telfair, Theo Ratliff and two first round draft picks.

Garnett is expected to arrive in Boston this afternoon for a physical.
Garnett has agreed to a three-year extension with the Celtics beyond the two remaining on his contract, guaranteeing that he will be a Celtic for the next five years.

One reason for prolonged negotiations was the Celtics’ attempt to lessen the luxury tax hit this team will take next year, with Garnett, Paul Pierce and Ray Allen scheduled to earn a combined $54.4 million - the highest of any three-player combo in the NBA.

This will involve finding a way to lessen the impact of a 15 percent trade kicker in Garnett’s contract.

Link

The Love We Lost.....

Well, I hope you all appreciated it while it lasted. The only true face of the Minnesota Timberwolves since their inception in 1989 is probably busy packing his bags and saying his good-byes. It appears what ADAMBEZ and many others reported earlier today has come true, as Kevin Garnett is apparently heading east to the Boston Celtics. The deal isn't official but I'm going out on a limb and saying its done. The Timberwolves would receive Al Jefferson, Sebastion Telfair, Ryan Gomes, Gerald Green, Theo Ratliff, and two first round picks in return. Go figure it would be with the only team that McDouschbag seems to trade with, mainly because himself and Celtics GM Danny Ainge are buddies. As a Timberwolves die hard for many a year, I can't help but shed a tear at this news. Kevin Garnett is the reason the Wolves have any fans left, and with the exception of one year, the only reason fans came out to games on a frequent basis. Before I break down how great of a trade this is for us, I have no choice but to reflect on everything that Kevin Garnett is. I think he deserves that much.

Drafted in 1995 straight out of Farragut Academy in Chicago, Garnett came into the NBA as the first High Schooler since Moses Malone to be drafted. The decision was not a popular one with many people. Too young, too skinny, too raw. Whether he used that for motivation was not clear, but ever since then he has been everything that Wolves fans had hoped for and more. For 12 wonderful years, Minnesota got to experience not only one of the best players in the NBA but also one of its hardest working as well. It was a joy to watch this lanky 6'11" man exude such raw joy playing the game of basketball. Some people who play the game treat it more like a job than anything else. Kevin treated it like it was the game he grew up loving, and acted like he was truly happy to be getting paid to play. Now, some people might say that he was vastly overpaid, but if you stepped back and thought about what Kevin brought to the table, that point loses a lot of its luster. Not only was good for 22 and 12 almost every game of his career, but he also averaged around 5 assists for most of it as well. He may have not hit as many big shots as everyone would have liked, but he made his teammates better in every way. He never got himself in any trouble and treated the people of Minnesota with respect, always saying that he loved to play here. To me, he was worth every penny of the 20+ million a year he got from the club.


Sadly though, that 20+ million dollar salary, coupled with many horrendous other contracts, completely handicapped the team into mediocrity. Even though many of us did not want to see it end this way, something had to be done. The team had to part ways and start this Biotch over. It appears they have done so.

They couldn't have asked for much more. If all is true and they receive who they are said to be receiving, the trade is the first one in a long time that you can say that we actually came out on top. Sure we give up Garnett, but we get a budding "star" in Al Jefferson and lots of yummy cap room. The other actual players aren't that great, with the exception of Gerald Green, who could bring some excitement to the Target Center. I'm not sure that Sebastion Telfair will be with us, or anyone else, for very much longer. The part of this deal that makes it so appealing is those two first round picks that we acquire. Sure, one of them would be our pick that we owe the Celtics already, but it helps undue some of the mess McHorrible GM made down his leg a couple years ago.





If, for some reason, you happen to be optimistic for this upcoming year, let me be the first one to burst your bubble. This team will be very, very bad next year. And by bad, I'm talking 20-25 wins at most. I'm hoping for 15-18 actually, which would probably guarantee ourselves a top 3 pick, if not (GASP!) the first overall pick. This might be the only way we get to keep our pick that belongs to the Clippers. If you couple that fact with all the yummy cap room I mentioned earlier, this could be a shorter rebuilding process then usually is the case. Taking a quick look at the notable free agents for next years class, names like Elton Brand, Dwight Howard, Ben Gordon, Shawn Marion, and Agent Zero quickly jump off the page. Those are some of the names that could make this pill a lot easier to swallow.

