SlamBall Is The Shit

And its coming back thanks to Pat Croce and the original creators. Spike needs to pick this back up... I'm sure your audience can do with one less hour of "That 70's Show" or "CSI: whatever city you happen to be in."

Slamball gives hope to people my size to happen to not be afraid of trampolines or physical violence on a basketball court. I happen to not be a member of either group, but back in 9th grade before the trampoline/basketball court incident I might have been encouraged to pursue this sport.

Stephen Curry will murdalize your bracket.

The sophmore from Davidson went off for 30 points, 25 of them in the second half to come back from 17 points down to upset Georgetown. Georgetown shot 63.4 percent from the field and still lost! The Hoyas had this game if they hadn't turned it over 20 times.

This Curry kid's draft stock just went through the roof... he's played two games in this tournament and has 70 points. He gave Adam Morrison another reason to cry when he went off for 30 points in the second half against Gonzaga.

Pappa Curry, also known as former NBA sharp shooter Dell Curry, must be proud of the way his son has performed in the tourney. Dell was the 1993-1994 sixth man of the year, ranks 17th all-time in 3-pointers made and is the all-time leading scored for the Charlotte Hornets, but his son seems to have a real shot at surpassing those accomplishments if his college career is any indication. He was second in scoring among freshmen right behind a guy by the name of Kevin Durrant last season and this season he dropped 24 on UNC, 20 on Duke, 29 against NC State and 15 against UCLA.

I'm gonna go out on a limb and say that Cinderella is named Davidson this year. Forget Nova or Western Kentucky... Davidson has a real shot to beat Wisconsin. Georgetown only allowed 57.6 points per game, a mere 3 points more than the Badger's best in the nation 54.3 ppg. Obviously Davidson can handle defensive teams.

Why is it that I never know this shit prior to writing up my brackets?

The Downfall of Duke

Last year Duke fell to VCU. I still remember Eric Maynor willing his tam to a win. This year Duke fell to a more formidable team in West Virginia. Joe Alexander is the man on that team, but the person who was really responsible for this victory was back-up point guard Joe Mazzula. Mazzula had 13 points, 11 rebounds and 8 assists. Alexander added 22 points and 11 rebounds in the victory. Its also important to acknowledge Alex Ruoff's fade away 3 as the shot clock expired for sparking West Virginia's comeback.

Coach K can blame the cold for having to constantly blow his nose in the post game interview, but he'll have to blame the Mountaineers for the tears. For the Blue Devil's next trick they'll become the number one seed for the next tourney and subsequently also become the first one seed to fall in the round of 64. Or miss the tourney entirely. Either way I'll be satisfied.

Now I must watch the Michael Beasly show and hope that he and Bill Walker can beat Wisconsin, a team that rivals the San Antonio Spurs in boring but solid play.

My Penny Bracket

I've got a good 6 or so brackets floating around the internets and the outerntets, but I won't be talking about any of them except for "Abe Says" because I don't believe I'm in any position to be giving out advise on this subject, though I may gloat if I actually win one as that would be a first.

There are two rules I feel confident about giving and they are 1) Try to pick no more than 8 upsets (2 per region) in the first round* and 2) Don't trust one seeds as they have too much pressure to win the whole thing... I try not to put more than 2 in the final four.

Now onto Abe.

I decided to fill out an entire bracket decided by coin flips. Abe was the higher seed, his memorial the lower seed. I joined a large Yahoo group by the name of TUBBY SMITH in hopes of beating at least one of the other 500 people. I don't have a snowball's chance in hell of beating anybody.

Both Portland State and Texas Arlington immediately took out Memphis and Kansas. Amazingly in the east region North Carolina and Tennessee play in the elite 8 with Tennessee winning that game, but in the first round I have 4 upsets: South Alabama, Boise State, St. Joes and shifty fellows from George Mason who basically ripped everyone's bracket to pieces last year.

In the Midwest Siena and Nova join Portland state as the upsets. Wisconsin falls to Portland State in the elite 8 game.(Stupid coin)

In the South Temple, Cornell and Kentucky join Texas Arlington as the upsets. Pitt falls to Miami in the elite 8. Somewhere outside of Chicago Aaron Gray says, "I'd gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today."

