Some People's Kids: 2007

Thursday, December 27, 2007

They'd still suck but...

I've been thinking about the Wolves lately and I feel that I've relegated them to the back of the blog for too long. I chose the old wolves logo because that is what this team reminds me of- The Pre-KG not talent all-stars. I remember going to Wolves games with my father shortly after the birth of the franchise and cheering on Felton Spencer, asking Luc Longly for an autograph (I still have it around here somewhere, Tom Gugliota's too), and most of all that long wait for the first in-person win. I swear it took a good 3-4 years of going to a handful of games a year to finally see a victory.

The thing is that I believe in this team way more than I did in those teams. I believe in Randy Foye and Craig Smith. I believe that one day Al Jefferson will make us forget about KG. I believe that all Marko Jaric needed to get his game jump started was some Brazilain supermodel NaNa. I believe that the player everyone more or less thought was a throw in to help even out money issues could be our point guard for years to come. I'm beginning to think that this team should move Foye to his natural two spot and use our lottery pick on O.J. Mayo or Derrick Rose and put them behind Sebastion Telfair for a while. I'm leaning towards Rose because I have a feeling that Mayo would do like Eli Manning or like Kobe and never step foot in Minnesota.

I don't want to stray too far from the reason I even began writing this, the fourth quarter free fall. It didn't happen tonight, though they still lost, but this team seems to keep me entertained and keep my hopes alive through the first three quarters only break my heart in the final 12 minutes. I did a little research and found that this team would be 10-16-1 if the game only lasted 36 minutes. We held the lead in all four of our actual wins against The Kings, The Hornets, The Suns and The Pacers. We had the lead against Atlanta twice, The Spurs, The Nuggets, The Heat and The Wizards in a game which included a healthy Arenas (scored 27 that night).

If we had that record our team would be better than New York, Chicago, Miami, The Clippers, Memphis, tied with Charlotte and Seattle would be below us in our own division. I'd like to know what Kind of affect "Fourth Quarter" Foye would have on this teams record or what will happen when hes back on the floor and in good health. I'd also like to see what a steady rotation would do for this team. I guess the only real difference would be seen in draft position, the difference between picking Derrick Rose or Roy Hibbert if we really turned it on in the next few months.

I guess I'd just like to see this team play an entire game instead of just watch their opponents take over. I guess I'd just like to see the team play more like the teams that this logo reminds me of.

Tuesday, December 25, 2007

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

What's it gonna be?

Thursday, December 13, 2007

Guest Rant

Dan left us a nice little comment, which I felt needed a promotion from the comments section. Dan is a law student by the way. Thanks Dan.

Im sorry, Im watching this TERRIBLE coverage on ESPN and I feel I need to say something ( I sent an Email to ESPN but I doubt they are going to respond ) Could ESPN be baseball apologists Any MORE? it is goddamned ridicoulous. OF COURSE THE EVIDENCE IS HEARSAY AND CIRCUMSTANTIAL! For being a sports "news" company, one would thing ESPN would put it in a BIT of context. Sen. Mitchell did not have subpeona power to follow up allegations, nor access to or the power to order tests (of which aren't even able to detect HGH because there are no blood testing), and the strength of the union and its players not cooperating leads to only one logical conclusion - this whole thing is a sham to rehabilitate MLBs image. MLB looks like it is doing something - and keeps Congress from actually doing a substantive search and finding some real solid results.

Notice how nobody will be punished from this??? its a joke. people act like its a big deal but nothing will change. Not only does this maintain the level of cynicism that I currently have for baseball, it demolishes the last shred of credibility left for ESPN. I am sick of their made up news stories (T.O. vs Keyshawn.... OOOOOHHHHHH I DON'T FREAKING CARE AT ALL), the incredible imbalance in covering teams (notice that the Patriots have their own tagline at the bottom, along with the NHL, NBA, and NFL - ridiculous - even the Pursuit of Perfection bullshit) and now that they hype the SHIT out of this report, they come out and have the balls to say there is nothing substantive. FUCK ESPN I QUIT. This is pretty typical, I get all pissed off at how much ESPN sucks, stay away from it for two weeks, get drawn back in SPortscenter, then get all pissed off all over again. They have crossed the line from reporting the sports news to creating the sports news. Its terrible.