As the Kevin Garnett era nears its end, I want to be one of hopefully many to look back at his time here, not with disdain, but with fondness. I know that we didn't get to where most fans wanted to get, but we truly saw one of the good ones play for 12 years. He did his best to take Wolves fans to the promised land. It wasn't his fault that a couple idiots were driving the bus. I'm gonna keep cheering for Kevin in Bean Town, and I hope that he can finally find his way to more success. He deserves it as much as any player in the NBA. Maybe the people in Boston will embrace him the way Wolves fans have.



Good Luck, Ticket.





On a lighter note, I am currently watching the Twins-Royals game,(and no, I don't know why) and Dick Bremer just uttered the words "Lew Ford absolutely owns Jimmy Gobble."(Royals relief pitcher) Man, has it really gotten this bad?? If they are clinging to statements that absurd, then the answer just may be yes.

Adrian Peterson Has More Money Than Me

The former Sooner running back and the Minnesota Vikings have agreed to terms on 6 year contract that could pay up to 40 million and guarantees 17 million. He managed to miss five practices in three days, but seeing as the Vikings have one of the more grueling camps and there are still a few concerns about Peterson’s collarbone I think everything will be just fine. Plus the world already knows that the purple people eaters won’t have a playoff bound team anyway.

The rookie running back and Chester Taylor should alleviate some pressure from Tarvaris Jackson’s first full year as our quarterback. I’d like to think of this upcoming season as one year-long lesson for Jackson, Peterson, Chad Greenway (who never played a regular season game) and the talk of training camp, Marcus McCauley. Hopefully they acquaint themselves with the league, make their mistakes, make their mark and come back the following year with a fire and couple nice additions from next year’s draft. All I can hope for is a glimpse of what the future might hold. I feel like I’ve needed to say that with all of the Minnesota teams since I was about, oh… 8. I’m getting sick of this, but Peterson feels like his name could be up there with Barry Sanders, Walter Peyton, Jim Brown and Ladanian Tomlinson by the time his career is over.

Hopefully the Vikings will be able to build a team around this young core of players, especially Peterson, and not waste talent. Will the Vikings front office have the foresight to build their team through the draft and only sign quality veterans to contracts that they actually deserve? Lord knows Kevin McHale didn’t do that for the Timber wolves and KG. I find it interesting that on the day that one sports star arrives to begin his career in Minnesota another has most likely seen his last day playing for his team.

Congratulations on your new contract Adrian. Now go earn it.

KG to the Celtics?????

Draftexpress is reporting it's almost a done deal.

Multiple sources close to the situation told DraftExpress Sunday that the Boston Celtics and Minnesota Timberwolves have come to terms on a trade exchanging Kevin Garnett for a package including Al Jefferson, Gerald Green, Sebastian Telfair, and Theo Ratliff. The exact details of the trade aren’t known at this point, but it is believed that the deal will be completed shortly with similar parameters.

Stay tuned for developments...

Holy Crap! Jason Tyner Hit a Home run

I. AM. SPEECHLESS.

Brad Childress says we'll get to see this guy starting tomorrow.

These are highlights from Troy Williamson's time at South Carolina. As you all know Vikings training camp starts tomorrow and somehow Williamson has become the veteran receiver with all of the experience. Nike claims to have fixed old Stonehand's eyes (They make shoes for that?) This is yet to be determined. Also yet to be determined are the contracts of fellow Gamecock and receiver Sidney Rice and most importantly Oklahoma running back Adrian Peterson.

The Pessimist in me says that a young and unproven receiving core and quarterback position can only bring us 4 wins. The optimist says that the tandem of Peterson and Chester Taylor will destroy D-lines and the defense will be just as good if not better to get us to .500. Hopefully Cedric Griffin can keep his pants on and build upon a very solid rookie year and Marcus McCauley (who just signed his contract) can some how magically defend the pass with some help From Erasmus James and Kenechi Udezi (for God's sakes).