In the west Baylor, Georgia and Belmont are the upsets and BYU takes UCLA out in the second round. West Virginia takes out BYU to make the final 4. I am left with one of the shittiest final fours ever. Tennessee is the only team with a legit shot to make it for real and West Virginia has a very, very outside shot but Portland State and Miami have no business being there. Luckily, they fall to their counterparts and I'm left with a game I would actually like to watch a game won by West Virginia. Somewhere Kevin Pittsnoggle goes, "Dude, I just got a map of Morgantown tattooed on my ass!"

Some anal retentive bastard out there is probably going, "wait both Miami and West Virginia were 7 seeds, how did he flip the coin?" I gave West Virginia heads because I like the Big East better than the ACC.

*I don't consider a 9 over an 8 an upset

Blake Hoffarber's (2nd) miracle shot

Blake Hoffarber must spend entirely too much time in the gym thinking up ridiculous shots to attempt in order to have presence of mind, timing and aim to to make this sort of shot. The shot was amazing and almost an exact duplicate of Christian Laettner's shot against Kentucky in 1992.

That shot allowed Tubby Smith's record of seasons with at least 20 wins to continue for a 15th year. It also kept the gophers dreams of an NCAA birth alive for another day... Unfortunately The Gophers lost today to Illinois and have about a snowball's chance in hell of making it.

This shot along with his Minnesota state tourney shot may have put Hoffarber on the radar for the NBA. The kid is pretty good for a freshman who was not Tubby's recruit and after 3 more years of playing with the guys Tubby convinced to play in Minnesota he just might end up being drafted in the second round or maybe even at the end of the first.

Amazing. Indiana had so many chances to win this game.

2-0 (soon to be 3-0)

To be honest I don't know how the Cyclones are going to score on Saturday. This is what they have to look forward to this weekend. Zero first downs, and no positive yards till the middle of the 3rd quarter. This could be interesting.

Out of nowhere The Hawkeye Compulsion up and moved. It looks good so far. P.S. I hate you...

According to the Sporting News the Clones rank 106th in the nation in Offense, with only 13.5 points per game.

Go tell the Des Moines Register what you think ISU's chances are.

Here are some more pictures from last Saturday.

I Like-a Da Football

As of yesterday the football season has officially begun and I am excited. Not that I don’t love baseball but its not exactly the most action packed sport ever, it gets pretty boring in the middle of the season and I don’t write about NASCAR, golf or soccer. College football started yesterday and NFL teams just cut their rosters down to 53 in preparation for the season to begin next week.

As everybody already knows by now the Appalachian State Mountaineers shocked the world by ripping Ann Arbor’s heart out and muddying Lloyd Carr’s future even further. I think this kid exemplifies the joy felt across the other 49 states. Now, the Gophers find themselves tied with the Wolverines and more importantly Iowa’s bowl expectations are elevated, even if only a little bit. Neither the Hawks nor the Gophers were on television in Minneapolis but we know that the Hawks failed to score a million points and “Gopher Nation” failed to get it’s first win. Jebus over at the Compulsion broke down the entire Big Ten, and I’m lazy so go read his post. (Did we mention that Ohio State lost DE Lawrence Wilson to a broke leg?)

Appalachian State was the only major upset, but out in California the Golden Bears got revenge over Tennessee in the only game pitting two ranked teams against each other. Desean Jackson returned a punt almost 80 yard for a touchdown. For those of you keeping track that’s the sixth of his college career and a 22% return rate. Virgina Tech won their first game of the season and first since the tragedy that occurred on their campus in late spring. Notre Dame proved that it is over-rated after failing to put up a touchdown against Georgia Tech.

Darren Mcfadden rolled over Troy for 151 yards, one TD running and one TD passing. Mississippi State’s Zach Smith needs some asprin. West Virginia will have defenses scratching their heads all season long; Pat White and Steve Slaton each had four touchdowns (one was a pass from White to Slaton). Colt Brennan threw for 6 touchdowns and 416 yards in the first freaking half! My boy Ray Rice ran for 184 yards and 3 TDs for Rutgers. Tim Tebow had his first start for the national champion Gators and managed to throw for 300 yards and added 4 TDs (one rushing) to the blowout. In Nebraska Marlon Lucky introduced himself to everybody outside of The Big 12 with an astounding 233 yards and three touchdowns.

As for the pros, The Vikings have cut their roster down to 53 and made some interesting cuts in the process. The team decided to go with three fullbacks and three tailbacks and keeping Naufahu Tahi over Artose Pinner and Ciatrick Fason. Second year safety Greg Blue was cut in favor of Mike Doss and Tank Williams. Both players went out with injuries last season while Blue is a hard hitting young guy who probably could have helped on special teams. Cornerback Devonte Edwards was released in favor of Marcus McCauly (good call), Charles Gordon (meh) and Ronyell Whitaker. I feel that Edwards is defiantly a better player than Whitaker.