On another note, on FOX News this morning they had a "source" that claimed had names, and many of them turned out to be wrong - including Nomar Garciappara and Johnny Damon. But that is typical FOX news, much like when that psycho took over the Clinton office they broadcast the wrong guys name for an hour before finding out the real guys name. ITS CALLED CONFIRMING A STORY BEFORE RUNNING IT. Bush League.

Wednesday, December 12, 2007


At 1pm Central Standard time tomorrow shit is going to hit the proverbial fan. George Mitchell has called a presser for 2pm eastern at the Grand Hyatt, in New York city. In this press conference he will be revealing his report to Major League Baseball on steroid use. It is expected that he will be naming up to 70 players, former and present, that are associated to steroids.

To be honest, what i think you need to be warned about is what is going to come about because of this Mitchell Report; nothing. Nothing is going to change, from the way it is now. They aren't going to go take stats away from these players. They aren't going to give fans money back because they got tricked into believing lies. Nope, there will be a bunch of people who will say, "I told you so," and then we'll go right back to the way things are now.

This report will not point any fingers at the real problem in baseball, Mr. Bud Selig. He ignored the problem when he was an owner, and when he became commissioner he did the same. So this report will ignore him and his office who were and are the true enablers in this whole problem and point fingers at players.

The fun part now has been speculating who will be named in this thing. To me it's pretty obvious the twins non-tendered Jason Tyner today because they know he'll be named in this thing tomorrow, and they don't want to be associated with such a power player like him. Well, until tomorrow at 1 central take a break from all that is baseball commentary, because come 1:45 you will be unable to get any other kind of commentary for quite a while.

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Lunch Break : I'm Starving and won't make it to lunch

-I wonder if this energy bar is something you can eat out on a boat. Fred Smoot's Smack!!

-I have Roddy White on my fantasy team and it ended up that I didn't need his points monday night, so I would like to give them back, because this kid is a tool. And he has free T-shirts. "I did it myself."

-Get your fun last name Cubs jerseys. As I write this I learned the Cubs just signed Kosuke Fukudome. That is a fun last name. I wish we played them this year, because it would be classic how Dick and Bert reacted to that name. No link yet, but I'm sure when I post this that if you look hard enough you will find the story, I have faith in you.

-Although this wouldn't happen for a few years, ESPN has expressed interest in broadcasting the English Premier League (EPL). I have a feeling this could be a very polarizing issue. With the history the WWL has in being a self serving bastard of a cable network, it would be interesting to see how they could fuck up the most popular sports league in the world. ESPN & the Premiership.

-You think athlete's here make lots of money, check out what this F1 driver's reported contract:

MADRID, Spain (AP) -- After an unsettled season marked by infighting and controversy, Fernando Alonso capped 2007 on a positive note.

The two-time Formula One world champion agreed to a two-year contract with Renault that puts him back behind the wheel of the French team where he achieved his greatest success.

Spanish media reported that Alonso would earn $51.3 million per season, though Renault would not confirm the figure.

That's a bit more the A-Rod.

-For all you Gopher basketball fans, I know there are tons of you out there, Tubby finally signed a contract today. $13 million/7 years. That seems either too long or too low to me, but I'm not going to do the research to confirm my theory.

-Last but not least: Snack-Attack

Shit, this bandwagon is getting full.

So before this NFL season began, I made a bet with a guy from work for the small amount of $20. I bet him that the Vikings would not make the playoffs, ho hum. Easy enough one would think, but no. Welcome to the Unpredictable Football League (as I write this I realize this may be my first post ever on NFL football, weird). The Vikings are now 7-6 and set up to get a Wild-card. Their up coming schedule even looks good. I guess it did last year too before they lost a bunch in a row. I feel I am going to be saying so-long to my $20 fairly soon, oh well.

I didn't think I would be able to say this this year, but this team is actually fun to watch at times. And it's not only purple fans who are noticing this. With NBC moving the Vikings game against the Redskins on Sunday the December 23rd from a noon start to night game, they will have two prime time games, two weeks in a row. Also, that Sunday night game is the day before Christmas Eve, so many people have the next day off, which should translate into fairly good ratings. It's been a while since the Vikings have people outside of this market wanting to watch them. I even went to one half of a game this year, the 1st half of AP's 296 yd rushing game. Too bad I only stayed for the 1st half, well it wasn't too bad, the 2nd half I ended up at the strip club getting lap dances.