This team won't win the division and a wild card berth is almost as laughable. We're going to win 6 games on the strength of our run stopping and ground game and maybe we'll see a few bright spots. I'm just hoping that this new version of the Kick-ass offense can get a couple of touchdowns through the air and let me watch my team into the 4th quarter.

In Theaters Tomorrow…

Its probably a good thing that Lindsay Lohan learned how to work the pole for her film that’s releasing this Friday cause I’ve got a feeling that skill will come in handy very shortly. Big Boi tries to redo CADDY SHACK, but comes up short with no gopher to lean on. THE SIMPSONS MOVIE is finally released after years of speculation and ratings decline. Finally, the biggest farce to hit the screen this week has Catherine Zeta-Jones playing the role of chef… I got 5 bucks says she can’t make scrambled eggs.

Ms. Lohan should probably get contract negations started with VH1 for the 2021 reality show “Lindsay Lohan is 35 and still a crack whore” because her career is over. I KNOW WHO KILLED ME follows two identical twins that are played by Lohan and are very unlike THE PARENT TRAP characters of yesteryear. One is a stripper (Not too far of a stretch) the other is a promising college student (this is where the acting lessons kicked in). The stripper may just be a figment of the college student’s mind, which has been disturbed after a run-in with a serial killer… Catch all of that? Didn’t think so. All you need to know is that it was given an R rating for Gory images, Adult content, Nudity and language. This is probably your first and last chance to catch Lindsay Lohan naked until she gets out of jail and Playboy comes knocking. Please, for the love of god, don’t put more money in this girl’s hands… we all know its just going to end up somewhere in Columbia.

WHO’S YOUR CADDY? Angers me and makes me think that Big Boi has not thought out the rest of his career as well as Andre 3000 has. I truly thought that IDLEWILD had elevated the Outkast duo beyond the shitty rapper/actor stage and into the almost uncharted waters of multitalented artists. Big Boi plays a famous rapper (weird) who is not admitted to a country club. This is totally not like Al Czervik whose loudmouth antics almost got him kicked out of his country club. C-Note (Big Boi) and his entourage (Terry Crews- WHITE GIRLS, Andy Milonakis- WAITING, Lil’ Wayne, Bruce Bruce and Tony Cox- BAD SANTA) terrorize Jeffery Jones’ (BEETLE JUICE, THE PEST HOW HIGH) Cummings, basically role of Judge Smails. Boo this film; just about the only thing its got going for it is an appearance by Terry Tate, office linebacker.

I know absolutely nothing about the new SIMPSONS MOVIE. Homer ends up polluting the river that was already polluted- see Blinky. This causes him to lose his job and forces all of Springfield to evacuate. Somehow a pig is involved. I’d like to applaud them for their marketing as it has gotten me interested in a show that I have not watched since Clinton was in office. I’d also like to ask why Malt-O-Meal, which is about 45 minutes away from me, is only selling Krusty-O’s at the 7-Eleven’s that have been remade into Kwik-E-Marts, the closest of which is in Chicago.

NO RESERVATIONS is about a fantastic chef who is forced to take niece after her sister dies, and cope with a new sous chef. Catherine Zeta- Jones plays the chef who believes that she is perfect in every way and if you disagree you are obviously stupid. The problem is that she can’t even cook her niece (Abigail Breslin) macaroni and cheese. It’s ok because Aaron Eckhart makes one hell of a macaroni and cheese and eventually the two will fall in love. This is a remake of the 2001 German film MOSTLY MARTHA, and apparently it’s a sad attempt.

Box Office should be #1 THE SIMPSONS MOVIE #2 HARRY POTTER #3 CHUCK AND LARRY #4 HAIRSPRAY #5 I KNOW WHO KILLED ME or TRANSFORMERS LILO’s boobs get the benefit of the doubt.

P.S. Wes Anderson has a new film coming out in September. Here is the Trailer for THE DARJEELING LIMITED... Just thought you'd like to know

This Guy is King??