According to The Daily Norsman the team has picked up TE Garrett Mills from the Pats. The Norsman also said that Tyler Thigpen and DE Khreem Smith were claimed off waivers by the Chiefs while Edwards was picked up by the Giants. Here is the current roster with Mills taking Guard Brian Daniels spot.

LUNCH BREAK: Tigers need not wait said half hour

Yesterday I brought you a naked swimmer and today I bring you a swimming tiger. Bez pointed these pictures out to me the other day and since I had no theme for the lunch break I thought this would do. Today’s links are very Minnesota heavy so screw you, other 49 states in the union. There, I said it.

Musings from a Twins fan trapped in Chicago. Apparently they are still bitter about the sweep.

Roger Goodell’s inner monologue

Surprisingly the Wolves don’t show up on this list of the worst and best NBA drafts in the last ten years. Except for the time they passed up their pick.

Some notes about Tarvaris Jackson and Adrian Peterson from NFC-North.com.

Tim Brewster is lying, but his son is probably a better quarterback.

The T-wolves blog want Chauncey back. I just want to know how many guards Detriot would be willing to take in return.

The Cobra Brigade breaks down the NBA finals match-up by position.

Manny and Backstrom forced to appear on stage together to accept an award… Awkward.

Do not play a game of pick-up ball with THE GAME.

Randball takes time out of his busy day to scratch his head.

LUNCH BREAK: Safe At Home Edition

In the past a road trip by one of the writers on this site would have been accompanied by photo like the one above, but nowhere near as sexy. If I have time later this week I may elaborate on the art of a CD case as a projectile. Until then stare a Sarah Silverman for a while and click on some of the links below.

Is your baseball team getting what it paid for?

A Fan’s View from Section 220 tells Twins fans that 2 out of three ain’t bad, but it’s not time to rejoice yet. Also, Dick Bremer can predict the future.

10,000 Takes has found the world’s tallest (and worst) Baseball player ever.

KG for Shawn Marion? I’m willing to entertain that idea.

Roger Goodell’s NFL is Bass ackwards. Did they make Adrian Peterson do this?

The Wild plan on holding onto Backstrom (via 10000 takes)

Chipper Jones hates inter league baseball and Ozzie Guillen has anger issues.

Free Darko hates on the Spurs and gives us a James White video… I consider that a double bonus.

At this point I’d rather read about NCAA basketball than watch the eventual defeats of the Cavs and Jazz.

LUNCH BREAK: 8 over 1 Edition

Baron's beard, Barns' faux hawk and Jackson's gap teeth will be moving on to the next round of the playoffs. The Mavs got manhandled all series, and looked nothing like the 67 game winning team that they claimed to be. On top of that Golden State is the best And1 team ever; they're exciting, fast and if Baron would just put the ball under his shirt and spin it around during a game basketball purists would come running out of the woodwork crying about what I will dub "Nu-Basketball."

Warriors fans have photoshop fun at the expense of Sir Charles for backing the Mavericks.

Ever wonder what Joe Mauer says to the pitchers when he visits the mound?

What in the hell are you guys doing??? You could either be Mr. Irrelevant in the NBA draft or you could spend a year learning from Tubby Smith and not be in the Durrant/Oden/Gators draft class.

Hockey may be over for the Wild, but Randy Carlyle is keeping their spirit alive.

Reason #1 why we at SPK are not tiger fans. Hanible Lecter is scared of this guy.

To sum up this soccer player in one word… CrazyGoNutz!

Howard Sinker has found something very interesting about Joe Nathan. He should now start working on my Jessie Crain problem.

Looks like Ron Artest’s summer rap tour is going to have to cut a few days out of the schedule

LUNCH BREAK: Magic Beard Edition

I got about 4 hours of sleep last night because I was forced to watch the Warriors come back from 20 down against the Mavs only to end up losing. Bandwagon Shmandwagon, This team has had Dirk and Co's number all season long and if it hadn't been for Baron and his beard being tossed from the game the series would already be over. I plan to Nowitness the downfall of the Mavs during game six... it's gonna be fun. Barron Davis’ beard can beat your beard up.