It's kind of odd having a team, besides the Twins, in Minnesota that have playoff chances. This has, as they say, always been a football town, and I guess it's good to see them do well. I don't know where this post came from, and I know it blows, but maybe it will get me doing this more often. Get on this bandwagon before it gets too full.

Monday, December 10, 2007

the Post Office Rocks

I just spent the last 20 minutes or so at the local post office waiting to send off one of my graduate school applications and I had a blast. The place was packed with people who were probably getting their x-mas gifts sent off in time for the holidays. I guess they could have been sending off their Hanukkah presents as well but those aren't going to arrive until Tevet and that could be a problem. If today was any indication of what a normal day is like I'll likely be spending my time away from work just hanging around over there. I talked to an old lady about the differences between the post office in Montana and the one here, which contrary to popular belief is actually an interesting conversation, and I ran into Nubile's ex-ladyfriend.

*Me- " Whats crack-a-lackin'?"
Her- "Nutin'."
Me- "aight."
Her- "Aight, peace."

I think my favorite part of the whole escapade took place at the counter around the corner from the single-file line that everybody stood in. The man at the station was calling the next person in line up to his counter and I happened to be one of the lucky customers beckoned into the bowels of the post office. After paying my $4.60 (I had to send it priority because I waited until the last second to decide that I did, indeed, need to get me some more learnin') and not paying the bullshit 60 extra cents to track the package i was witness to one of the greatest arguments ever.

The clerk was a salty, rotund little man who obviously hated his job. I got all of this from his attempt to sell me the previously mentioned bullshit extra 60 cents and his subsequent scowl when I told him why I didn't want to. As I walked back to the desk a man came in the door and followed me. Before I even finished my transaction he forced a $20 bill in front of me and demanded a roll of stamps. The clerk told him that he was not in line and would have to wait his turn. The man told him that he was in line now and demanded his stamps. They went back and forth a bit longer with the clerk yelling at the top of his lungs about how he had cut line and the customer smirking and being a dickhead. I swear to god I thought the clerk was going to go postal (pun fully intended).

When the man asking for the stamps finally went to the back of the line around the corner the clerk looks at me and goes, " That guys crazier than you think. I know him, he sells houses. You don't even know." Those three sentences left me dumbfounded. The origin of the argument left me dumbfounded.

If someone could please explain what makes a realtor crazy (outside of that whole subprime loan business) I would be much obliged. I am vexed... this is terribly vexing.

*dialog may not match actual conversation

Tuesday, December 4, 2007

The Love We Lost... Part Deux

Well, It looks like another Minnesota Star is leaving our sky. (Wow, that was cheesy)

It seems as if a deal for 2 time Cy Young Award Winner, Johan Santana, is now imminent. Multiple reports have surfaced in the last week and a half saying that the Twins and new GM Bill Smith are actively shopping the best pitcher in the game. The Yankees and Red Sox are at the forefront with the Dodgers, Angels, and Mariners said to be very interested as well. The deal now seems to be more not "if", but when at this point.

Boy, that sure happened fast...

Only a few short months ago, the sheer thought of trading Santana was blasphemy to any Twins fan and even the organization. But since then, Baseball's little devil child, known as free agency, has reared its ugly head once again, and now Johan has figured, why not me? Why not give me 150 million dollars? Hell, Barry Zito is mediocre and got 126 mill. And who could blame him? In this market, he is worth that much money.. The key words being "this market." Salaries have been ballooning out of control for years now, and it has finally bit your favorite squad in the ass not once, but twice in the span of a month. Mr. Twin, Torii Hunter was the first to go and now this. I have an idea. Why don't we eliminate all the teams not named Yankees, Red Sox, Angels, Mets, and Cubs, and just let them go at it. Thats basically what Major League Baseball is leaning towards. Boston got our Ortiz, the Angels got our Hunter, and now the Yankees or Red Sox will now probably get our Venezuelan Sensation. If you are a Twins fan, don't ever go out and buy a Twins Jersey of your favorite player or get attached to another player again, because chances are, they wont be here long enough for you to get your use of out it.