Today at work I was reading what the critically acclaimed Neubiedamus wrote, and I had to respond to one statement. I figured it didn't belong in the comments section. Here is what he wrote.

All I know is that, right now, in the Land of the Major Sports
Commissioners, Gary Bettman is king.

Ok, so I agree with the fact that Bettman's league hasn't had anyone raise dogs to fight, had any referees investigated by the FBI for fixing games, or has his league's sacred records under a "cloud" of steroid use, but in the so called land of the major sports
commissioners he's far from king. Bettman has shown an absolute ineptitude in running the NHL. He began as NHL commissioner in 1993, and in his time the game of hockey has failed to generate the following that it deserves.

Gary Bettman has overseen his sport through three work stoppages, one of which
caused the entire 2004-2005 season to be canceled. Four franchises have had to declare bankruptcy. He has pulled teams from markets like Winnipeg and expanded teams in to markets like Nashville where the sun shines but nobody cares about hockey. After watching these teams in non-traditional markets see little success, he has blocked teams moving to markets like Hamilton, Ontario, where they have the funding for stadiums and fans that would enthusiastically back them. There is even speculation that when the NHL came looking to the NBA for their new commissioner, before Bettman was hired, David
Stern looked around his office and found the dumbest man working for him and said here ya go.

I know that his position in the presently, relative to the other 3 commissioners, may seem better, but I must insist that the job he has done as the NHL commissioner is horrible. He faces the reality that the other can't even imagine; no one is watching. He has them on a fringe cable channel, which people (who must be the laziest people alive) complain that they can't find. He has the NHL in a deal with NBC, who hasn't had to pay a cent, and where they pick the games and then drop them for horse races that won't even occur for a matter of hours.

There are a few bright spots in the league. There is some great young talent coming into this league, in response the NHL needs to do what they can to sell these kids to the fans. The fans they do have are very loyal, and will go out of their way to view the games. Although I hate them as much as the next guy there have been rumors of the World Wide Leader expressing interest in buying Versus out of their contract with the NHL. This would be great; it would mean more games, highlights, and exposure.

In this world of the Major Sports Commissioner, Selig has it pretty bad, all of which is his fault. Also, he hasn't handled this Bonds situation very well. Stern, who will never lose his job, has a pretty big task ahead of him. He has the opportunity to make his league much more transparent to the public, which will slowly bring fans back. This Goodell character has it fairly good. Dog fighting is really bad in the public opinion, which makes Michael Vick bad, so there is not much flexibility with what his decisions should be. Also, the NFL is a Teflon league, nothing seems to hurt it.

If any of these Commissioners needs to go its still Bettman first, Selig 2nd in my book, the other two have great job security. As a true fan of the NHL, I say Fire Bettman.

So.. THIS Crumb is the Reason I Haven't Won a Bet in the Last 3 Months??

All those hours of watching games. All the time spent on the Internet checking out stats and the latest trends. All those years gaining the common sense needed to make good decisions. Down the shitter.

The average sports better has always been disadvantaged. Its the nature of the beast. That's why the sports books stay open. With the "juice" that comes along with every bet or the fact that people much smarter than you and I set the lines with the help of more information than any of us with ever care to look at. Most people are sheep when it comes to betting, choosing to pick YOUR team, when they clearly have no chance of staying in the game. Or picking the Yankees or Cowboys because that's only teams you ever hear about on Sportscenter. But the few of us who actually pay attention to going on of things outside 100 miles of our homes are still behind the eight ball. The only reason we might have a better time of wagering is that we can use the information collected to make informed decisions.

Now, saying all that, it means nothing if you have some slappy on the inside working against you. You are pretty much giving your money away to anyone or anything that will take it. The thing is that through out the years, there has been an understanding that sports were sacred. That no one would dare ruin sports. Over the years though, certain people have tested that notion in order to make a quick buck. The Chicago Black Sox, the kid from the Arizona State Basketball team that shaved points, the recent gambling ring run by ex-professional hockey player Rick Tocchet, and of course Charlie Hustle, Pete Rose. The NBA and NFL have never experienced anything like this this related to gambling though.