A must read if you’ve ever seen the campy 1979 film THE WARRIORS or if you think Mark Cuban looks funny with a goatee. On a side note Matt Barnes is a hell of a ball player.

Probably the funniest thing I’ve seen in a while. The Yankees find themselves in a few compromising positions.

Sir Sid still stands. Survives seven, slapped in second. Silly Stingrays.

Milwaukee? Seriously? That’s weird.

I’m stoked to have Adrian Peterson. The Fanhouse tells us what to expect from the running back.

If Joel Maturi keeps doing things like this to Tubby and Tim Brewster they’re going to run away.

A 2008 mock draft was an inside joke between a couple of us, but Ben Maller has already started compiling a list of the top NFL prospects.

LUNCH BREAK: Loose Teeth Edition

Where the hell was Boof with the retaliation? Ozzie would have chewed his ass out! I spent far too much time looking for this stuff on suck a beautiful day. I highly suggest checking out the Will Ferrell video with USC's center.

Torii talks about being hit in the face. (you can see the pitch here)

Baseball + Beer + Guns = angry cousins

Jeff Jordan (Michael’s son) walks on to Illini basketball team.

Pat Neshek interview: on whether he thinks hitters will figure out his pitching style-

“Well, I faced plenty of guys in the minors a bunch of times, and they never picked up on it, never really figured me out.”

Charles Barkley ask TNT to let him cover more Sonics games.

“ You’re about to face a hurricane!” The Vikings should pick up Will Farrell with a late round draft pick, then we’d have someone who could get to the quarterback.

Gilbert Arenas marks the start of an NBA Live curse on par with the Madden curse.

The Vikings may be able to lose an extra game each season if Roger Goodell has his way.

A-Rod loved by all baseball fans in the future? So crazy it might actually work.

LUNCH BREAK: Chef Wanted Edition

The last two days sucked as far as "news" goes, but finally we've got some stuff worth sharing with you guys. What did we learn? Don't hang around Ricky Davis, Griffey can still hit homeruns, Josh Howard likes CourtTV and delete your text messages if you're getting side action.

• Ricky Davis’ friends are not cool. No ceviche for them.
• Tracy Mcgrady is either a magician or a wizard.
• Bonds not to break Arron home run record this year.
• Griffey takes sole possession of 10^th on the all-time home run list… would be a step behind Bonds if not for injuries. Here is your steroid angled story.
• The Fanhouse says Matt Spaeth is undervalued.
• I liked Josh Howard before this Truehoop interview. Now I think he’s great.
• Vikings catch a break. Get it? Break. Ha ha, I so funny!
• The bloody sock debate is brought back to life. Shilling works a fastball powerful enough to hit the press box.
• If women hockey players were hot I’d probably want to coach them.
• Triple technical? That sounds crazy! Ohh, Stephen Jackson was involved. That makes sense.
• Alec Baldwin quits yelling at his daughter long enough to yell at draft prospects.

LUNCH BREAK: Eat Fresh! Edition

Brady Quinn likes his Subway, and Trent Green may be the key to the Vikings drafting him (though I don't think we should)

New and ingenious ways to run marathons.

The New York Times breaks down the statistical difference between the A.L. and the N.L.

The MLB says Torii is in trouble for sending Dom. I say bullshit, leave the man alone.

Randball has a mustache fetish, and so do the Orioles.

Derok.net talks T-wolves and the Twilight of KG's productive years.

Carron Butler… Straw chewer extraordinaire. WTF?

Taking power from Mchale is a good thing, but giving more to Glen Taylor probably isn’t.

Kevin Slowey is making a run at Ponson’s spot in the rotation. No protest here, we enjoy sub 1.00
ERAs.

The Big Lead has figured out how to cure cancer, and all its gonna take is some lunch money.

LUNCH BREAK: Turducken Edition

Bracey Wright had 15 minutes 1 Reb 1 Ast 1 TO and 5 Pts in what will most likely be his last as a Timberwolf. Godspeed, Bracey, Godspeed… and get the hell out McFail.

The batting helmet of Dr. Mourneau. Courtesy of Aaron Gleeman

Brian Urlacher owns the most expensive hat ever.

I take back that dick thing I said yesterday. If a Ducks fan can call out Brad May for a sucker punch I have nothing but respect .

TNABCG tells Scott Neidermeyer to watch his back.

Matt Millen has gotten himself into another predicament. Contemplates life, draft pick and secretary's naughty bits.

Even ESPN employees don’t like watching their shows.

