Some People's Kids: February 2008

Friday, February 29, 2008

Vikes on the move.

The Vikings are getting things going on the Defensive side of the ball early. They made their first free agency signing this morning. Hopefully more to come.

An all-night negotiations session with the Minnesota Vikings produced a deal that has made Madieu Williams a formal Bengal and now one of the highest-paid safeties in the NFL.
Williams, 26, agreed to a six-year, $33 million contract Friday morning after his agent, Ken Zuckerman, and Minnesota officials worked through the night to get a deal done. As both sides spelled out the final language of the contract, Williams headed to the airport Friday morning for a flight to Minneapolis to sign the deal.


Bernard Berrian is also reportedly coming to Minneapolis today to meet with the Vikings. Finally a local team spending some money on some talent that will significantly improve the squad. The Wilf's have given the team a go ahead to spend money. No matter how weird that guy looks, if he's willing to spend some money, I'm going to like him. Although, I think he's a little away from getting that stadium.

UPDATE: The Vikings have also signed former Gophers fullback Thomas Tapeh... looks like Tony Richardson will be playing elsewhere next year. Welcome back Tommy.

Thursday, February 28, 2008

Theo Ratliff has Flown the Coup

The Wolves have waived Theo Ratliff. According to The Detroit News he'll be picked up by the Detroit Pistons and have an opportunity to get his ring before his ever looming retirement. Unfortunately for Antoine Walker, it was not Antoine Walker who was given his walking papers. Walker is also having trouble understanding that you don't need a passport to enter Ohio.

This was bound to happen knowing that Ratliff was in the last year of his huge contract and would be holding back the development of Chris Richards in terms of actual game play over the last 30 games of the season. It would be silly to expect that Richards end up as the starting center, and I'm pulling for out lottery pick to be a center* so we can move Big Al to power forward, but its good to get him into the game more.

Best of luck to Ratliff in his quest for a championship and thanks for opening up that gaping hole in our cap space. TWolves Blog is the best place to find out more on the deal.

*unless Derrick Rose is available

Please Pick Up Donte Stallworth

If you wear purple on Sundays (and the occasional Monday night) you are undeniably aware of the fact that the Minnesota Vikings lack a passing game. One of the many reasons for this is on his way to Jacksonville, Thanks Mike. Another reason is that the team had no go to guy on the field. I'm not getting down on Bobby Wade, because I think he'll be a quality slot receiver, but he is not and never will be "The Man." I also love our selection of Sidney Rice and think that one day he will be a big time receive, but right now he's just to young. Aundrae Allison was a great selection for where he went in the draft last year, but I think he should be used as a return man and to spell our starters.

We need to sign Stallworth and I think we have an in with Brad Childress as our head coach. I know that they never actually crossed paths, but the know some of the same people. Childress was the man who spent his time in Philadelphia coaching Donovan McNabb. Stallworth, as a receiver, no doubt sparked up a friendship with McNabb. Stallworth is a solid receiver, I had him on my fantasy team and he always produced even though he was usually the third option in that powerful offense.

If this team picked up Donte Stallworth he would become a credible threat through the air, give T-Jack some more confidence in throwing the ball, allow Rice, Wade and possibly even VithsanteShaincoe some more room to work with and keep the defense from loading the box. We would have more of a balanced offense with the reciprocal relationship that Stallworth and Peterson/Taylor. I know that this idea is a stretch, but having Stallworth instead of Williamson is a major upgrade and will give peace of mind to the older members of our defense. It will allow us to draft a receiver in a later round and focus on other needs like safety and defensive end on the first day.

In related news The Daily Norsman is reporting that Kelly Holcomb has been released, Heath Farwell has been offered a one year contract worth about $1.4 million and Dwight Smith has been offered a 2 year contract by the Detroit Lions.

I wonder if David Carr is open to backing up T-Jack now that he's been cut by the Panthers. I know hes not great, but hes an upgrade from both Holcomb and Brooks Bolinger.

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Bird Poops In Mouth

I can't tell if this is fake or real, but it made me laugh so I thought I'd share it with you.