Until now.

As everyone has heard by now, Tim Donaghy, a long time NBA official has been accused of betting on games in which he was officiating and giving information about the outcome of games that would possibly benefit potential betters. Basically, the douschbag was fixing games. David Stern confirmed yesterday in a press conference that the news story was indeed true and that there was an investigation ongoing.

Probably the thing that stuck out the most from the news conference, and probably one of the funnier things I've seen in a while, was the look on David Stern's face throughout the entire hour. He honestly looked like someone just ran over his golden retriever. I know that's not the funniest thing to think about, but when you think David Stern, you think stoic and firm. You think hard case. Running his league more like a dictatorship than anything else. But to see him stand there limply, looking like a strong breeze would blow him over, it seemed like his baby was being taken away from him. He looked the warden in Shaw shank Redemption, when he realized that Andy Dufrain had single handily just ruined him.



Stern better hope that this was, as he put it, one rouge criminal and nothing more. If this guy squeals and starts naming names, the NBA is ruined. And yes, I mean ruined. For years, people have been wondering out loud if the NBA was rigged, fixed, plotted out like the WWE. And David Stern acted like it was preposterous to think about such things. The league he helped build to prominence could never be taken down like that. Or could it??

Such things make you wonder about happenings in the past and say hmmmmm... Now, as you may or may not know, I am the biggest Michael Jordan fan I know. But even I could see that while he was playing, he got, should I say, the benefit of, oh, a thousand or so calls. Was it that he was just that great of a player? Maybe. Hopefully. But you have to wonder if the most popular player to ever step foot on a basketball court was given the red carpet treatment once or twice. No one will really ever know for sure I guess.

All I know, is that, right now, in the Land of the Major Sports Commissioners, Gary Bettman is king.

I had been wondering for months now how those games that were locks in every way could go so wrong. How with 22 seconds left and the Spurs up 9 in a meaningless game against the Hawks, Jacque Vaughan can proceed to turn the ball over instead of running out the clock as he should. And how the Hawks can then come down and score a meaningless basket, thus making the deficit 7 and ruining my beautiful $30 dollar Parlay. Now, I know the answer. If you need me, I'll be hunting down Tim Donaghy. My new 9 Iron needs to be broken in. I just hope someone else doesn't get to him first.

What is the Best Way to Solve a Rubiks Cube?

Michel Gondry has got a nose for the cubed puzzle.

A letter to T-Hud

Listen, guy, you, I and everyone else who still holds some allegiance to the horrible basketball team known as the Minnesota Timberwolves know that you are not worth the 9 million or so that the team is offering you to leave. The fact that you feel that this offer is too low is ludicrous, Mr. Hudson. The writers of Forbes are among the only people who could ever agree that you are worth the contract you were given, and the world may never know why that is. Congratulations on becoming one of the many veterans to convince Kevin McHale to give you far too much money. Your name goes along side those of Joe Smith (twice), Michael Olowakandi, Mike James and Marko Jaric as the worst contracts in the Kevin Garnett era.

The world knows that once “freed” from this place you will serve as the back up to the back up on some basketball team with an equally pessimistic fan-base and no future playoff contention in sight. Do you know why? You are a cancer and believe yourself to be better than you actually are. Did Mr. McHale’s contract actually make you believe that you could play ball? I once saw the man tip his taxi driver $1,000 for knowing how to drive. He gave the doorman a five-year contract extension to a building in which he did not own, let alone live in.

I implore you to give up you shitty basketball career and embark on your new, equally shitty rap career (Via RandBall). Maybe you can convince Ron Artest or Ludacris to give you a 5 record deal based on the street cred that you gained growing up on the mean streets of Carbondale, Illinois. That is if you don’t come down with a bad case of bronchitis that prevents you from putting together those final 4 albums. (If you feel that this may be in your future you may not want to sign with Artest I heard he’ll be taking the Suge Knight approach to recording).

Take the money and run. You are the bane of my existence as a Wolves fan, Troy Hudson.

Sincerely.