"Who are these people and why are they shouting at me?"

This just in: Football players smoke weed.

Gophers say goodbye to Erik Johnson

Congratulations Mark Buehrle. Sox still suck

Lunch Break: Confit de Canard

This guy has a point, but he's still a dick.

Bracey Wright's line for the last 4 games: 21 pts 55 min 9 reb 6ast 2 stl 3 TO - We found out we're not the only ones who appreciate Mr. Wright

Kissing Suzy Kolber discusses the Difference between Sanjaya malkawhaterver and Brady Quinn

Batgirl pokes fun at Carl Crawford using legos. Brilliant!!!

Sneaky, Koren, sneaky.

With moves like this the Rangers are guaranteed to win the Stanley cup.

Anthony Lapanta whispers, "but we're live" later discovers that the Cleveland play-by-play guy has potty mouth too.

Game 4 notes on the Wild and the ducks, and Boogaard will break your face.

Lunch break: Duck soup edition

I was searching the internets while waiting for the hockey game to start and I found too many things to keep to myself. Enjoy.

• Lil' Bow Wow ain't got shit on Lil' Romeo.
• Tim Duncan locates funny bone and is promptly punished.
• Greg Oden does what we knew he would do.
• The Dolphins finally figure out that Culpepper does indeed suck.
• Football Hurts.
• TNABACG has decided who we, as Wild fans, should hate... We agree.
• Shut up Elton, you just want to see our draft pick end up with the Clippers. Screw you playoff situation, we've got problems of our own.
• Why didn't this happen last week? Stupid Pavano

LUNCH BREAK: 9-4-2-6 Edition

This is a great look at the new Twins Stadium renderings.

Here's to accepting Bowl invitations in April, go Navy, what a shitty system that is the bowl system.

Whittlock is on fire. And I quote:

Among Whitlock’s greatest hits on Tucker Carlson (and we’re paraphrasing here): ‘Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton are domestic terrorists lighting fires and picking everyone’s pocket on the way out of town. Jackson should be down at Duke apologizing to those lacrosse players – he owes them an apology for stirring up that mess. Black America is tired of Jackson.’

The Big Lead Rocks. Here is Wittlock's article from the KC star.


This Jackie Robinson tribute is getting a little too big considering there were only 72 African American's on opening day rosters, and now there will be 150 or so players wearing the number 42 on Sunday. The USA Today did a story on this, Torii had something to say too.

Finally... what we have been waiting years for. Baseball cheerleaders!

Friday the 13th comes a day early for Mark Prior. Who are we kidding? This is Mark F*ing Prior!

If you think about it, this may not be such bad news for a Vikings fan this season.

LUNCH BREAK: Frozen Puck Edition

The Wild have their own rally monkey... take that Anahiem sports teams!

Here's a little peek at the upcoming season for my favorite football team the Iowa Hawkeyes.

A great quote from Santana on how long he would like to stay with the Twins, from here.

I'm going to be honest with you. I would like to stay here forever. Now, how many years would they be willing to offer? I don't really know. Hopefully I could do lifetime. That would answer your question because that's what I would like to do.

Danny Ainge is a biter. I'm guessing that's what McHale did to KG.

KSK brings you some more Dysfunctional Family Circus and enlightens us about Mel Kiper's hair.

This is a couple days late but it is a great look at your favorite submariner Neshek.

The King says, "No Dice!"

Kurt Vonnegut is no longer with us.

Look at your new stadium Minnesota. Its glorious!!!

Have fun finding The Big Ten Network.

LUNCH BREAK: ham sandwich edition

While you eat your Ham Sandwich, contemplate stealing your children's candy and think about what Jesus has to do with a bunny we've compiled a few stories written by other people that we thought you should see.

• We've got a new writer... read his final post at his old blog.
  

• J.D. Durbin's dog is named HOSS... and he's the newest former Twin in Boston.

• Pacman Jones has time to work on a rap album. Expect a colaboration from Chris Henry.

• Best Gardenhire quote ever!

"We're getting back to the warm weather of the Metrodome, and we'll see how he progresses here," Gardenhire said. "I'm sure in the distant future we'll find out really quickly."

• Kevin Durant can pay you that five dollars he owes you soon.

• Sidney Ponson has been eating at the Guillen household.

• WILD PUCK BANTER tells you why the Wild will beat the Ducks this time around.

• Hennepin Co. and the Twins finally own the land they're building a stadium on