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Your Bracey Update

Senior Bracey Wright, Whom I promise to contact his upcoming off-season, as well as some other new Wolves (mainly Corey Brewer because he has a site), needs his stats updated.

A far as I can tell Bracey averaged just under 15 points per game,2.5 rebounds, 1.6 assists, .7 steals, 1.9 T.Os and .5 blocks per game over in Greece. Hopefully some NBA team will realize that these numbers can translate into the NBA game.

I wish his defensive numbers would have gone up to better his chances of becoming an NBA player again, but I hope that someone will give him a chance anyway. At least we know he'll be good some day.

Monday, February 25, 2008

Troy say hello to Mr. Tice

The Vikings collective catching ability just got considerably better:

The Vikings have agreed in principle to trade receiver Troy Williamson to the Jacksonville Jaguars for a second-day draft pick, according to a person with knowledge of the situation.

The trade cannot become official until the official start of the league year, Thursday at 11 p.m. CST.

This of course reunites Williamson with none other then Mike Tice. Which obviously means future success.

The Vikings had a pretty good draft last year, so hopefully this additional pick will have similar results.


*I bet Troy dropped that ball.

Jimmy Kimmel is Banging Ben Affleck?

Jimmy Kimmel had is post Oscar show last night and attempted to get revenge. The video isn't as funny as the original, but he got a lot of stars to show up and some of the cameos are pretty entertaining. I think that the only thing left is Sarah Silverman and Jennifer Garner getting it on for Kimmel's show.

I'd sit down and watch that if they decided to go in that direction.

Saturday, February 23, 2008

And You thought Gilbert Arenas was Quirky

I wonder how much Monta Ellis spends on candles during the season. I guess if it works, it works.

Friday, February 22, 2008

Gerald Green Brings his Cupcake to Houston

The Wolves traded Gerald Green to the Houston Rockets For Kirk Snyder (Above), a second round pick in 2010 and some cash. Green was the odd man out in the core of young players we received from Boston for KG. Its too bad that somebody as athletic as Green couldn't translate that onto the court with the Wolves. The team did the right thing in trading him for a pick and some cash, but I'm afraid that somewhere along the line somebody will be able to teach this high school pick how to play at this level properly. Green played High School ball in Houston and said that the trade was a dream come true.

Snyder, a 6-6 guard, hasn't had much of an NBA career averaging 15 minutes, 2 rebounds, 1 assist and 6 points while playing for the Jazz, The Hornets. He lead the Nevada Wolf Pack to its first ever sweet sixteen in 2004 after beating Gonzaga and Michigan. That season he averaged nearly 19 points, 6 rebounds, 3.5 assists and a steal per game. Most likely Snyder will be gone from the team when the next season begins, but hes still got about 30 games to prove that he belongs on a team with very few certainties.

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

So you think your job is pretty sweet, do ya??

It may just be. But, by no means, is it the best job out there.

When I was growing up, I idolized many different people. Michael Jordan, Tupac Shakur, Hugh Hefner, even Deion Sanders. I thought that maybe, just maybe, if I could be like them, I could win at this game called life. I could accomplish anything. The sky was the limit for this guy.

Sadly, I had it all wrong. I was grossly mistaken every time I drove the basket with my tongue wagging like MJ and everytime I had my football gloves unbuckled like "Neon Deion" hoping to intercept an arrant pass and high step it into the promised land. The entire time I should have spent my hours and hours of practice trying to be a 6'10" white guy who wears goofy ass knee high socks. Instead of dreaming of playing college ball in Chapel Hill or Tallahassee, I should have been aiming at undergrad in Utah. I should have been aspiring to be Keith Van Horn. I know this now, because as we have just learned, he is officially "The Man."