Muck

7/31 UPDATE: I just found out that Hudson's Album sold all of 78 copies in its debut weekend. Wanna see THUD at work? here is a link with a video

Take That David Beckham!

Too bad there are no lamp posts on a pitch or this guy could have a future somewhere. Showoff.

What do Thomas Edison and Mike Vick have in common?

This is possibly the smartest animated cat I've ever come across. Hopefully one day this cat will tell us all about William Randolph Hearst. He too was an evil man whose legacy has somehow been twisted into that of a pioneer.

Mentos and Beer

Remember that Mentos and soda phenomena? Beer and Mentos is way better. The guy doesn't even use a bottle and the results are spectacular. I've got to try some of this Carlsberg.

In Theaters Tomorrow…

There are three films releasing this week (July 20^th) that are worth mentioning. The musical HAIRSPRAY is a remake/ rewrite of John Waters’ 1988 film of the same name. Adam Sandler and Kevin James get all gay on us with the help of one of SPK’s favorite hottie - one Ms. Jessica Biel. The final film, SUNSHINE, come out in limited release but about 7 months ago you couldn’t go to movie without seeing the trailer.

Apparently the new HAIRSPRAY is based off of the Broadway show that is based off of the original, so it has some new material to go along with the new cast. Waters fans should not be too worried about the new stuff because he signed on to produce the thing. I never thought that Waters’ work would be remade… I’m not a huge fan of his but I just feel that nobody makes a film quite like him outside of possibly a young Pedro Almodovar. The film is of course set in Baltimore, set in the 60’s and revolves around a young, bigger girl who dreams of landing a spot on one of those old dance shows. Eventually the issue of race and segregation gets involved (there are two shows; one white, the other black). This ain’t exactly my cup of tea, but the film has a stellar cast including John Travolta, Christopher Walken, Queen Latifah, Michelle Pfeiffer and former Nickelodeon star and current girl next-door type hottie Amanda Bynes.

I NOW PRONOUNCE YOU CHUCK AND LARRY is more my style of film, big fan of comedies and there have been few occasions where Adam Sandler has done me wrong but this may be the one. I mostly blame CBS for my thinking that Kevin James is not funny. Chuck (Sandler) is a bachelor and Larry (James) is a widower, they are both firemen. Larry finds out that his pension will not go to his children unless he is married… his best friend Chuck owes him for saving his life in a fire and is forced to go through with the marriage. Someone checks into the whole thing Biel is their lawyer, she takes off her clothes, Sandler’s friends do a cameo and we’re done. Rent it.

SUNSHINE is set 50 years in the future when our sun is dying and a crew of astronauts is sent out to re-ignite it (suspend reality people). Michelle Yeoh (CROUCHING TIGER HIDDEN DRAGON) is the only actress of note in the film; the guy who played Pablo Escobar in BLOW is also in the film. I wanted to mention this film because the film is directed by Danny Boyle (TRAINSPOTTING, 28 DAYS LATER, THE BEACH). I dig Boyle, he’s got range and he makes a beautiful film. Those looking for a film involving aliens will be disappointed- this film deals with the psychological effects of seeing the same 8 people for over a year and knowing that you are humanity’s last hope. Some stuff blows up, too.

B.O. should look like this #1 HP and the OOTP #2 TRANSFORMERS #3 CHUCK AND LARRY #4 HAIRSPRAY #5 RATATOUILLE

Shedding Some Light on the Microsoft Surface

The future is here and it's not an iphone, its a big ass table

Arthur Blank is Kicking Himself

As you all know by now The Michael Vick Experience includes killing dogs, “allegedly.” The shit that he has been accused of sounds brutal. Losing dogs either died in the pit, got drowned, hung, electrocuted or slammed repeatedly on the concrete until they died. These allegations make Marcus look like the good Vick brother and making Marcus look good is damn hard to do. Ron Mexico or Ookie or whatever you want to call him is screwed.