Now, I know that last blurb sounded very negative... And lets be honest, it was. But there also are some very nice positives to the apparent Twins overhaul this year. I think Bill Smith has figured out something that Terry Ryan just couldn't come to grasp over the years. The nature of the beast as it stands now is that before you lose these players for absolutely nothing to free agency, trade them before it gets to that point and get some young studs in return. We screwed the pooch on the Torii Hunter situation last season when we could have eased the blow by getting some great talent in return, possibly from the Angels, who signed him this offseason. This Johan deal, whether it turns out to be the Yanks or the Sawwx, will yield a great return of up and comers.

The Yanks are said to be offering a combination of prized right handed pitching prospect Phillip Hughes, Defensive Center Fielder extraordinaire Melky Cabrera, and some other minor league prospects. Hughes is going to be a stud that could anchor our rotation for years, and Cabrera is already a great fielder and has a high ceiling as a hitter. It would be nice if we could somehow finagle another right handed pitcher, Ian Kennedy from them as well, but that doesn't look like its going to happen.
The Red Sox are looking to obtain Santana as well. If they suceed, they might have assembled the best pitching staff ever, especially if they can keep Jon Lester in the process. I don't say that lightly either. I know you can't give someone the World Series in the offseason, but you add the best pitcher in the majors to the best pitching staff in the league, and they are as close to as you are going to get. The main cogs of the Red Sox offer are Jacoby Ellsbury and Lester, with the Red Sox currently only willing to include one of the two. The other bits that were offered include Coco Crisp and a bunch of supposedly good minor leaguers that no one has really heard of. Ellsbury is a stud. I don't think there is any doubt about that. He's got speed and gap power and in the MetroDome, thats a great thing. He reminds me of Grady Sizemore. Maybe even as dreamy.. Jon Lester scares me a bit. Even with as good a prospect as he might be, the whole cancer thing last year makes me wonder about possible health risks. I admit, that might seem insensitive, considering the ordeal that he went through last year, but I think that its a valid concern when you are thinking about the future of a franchise.

IF it were up to me, I go for the Yankees offer. Although Ellsbury would be nice, the Yankees are giving you the Center fielder that you need and the elite prospect that you need to get back in return for Johan.

After the Twins trade Santana, the last person to go will be Joe Nathan, and thats perfectly fine by me. That will make this process complete. For those of you that think that the cupboard is bare after this offseason, you are mistaken. Our pitching staff is somewhat in flux, but could be very good in about two years. With Fransico Liriano coming back, added to Hughes, Baker, Slowey, and hopefully a slimmed down Boof, this is a rotation I willing to run with. With Neshek moving into the Closer's role, our bullpen might be a little thin, but thats always seemed to be a strength for the Twins. We have actually upgraded the lineup to include possible Star Delmon Young, Cabrera, and Craig Monroe to go with a decent lineup already. There are some question marks with this team, but before anyone jumps off a bridge,(ok, wrong choice of words) they hopefully will take a step back and look at the big picture. These young players, along with the money saved, could help give us some hope for the future. This is something that Twins fans are desperately yearning for after a very curious offseason so far.

I think we deserve that much.

Monday, November 26, 2007

Notes From the Foreskin

Sundays during football season are some of the best days of the year. These are days that men can usually take a "mental break" from the other things that may otherwise cloud their mind. Women, Jobs, Kids, Hemorrhoids, Women, etc...

I never really get to enjoy these "breaks" like I would like to because I usually work every Sunday during the day. This Sunday was an exception. I caught much of the noon games at a casino in Southern Iowa and caught most of the other action on a beautiful invention known as Sirius Satellite Radio. I took a couple things from this weekend(and Monday....and Thursday)....