Today, it became official(FINALLY!), and the New Jersey Nets and Dallas Mavericks completed the long rumored deal that basically sent Jason Kidd to Dallas for Dallas' entire bench, two first round picks, 3 million dollars, and the aforementioned Keith Van Horn. Now you may be saying to yourself, how can Dallas trade Keith Van Horn? Didn't he retire or die or something?? Isn't he tending to some sheep somewhere? You would be like me if you did. Here's where the good part comes in. Since Van Horn hasn't officially filed his retirement papers with the league, and since he is still under contract with an NBA team, he can still be including in trades such as these. Was this savvy on the part of Van Horn? Maybe. Wouldn't surprise me. The guy is the Man after all. Either way, it pretty much breaks down to be that Van Horn will get 4.3 Million dollars to get off his couch, travel to New Jersey to take a physical, and then probably travel back home. Even if he stays with the team, he will only have to bear that great hardship for a month, and then he can proceed to laugh his way to the bank, after a buyout from New Jersey. 4.3 Million dollars for a month's worth of what? Not work. Not even play. Just to be. To be Keith Van Horn.

So like I said earlier, Keith Van Horn is my idol. He has the best job in the history of jobs. Sure, the guy who paints the silicon paint on those swimsuit models bodies has it pretty damn good. But not as good as this guy. This is whats wrong with the NBA though. Bloated, guaranteed contracts to players who suck ass or, in this case, players who haven't played in a couple years. If you don't believe me, look at some of the contracts on the books for this year....

Michael Finley-6th man/Three Point Specialist/25 minutes a night- $21 Million per year
Chris Webber- half season pickup/25 minute a night bit player- $19.5 Million per year
Steve Francis- Oft injured/ Might Retire/ Whiny bitch- $16.4 Million per

And these are just a few. Those don't even include Allen Houston,(20.7 million) Brian Grant,(17.3 Million) and Jalen Rose (16.5 Million) who were getting paid up until last year despite not playing for a couple years or just sitting their asses on the bench in high priced suits. Allen Houston was making 20.7 million dollars a year from the Knicks while being an analyst on ESPN... Sad.

I'm sure Shawn Kemp is still getting his 19 mill a year from the Portland Trail Blazers. Which is good for his sake with all those damn ill-legitimate kids running around. And I'm cool with that too, because someone keeps paying for my schooling, and I think it's Shawn Kemp.

So what now for Van Horn? Will he actually suit up for a game or two? I would kinda like to see him get bitched again by Marcus Camby, like he is in this picture. But then again, New Jersey is clearly building for the future and no where in that thought process is Keith Van Horn even mentioned. He will probably go back to what he was doing before, but this time with a lot more money.

I think the real question that presents itself to me now is.. What steps do I take from here? Is there a Keith Van Horn major? Do I have to do an internship helping Keith tend sheep? I gotta get on that shit. I have to figure out how to live by the mantra, WWKVHD?

Sunday, February 17, 2008

Nascar is a Joke

And here is Josh Sneed to tell said joke.

When I fist saw this I figured that he had to have been making the chicken bucket thing up. Never-the-less I did some detective work and sure as shit I found 'em. If for some silly reason you want to own these I've found them for sale on E-bay here.

I don't know why, (probably because the All-star game wasn't on yet) but I actually watched the last 10 laps of the Daytona 500. Dale Ernhardt Jr. didn't win and Tony Stewart didn't win and I consider that a loss for everybody because I think those are about the only drivers I recognize.

Gerald Green's Birthday Cake Dunk

Here it is Ladies and gentlemen, The Wolves one and only appearance in the All-Star festivities. Gerald Green may not have won the contest, but this was pretty good.

Too bad Big Al won't get to play in the All-Star game tomorrow... pretty sure he got jobbed because our team sucks.

Thursday, February 14, 2008

I Hope Everybody has as Good a Valentines Day as Tony

Say goodnight to the bad guy!

Explain Yourself, Mr. George

I bet it sucks to be interviewed by the local media after turning down a trade involving a superstar like Jason Kidd and then going 0-11 in the following game.

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Devean George is Gangsta!

You guys may not have known that, but I have for quite a few years. My father and I always went to Augsburg to see George single-handedly crush the competition back when I was in junior high school. When he was drafted in the first round out of division III many may have scratched their heads. I knew it was deservedly so. You may be scratching your heads right now, sure he has three rings, but he was just a role player on a really good team. I cannot deny this, it is true. The thing is that George put a MONSTER block Jason Kidd today. I bet he knocked the wind right out of Kidd's sails.

Did the Mavs even play the Nets tonight? No. That sort of thing doesn't stop a man like George from wreaking his anarchic fierceness throughout the NBA.