Vick has been charged with Conspiracy to travel in interstate commerce in aid of unlawful activities and to sponsor a dog in an animal fighting venture in U.S. District Court for the Eastern District in Richmond, Va. Even if he manages to not serve any of the possible 6 years in prison that he is looking at he is screwed. Nobody is going to want him as a spokes person and Goodel will most likely suspend him for at least a few games if not an entire season. With 54 other people on the team there will be a big loss of respect. A handful of teammates have got to animal lovers and I can only imagine that they will want nothing to do with their quarterback. Image stolen from KSK.

Blank and Bobby Petrino have to be shitting their pants. They just put all of their eggs in one basket when they traded Matt Schaub to the Texans for the #8 overall pick (DE Jamaal Anderson) and #39 overall pick (OG Justin Blalock). I bet they wish they had used one of those on a backup quarterback. Atlanta’s season is over now that Joey Harrington is the starting quarterback. when was the last time you said thank god Harrington is playing and it wasn’t because your fantasy defense was playing him? My guess is that D.J. Shockley takes the reigns around game 7 or Culpeper ends up in Atlanta. Somewhere I can hear Joe Horn slamming his head against a wall and saying, “stupid, stupid, stupid… I could have won in New Orleans.”

Hey Mike, I hope the guys in jail didn't hear about that rape stand thing. I bet they'd think that was a good idea.

Vacation!!

We here at Some People's Kids feel the need to let our hair down every once in a while. What exactly does that mean? We're all going to find a nice piece of land in southern Minnesota that we like to call a cabin, drink too many beers, play bean bags for 8 hours straight and contemplate life, the universe and everything in it. It also means I'm gonna be free balling for the next four days. I think underwear is the devil. I love this weekend so much I'm going early just to pick a prime location for my tent and set off some fireworks. After I'm done with that I'll probably poor some beer out for my homies who couldn't make it; a Tibetan monk, a dewy duck, the birthday boy and Top Gun.
I know you're going to miss random pictures of Jessica Biel's ass or Jessica Alba in a compromising situation but deal with it. If you find yourself at the theater and have totally forgotten that I already wrote the film preview Just think WWMD -What Would Muck Do? You will survive my friends, I have faith. If you're dying for Twins news go to Aaron Gleeman, if you're dying for T-wolves news hit up I heart KG, If you're dying for Lynx news you should probably shoot yourself. If I were you I'd stop by RandBall too.

The pic at the top is from last year. all of the writers are in there somewhere. If you can pick me out of the crowd I'll give you a nickel. Unless I have given you a nickel for some other reason.

In Theaters Tomrrow???

I gotta do the question mark thing again 'cause HARRY POTTER comes out tomorrow. Its the fifth one, HP AND THE ORDER OF THE PHOENIX. It was my favorite book, but the book was long and they missed a ton in the last film so they'll probably end up doing the same. Its like the EMPIRE STRIKES BACK of the Harry Potter world. Ohh Jeez, could I be any nerdier with the STAR WARS reference in a post about Harry Potter? ( I could probably type the word Jeez and leave it in there) I'm probably more excited about the final book coming out cause my jaw hit the floor when that one guy did that one thing to the other guy and I have no clue how its going to end. I hope its not like the Soprano's ending.

The other film coming out this week on the proper film release date is CAPTIVITY. The film stars Elisha Cuthbert as a Model who has been kidnapped by some psycho. Sounds exactly like SAW, two people trapped in a room and being tormented with games. The film only has two things going for it profit wise; the first is Cuthbert's body and the second is the controversy stirred up by a couple of billboards featuring said hottie.

No time for Box offices! I must help a lady celebrate the day of her birth.

The sportsfrog just had this up on their site so I though that I would see where we fall. It turns out we're potty mouths here at SPK. Oh well my life will go on. It says we used the following bad words:

• shit (6x)
• suck (5x)
• shitty (3x)
• asshole (2x)
• poop (1x)

Honestly I'm kind of disappointed by this. I would have figured it would have been much worse. Well I guess by doing that those numbers just went up one each, lets work on making this list longer.

Mingle2

All-Star Un-Weekend is Upon Us.