We'll start with something that happened late Sunday night. Word came out late that Sean Taylor, safety for the Washington Redskins, was shot in his home in Florida. As I write this, Taylor is still in critical condition and the doctors are telling people to "pray for a miracle." Never a good thing. In the initial report, Taylor was awoken late Sunday when he heard noises downstairs. He got up and grabbed a machete that he keeps near his bed for protection. He was fired at twice, with one bullet connecting. Now, I don't know about you but I gotta respect a man who wields a machete for protection. Whether you like Sean Taylor or not, this is pretty sad news. Drafted out of "The U" in 2004, Taylor had become one of the NFL's premier talents and one of it's hardest hitters. Along with rookie Laron Landry, Taylor helped form the best safety tandem in the league. I won't lie and say that I've watched a great deal of his games, but from the games that I have seen, I've noticed that viewers are only a minute away from seeing a vicious, and yes, sometimes somewhat illegal hit that can bring people to their feet. He would hit you like you stole something... Literally. He was involved in a incident last year in which he was accused of pistol whipping a guy who was thought to have stolen Taylor's all-terrain vehicles.
Anyways, I hope for his sake, as well as his family's, that he makes it through this.

The Vikings game was odd in many ways. First was Tavaris Jackson tossing a 60 yard touchdown pass on the second play of the game. Yes, I said Tavaris Jackson. Second was Eli Manning throwing 4 interceptions to one of the worst pass defenses in the game. Third was that almost every pass the Vikings picked off they proceeded to bring back for a score of their own. The Vikings are the hardest team to figure out. Their play varies so much from week to week. One week they look like they can't do anything and the next week they are breaking all sorts of records. I really think this team is a quarterback away from being pretty damn good.

The rest of the league was screwed up as well. This was the week of the backup running back. Chester Taylor did his thing again, but he was also joined this week by a couple back ups and third string guys. Names like Andre Hall, Justin Fargas, Kolby Smith, and Adrian Peterson(no, not that one) combined to rush for about 440 yards and 5 touchdowns. If you haven't heard of these guys before, you aren't alone. Look for another no name to have a decent week t
his week. Cecil Sapp is the 5th string running back who might start for the Denver Broncos, who take on the Oakland Raiders and their horrid run defense.

Thanksgiving Day brought us a trio of boring games. The Cowboys and Packers both rolled to victories, setting up a Thursday night showdown this week that will probably determine home field advantage throughout the NFC playoffs. This is especially important considering that Green Bay in January is not fun weather to play in. Lets hope this game lives up to the hype that the Colts-Patriots game failed to.

Did anyone see that the Eagles were 24.5 point underdogs to the Patriots on Sunday night?? That is the biggest spread ever for an NFL game. I happened to not see it beforehand, but if I did, I would have put my left nut on the line that the Eagles would cover that spread. The Eagles are bad, but not even close to that bad. I'm sure they felt disrespected and overlooked and for that reason they gave the Pats the best game they will probably get all season. NO team deserves to be more than a 17 point underdog in any NFL game. Even the 0-11 Dolphins...

Speaking of the Dolphins. The Monday Night Game brought us another lovely matchup with the Steelers and the aforementioned winless Miami Dolphins. This is now the 4th straight horrible game that the folks at MNF have shown us. And you can't count the Pats scoring 56 points against a really over matched Bills team. This weeks game was the lowest scoring game in the NFL this year, as the Steelers won a WILD one 3-0. It was scoreless until the last 20 seconds. This wasn't your hard hitting defensive struggle 3-0 game that could be fun to watch. It was a sloppy mess of bad play and even worse play. One sequence stuck out from the game. The Dolphins were driving late in the 3rd quarter and lined up for a field goal. A delay of game penalty backed them up 5 yards. Now instead of taking another crack at a field goal which would have possibly put his winless team in position to finally win, Dolphins coach Cam Cameron decided to let his rookie quarterback, in his second start ever, try to convert a 4th and 11 when the team hadn't done anything right all night long. The ensuing play resulted in a breakdown by the line and a sack. Good call, bud. Thats why your team is 0-11. Almost as good a decision as drafting Ted Ginn Jr.

This week was another zany one in the NFL. I'm starting to think that the Patriots are the only sure thing and that anything goes for the rest of the league. Stay Tuned..

Thursday, November 15, 2007

Ladies and Gentlemen... Dave Chappelle

"You know what? I say a lot of racist jokes, and my mouth says a lot of racist things but my penis is a humanitarian."

I found this clip of some new Dave Chappelle stand up on and felt the need to share it with the world. I guess his crazy pills have kicked in and he's made his way from Africa to London. Hopefully he'll be touring the U.S. with some new material shortly because he is greatly missed.