Today, the Mavs attempted to acquire Kidd and forward Malik Allen for Devin Harris, Jerry Stackhouse, DeSanaga Diop, Maurice Ager, George, 3 million dollars and two first round draft picks. That’s a lot of shit, right? Huge trade, right? Not gonna happen. Wait... is that right?

Devean George may have opened the NBA's equivalent of Pandora's Box by using a little know rule that allows players under one-year contract with teams that hold early bird signing rights to block trades like this. These rights cannot be traded along with the player and as compensation to that player they are given the right to block a trade.

I'm gonna go ahead and guess that Dallas won't be following through with their early bird rights, but it was probably still in Georges favor to block this deal. His minutes have diminished this year, but he would have been sent to a team that now had 3 extra players and would have had to A: trade him once again, or B: put him on the far end of the bench on a team that most likely would have favored the role players that have been on the team since the season started.

His agent says the reason for blocking the trade was hold onto this powerful "early bird" rights that will give them leverage in a sign and trade deal in the upcoming off-season. The problem is that George's expiring contract is what the Nets are looking for and keeps the Mavs from taking severe cap hit.

Mark Cuban no es Feliz.

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Livan Hernandez is a Twin

The Twins added some experience to their starting rotation today when Livan Hernandez signed a one-year deal worth about 5 million dollars. Whether or not this turns out to be another waste of money like Ramon Ortiz and Sidney Ponson is yet to be determined. Hernandez went 11-11 with a 4.93 ERA with Arizona last year which is already a slight step up from Ortiz' 11-16 with a 5.57 ERA with Washington the year before signing with the Twins.

The opening day starter is still unclear, but if I had to guess I'd say that Hernandez would be given the job because of his veteran status. He's definitely not Santana and may only be on par with Carlos Silva, but the one thing he does that this team desperately needs is eat up innings. He has thrown at least 199 innings since 1998, hopefully that trend will continue and the bullpen will know that at the very least they'll have one day to rest during the rotation.

The pitchers set to start the year off looks to be Hernandez, Scott Baker, Boof Bonser, Kevin Slowey and a fight between a healing Fransisco Liriano, Nick Blackburn and the newly acquired Phil Humber. If this team has any hope of staying in the race for the central pennant we’re going to need Liriano to show up like he did in his rookie season, Hernandez to pitch more like he did in 2000 or 2003 and Delmon Young to do his best Frank Robinson impression.

God, I hope this pans out.

Monday, February 11, 2008

Sad News for the Purple

Earlier today somebody came across our site by searching these 3 words " Kenechi Udeze Cancer", I thought nothing of this at the time seeing as we often get odd searches that land a person here. Tonight I was watching the local new, which is odd because I normally get my news from Jon Stewart, but Fox ran a story saying that Udeze does indeed have cancer and it is leukemia. Leukemia is a cancer of the blood or bone marrow. Its a serious thing and its something that many people don't recover from. It sounds like this was caught early on which is very good, but it is too soon to know how severe the cancer is.

In 4 years and 51 games with the Vikings the 20th overall selection has made 117 tackles, 11 sacks and 2 forced fumbles. I figured that the Vikings would be looking to pick up another defensive end early in the draft, but this is not the reason I was hoping they would go out looking for one. Here are the top DEs ranked by

We here at Some People's Kids hope that Udezi's cancer turns out to be one of the more treatable versions and that he has a quick recovery and a long, productive career with the Vikings.

Latrell's kids must be really hungry.

MILWAUKEE -- Former NBA star Latrell Sprewell's home is up for foreclosure and his yacht sold at auction to help pay off the $1.3 million he owes on the boat, according to court filings.

Sprewell, who once turned down a three-year, $21 million contract extension saying, "I've got my family to feed," has apparently fallen on tough times.

RBS Citizens NA, or Citizens Bank, filed a foreclosure suit last week in Milwaukee County for the $405,000 home Sprewell bought in the Milwaukee suburb of River Hills in 1994.

In court documents, the bank said Sprewell owed $295,138 in outstanding payments plus interest.

Sprewell failed to make his mortgage payments of $2,593 per month from September 2007 to January 2008, the documents said.