No matter what the sport there is always a stigma attached to All-star games. The Superstars never want to play, everybody thinks their guy deserved a spot and didn’t get it (*cough * Pat Neshek * cough*) and the games usually aren’t too defensive. Baseball has tried to remedy this problem after the debacle in 2002 at Bud’s own stadium, but all that has resulted from that mess was AL home field advantage in the world series for, oh… say the next quarter century. Of course, that doesn’t bother me with the Twins in the AL, all Pohlad has to do is spend some $ ching $ and keep Torii, Johan, Nathan, Cuddy and Morneau to long-term deals. I know he’ll never pay them all because owners are assholes but I can dream, dammit.

Anyway, tonight Dr. Morneau is gonna be crushing the long ball in the Home Run Derby. If I know my Morneau correctly he’ll be adding to his legend by becoming the first player ever to kill another when he accidentally knocks Eric Byrnes unconscious and he slips off his Kayak into McCovey Cove. I also wouldn't mind if he did the same to Kenny Mayne. The good doctor will have fellow Canuck and baseball smasher Larry Walker lobbing gopher balls in his general direction. Did he slight Scotty Ullger and Joe Vavra with his decision? Possibly, but putting two Canadians together in a lax environment and micing them can only lead to great sound bites. I’m probably going to petition to get a second Canadian into the NBA so we can listen to Nash say “Eh.”

Like I mentioned the other day Johan Santana, Torii Hunter and Justin Morneau will be playing in the big game, and like I didn’t mention Ron Gardenhire is one of the coaches on Jim Leyland’s squad. I hope Torii measured Barry Bonds’ head when the future home run king picked him up back in 2002 so that we can settle this steroid business. Oh yeah, and if you wanted to go the game but couldn’t scrape enough change together out of the ashtray some dentist managed to get permission from MLB to wear a silly-ass hat on his head with a camera so you can feel like you’re at the ball park. Drunken, obnoxious asshole blocking your view included!

Some stuff hapened while I was gone

While I was gone a couple notable things happened regarding the sports teams in Minnesota That I thought were worth mentioning.

The AL All-star team was announced somewhere between Iowa and Wisconsin and I swear to god it took me 2 days to figure out which Twins made the team. The batting Champ was replaced by the MVP Torii got invited this year and Johan made it 3 in a row. Pat Neshek was included on the Internet vote for the final spot. Alas, the wacky, blogging reliever from Brooklyn Park was unable to overcome the terrible twosome that is the Red Sox nation and Japan. Hideki Okajima stole the final spot.

In other Twins news... Holy shit, they scored 32 against the White Suks today. Torii had one in each game, Dr. Morneau had 3 (in one game!), Gimpy Cirillo had one, Kubel displayed that power people keep on trying to tell me he has and Cuddy hit double digits in the HR catagory. In the second game of the double header Mike Redmond took a bat to the face invoking a strange rule that TNABACG explains. I'm calling it the Chris Hientz rule from now on

In Wolves news Kammron Taylor was added to the Summer league roster. I believe that this is a good pickup and though it will not fill the void left by Bracey, its a start. Stupid McHale.

The Wild signed Pierre Mark Bouchard Wes Walz to one-year deals and requested arbitration for Boogaard. They also Signed a dude on 'roids so that we have a chance of beating the Ducks. I will have my day, Earl.

The Vikings plan on raping you if you want to go to the Bears or Packers games. If you want tickets to those games you're gonna need to buy preseason games. Note to self- Hit up the August 10th or 30th preseason game to check out Adrian Peterson... people will be giving away tickets. Also, Kelly Holcomb would like to become the quarterback for the team, but Brad Childress still feels like the team isn't ready for quarterback at this point in time.

Bracey is Free!!!

I just got back from a long and complicated journey to discover that Bracey Wright will be playing of the Denver Nugget's Summer League. Ohh, Bracey, we hardly knew ye. I'll probably spend the part of the day tomorrow that is no consumed with work compiling a list of questions to send him once again. Hopefully he is willing to tell us everything that is wrong with the Wolves organization, or at least give us something of interest. Thanks to I heart KG for keeping this valuable nugget of information from slipping through the cracks. Seriously, go check her out cause she does way more leg work than I'll ever do.