P.S. Carlos Mencia sucks

Monday, November 12, 2007

This Right Here is Where The Season Broke Down...

...tore if you will. I keep on hearing that this isn't a bad ligament tear, but anytime I think about a running back's knee and the flexible fibrous tissue that holds it together not being 100% I can't help but think of the pain I've gotten from accidentally snapping a rubber band and imagined what it felt like for the band. What in the hell am supposed to watch with Purple Jesus sidelined? I'll give Chester one game to impress me and I swear to god if the start Purple Judas at Quarterback I'm turning it to "Meet the Press" and lord knows I want no part of that.

Oh Well, at least we didn't get shut out by the Packers for the first time in series history.

Thursday, November 8, 2007

If you don't mind

Iowa will be taking back the Floyd this season.

Tuesday, November 6, 2007

No Wonder Steve Phillips Doesn't Have a Job Anymore..

Who is this broad? I haven't the slightest clue, but let me tell ya, it wouldn't be the worst mistake Steve Phillips has made. It is pretty bad, mind you, but even ugly chicks need love too. Cheer up, Steve... You can always turn off the lights.

Now, I watch Sportscenter quite a bit. Probably too much actually. In watching Sportscenter over the past couple years, I have seen numerous baseball segments involving "Expert" Steve Phillips, former GM of the New York Mets and current baseball analyst for ESPN. To date, I don't think that one of his predictions, or one bit of advice for other clubs has come to fruition. In trying to sift through the numerous World Series predictions gone wrong to all the brutal trade scenarios, I could never really recall a certain incident that stuck out in my mind though... until tonight.

Sportscenter was showing a story on the new manager of the Los Angeles Dodgers, Joe Torre. Afterwards, they tried to chronicle how the mediocre Dodgers could become contenders in the National League next year. Of course, they went to the Guru Phillips. In really breaking down the situation, Phillips went on to state that all the Dodgers needed to do was to target three positions. Third base, Centerfield, and improve Starting Pitching. Seems simple enough. Sounds like what 90% of baseball needs to do. Then, he went on to say that the Dodgers need to get either Miguel Cabrera or Alex Rodriguez to fill the 3rd base slot, Andrew Jones or Torii Hunter to fill Center field, and then trade for the best pitcher in baseball in Johan Santana to cure the starting pitching. That would make the Dodgers World Series contenders. Thanks Steve. How about we get a donkey, a goat, a 17 year old prostitute, and a one armed midget to go along with it..

This guy is an "Expert?!?" That was one of the stupidest things I have ever heard aired on live television. Even Kenny Mayne poked fun at his fellow colleague afterwards, saying, "That's Steve employing the unlimited payroll rule."

At first I am floored, but then after a quick search to find some out some other things about Mr. Phillips, the situation makes more sense to me. This is the same guy that has traded away the likes of AJ Burnett and Jason Isringhausen, and probably had something to do with the Victor Zambrano for Scott Kazmir trade to Tampa Bay. I also found out that he was trying to trade a couple "Single A" players for the likes of Jose Cruz Jr. and an over-the-hill Roberto Alomar. Those two "A" players? A couple of guys you might know. Jose Reyes and David Wright. This guy is an idiot and needs to removed from television, STAT. I don't really know what that means, but I think it means "fast." I don't know how he got the Mets GM job way back when, and frankly, I don't care, but what I do know now is why he doesn't have the job anymore.

ESPN does its best to annoy everyone watching by constantly beating stories into submission and concentrating about 80 % of their airtime on about 6 professional teams. I can handle all that. I've learned to deal with it. But please, get this clown off the screen.

I can't afford to get any dumber...

Sunday, November 4, 2007

This Kid Looks Hungry Too

...For Yards! Purple Jesus done done it again setting a record for most yards in a game with 296. Wanna know whose going to break that record? Adrian Peterson... Kid is a freaking rookie, he's got time to improve his game. Purple Jesus is crazy ridiculous. Nobody can touch him, and if they do he just knocks them over and keeps on going. Somebody should figure out how many yards he averages after first contact cause I'm willing to bet it better than a lot of starting running backs regular average per carry. Oh yeah, and his line did a great job. Especially that right side that gets so much flack, Ryan Cook and Anthony Herrera. I kind of think the key to the line was starting Herrera.