I guess the sub-prime mortgage problem is worse then we thought. For a guy who made millions playing in the NBA, times are tough. For a house that was only 400,000 you'd think he could have made some big payments with the money he was making and have it all payed off. I guess it shows the flaw at it's core.
I wonder which team needs his services the most for a playoff run. Labron always needs help, and as benny was saying, it's close to miluakee. Maybe even Houston, although the Wizards could use some help with Caron out and Gilbert on his way back in less then a month.

This NBA season is becoming quite fun. I would like to thank Steve Kerr, Mitch Kupchak, Chris Wallace, and Pat Riley for helping February not suck as bad as it usually does.

I never talked much about either of the big trades when they happened so I will take this opportunity to.

Shaq for the Matrix*
When I first heard about this I was dumbfounded, which was the case with many of the people I talked to. I first called my brother who lives in Phoenix to see what he thought of the deal. Just like me he had just heard about it but didn't know. Again, dumbfounded.
As I thought about it more, the more it made sense to me. As long as the guy can play 20-25 min a game, maybe a little less, in the playoffs he'll bring so much to this team. There really hasn't been a team, at least one I can remember that would be similar to this team. They can run, and when need be they'll be able to throw the ball down low. This will give Boris Diaw a chance to show what kind of player he really can be. He had a great year when Amare was out and now I think he'll get to play like that again. I'm guessing he'll play many of the minutes opposite to Shaq.
So after my knee jerk reaction of hating it, this trade has grown on me, and I really hope it works out. I'd love to cheer for the Suns this year in the playoffs.

Pau for player a,b,c,d,e,f &g.

I haven't thought about this one as much, but it's a great deal for the Lakers. I feel that it's accepted that they stole him. He's pretty young, and will help them make runs for years to come. When they get Bynum back, they're really going to be a tough team to beat.

*Marcus Banks sucks so we won't included him as being part of this trade.

Thursday, February 7, 2008

Friday: KG's in town. Saturday: Hockey

Unless you live under a rock or in Nepal, you know Kevin Garnett is going to be in town on Friday. He will be making an appearance on the floor before the game but will not be playing. I expect him to get a very large ovation, but it's a shame that he won't be playing, because the fans here in Minneapolis were really looking forward to having him back in town.
The Wolves ticket reps have based their whole ticket sales plan around this game. They had many of the tickets only available in packages. So with Garnett not playing the Wolves are giving every person who comes into the building will be getting a voucher for another ticket to a wolves game.

In response to the likelihood of former Timberwolves player Kevin Garnett not being able to participate in Friday night's game between Minnesota and Boston, the Timberwolves announced Thursday that all fans in attendance will receive a voucher redeemable for one ticket to an upcoming Wolves game. The gesture is in recognition of the special circumstance of Garnett's return to Minnesota, the fan sentiment surrounding this game and also serves as a thank you to loyal Wolves fans in attendance.
I think it's funny that the title of that story is Wolves Thank Fans with Ticket Voucher. Yeah thanks for buying into our ploy to sell more tickets, and because you don't get what you paid or and because we have so many tickets left this year, we'll give you one, thanks for coming.

Anyways, I'm going to the Wild game on Saturday for Hockey Day in Minnesota. I plan on being at Alary's by about noon, and in rare form by game time, wish me luck. I don't know much about what Hockey Day in Minnesota entails besides lots of hockey, so here's a great video from tnabacg.

Jon over there claims to have a ridiculously long preview of Hockey Day in Minnesota. So go check that out tomorrow, I'm sure it will be well done.

Also on Saturday, the Hawks are in town to whoop up on the rodents. I'm guessing the line will open around 5 in favor of the gophers. I like the way the Hawks are playing, especially on D, so hopefully they can pull that off. Well i'm off have a good night, i'll leave you with some more links.

A real life Shawshank Redemption.

Thanks to the guy who does the most work here I was able to read this story on Garnett.
It's a really interesting point, and I believe he may be on to something.

The guys at are no longer anonymous. Turns out one of them even writes for the Office.

If you were unable to attend Twins Fest you need to see the Stadium Model and here is a great review of it.

Stubled across this today I think you'll thank me for sharing. The 50 Hottest Women in Sports. Here's a taste, I have a new found appreciation for synchronized swimming.

Thou Shalt Not Become the First Female President

I was fiddling around on Gawker when I stumbled across this map which combines the tornado touchdowns with the results from super Tuesday.

I have no major problem with Hillary Clinton, but something like this is too good to pass up. I had to share it with all (5) of you. If Obama didn't have momentum coming out of Tuesday already he may have just scored the prized religious democrat vote.
(Thanks to Richard Blakeley for having the presence of mind to combine the two images)

Tuesday, February 5, 2008

Puffy Threatened My Life

... So I went to the caucus. I voted for Pedro.

Monday, February 4, 2008

Doritos - Mouse Trap

In an attempt to redeem myself for my lousy prophetic skillz I present you with the only commercial I loved from last night. When I was searching the youtubes I learned that this was part of a contest that Dorritos put on. I don't know why that last sentence was written.

Sunday, February 3, 2008

I will be Drinking Samuel Adams Boston Lager

In commemoration of the Patriots eventual victory on the field of battle. A month from now I will drink Rheingold beer when Arlen Specter strips the Patriots of their last couple of Superbowls. Pats win 31-28 when Adam Vinatieri Stephen Gostkowski kicks a last second field goal. Lawrence Maroney wins MVP, not by actually being chosen but by snatching it from Tom Brady’s hands during the post game ceremony and stiff-arming every mutha fucka that tries to take it back. U begul shitting Uself if U think he’s giving that thing back.

He celebrates the victory with Kool-aid and Construda.

After the game Eli Manning is consoled by his mother while Peyton points and laughs, Michael Strahan calls Jean and tells her he is going to be a little late with the alimony.

Friday, February 1, 2008

Sarah Silverman is Banging Matt Damon

I don't even really watch the Jimmy Kimmel show but I love the stuff he does with Matt Damon. In this clip his girlfriend, Sarah Silverman breaks some bad news to Jimmy via one of her catchy songs. Serves you right Mr. Kimmel.


The Mets and Johan saved a disaster today coming to terms on a 6 year extension.

That doesn’t include the $13.25 million Santana is set to make in 2008. We also heard there is a vesting option, but the details were unclear.

The Mets agreed to give Johan Santana a six-year, $137.5 million contract extension today an industry source just told the Star Tribune.

I would have been terrible if this didn't get done. I'll add more later, but it's a friday night so i'm going somewhere else now.

Around the Majors.

Useless Post #257

A man with an extremely vague dream started this blog 257 posts ago. That dream became even more unfocused as he allowed a handful of friends to add their musings. About that time Mr. Bez began keeping track of the visits. In the year since the counter began functioning we've had 45,000 plus visits. I'd say that’s pretty good, but I'd also place the blame on the abundance of traffic squarely on the succulent shoulders of Jessica Alba and Jessica Biel. Unfortunately, these women have fallen out of my favor... not because they are not beautiful, but because Ms. Alba is pregnant and may not be a Ms. for too much longer and because Ms. Biel is dating one Mr. Justin Timberlake. I can't dream if Timberlake is messing with my kool-aid. I can't dream if a lady be growing something inside of her.

The question is, how do we get the unsuspecting public to stumble across SPK? We've seen growth. In fact, I believe that some of you people who stop by during the week and actually looking at our content may not even know me personally. You may not even know Bez personally. I want to know in the comments section if you do exist. Let your typing be read!

Regardless of whether or not this is true I've decided to dump Alba and Biel as the unofficial ladies of Some People's Kids and start all over with two new ones. The first is Megan Fox, goddess of robots movies with tattoos and eyes that will pierce your soul. The second is Rachel Bilson, uber sexy girl next door. I absolutely hate admitting that I watched the O.C. my first two years of college, but I've come to terms with it citing the fact that it was always a coed event. Then I saw Bilson on Chuck before the writers refused to be fleeced by the AMPTP anymore and I fell in love all over again. If we have another month where 16,000 people show up it will be their fault and I will know that I am not the only man who has moved on.

Remember to let us know if you enjoy our site in the comments section. Thank you, that is all.