As for the rest of the team stuff went well. Tarvaris Jackson got injured again... If Adrian Peterson is Purple Jesus Tarvaris Jackson has to be Purple Judas. I know that early in the season I was pulling for Jackson and calling for Bollinger to be cut, but Jackson has proven nothing but the fact that he holds the ball too long, passes the ball too far away from the receivers and his bones are made of china. Bollinger hasn't done too much but he was 7/10 for 95 yards, 40 of which went to Sidney Rice for a TD.

The D-Line held LT to 40 yards. An amazing feat considering he is the best back in the league not wearing purple. Ray Edwards had a great game on the outside of the line. The secondary did a great job, too. Antonio Gates didn't exist, yet another amazing feat. The third amazing feat was that the secondary held their own with a combined 5 years of experience at corner. Cedric Griffin is a solid second year guy, Marcus McCauley is a rookie who has been targeted for much of the year and Charles Gordon got an interception.

The only thing I was not happy about was Chilli's field goal attempt at the end of the half. We had a tie game and were out of Longwell's range. That could have killed us. Last year that would have killed us. I still have no faith in Childress. Its just too easy to call a run play for number 28 and get an automatic first down. If Childress wants my vote of confidence he needs to show me something like a comeback win that takes an air attack.

I didn't think Peterson would have a better game than the one against the Bears this year, but I was pleasantly surprised. Hopefully we can do the same against the Pack next week.

P.S. we scored more than 24 points.

Friday, November 2, 2007

This Kid Looks Hungry

Lets feed him. Seriously.

I was searching the internets today after work when I came across With Leather's power rankings (I just wanted to see a picture of Scarlett Johanson) when I found their link to This is super cool... All you do is choose the best definition for the word and the UN (and the multinational corperations whose logos appear on the bottom of each screen) will donate 10 grains of rice towards world hunger. I got to vocab level 30 before I decided to share this with you and aside from the fact that the rice I won was probably big enough to give that little guy up there a malnourished baby sized portion of a meal some of the words started getting tough to define. Kids studying for the SATs, ACTs and maybe even the GRE could learn a thing or two while feeding the kids.

Since October 7th people playing the game have donated 589,305,670 grains of rice to those in need. Crazy. And its kind of fun.I need to start one of these where every time someone solves a math equation I get a penny. Maybe not math... people hate that shit.

Monday, October 29, 2007

Lunch Break: Boston Cream Pie edition

Boston, Boston, Boston. The Sawx are 8-0 in World Series games under Francona, The Pats are destroying teams and helping me out in fantasy (Thank you Mr. Brady) and The Celtics are about to open the season with possibly the best trio of all-star players ever assembled in history and with the man who has lead my team since I was in grade school. Oh yeah, and Boston College is still ranked #2 in the BCS.
Minnesota? We’re gonna lose Torri Hunter. Our football team has the most explosive back to hit the league running since LT, but no semblance of a passing game. Our basketball team is going to wreak (but we do have talent and draftpicks). Hell our college football team can’t even beat a team from North Dakota. At least our Hockey team is better than anything in Boston.

Kevin Garnett talks to Dime Magazine about his friendships in the association.

Glen Taylor gives two goll-darn interviews where he talks doody about anyone and everyone who is no longer with the team.

The Wolves have decided to pay Juwan Howard not to play for the team. (and probably end up as a member of the Celtics)

Do not hunt with this man and his dog.

Marrisa Miller has her own Fathead… which makes way more sense than an athelete.

UND is gonna get all PC, and still probably pound the Gophers for the next 10 years.

A-Rod won’t be playing for the Yankees, and Peter Gammons calls him out on his impeccable timing.

The Twins pick up Joe Nathan's option. Totally unexpected, totally.

FreeDarko (probably the best Basketball blog ever) predicts what every single NBA player will do this season. I wish that I’d had time to put up the Wolves roster because they are killer and spot on.

Holy Crap the Hawks won.

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Ricky Buckets, Largest Small Forward in the League No Longer Have to Play on our Shitty Team

It looks like the Wolves traded Ricky Davis and Mark Blount to the Miami Heat today. In return we'll get Antoine Walker, Micheal Doleac and Wayne Simien, but don't worry because Doleac and Simien have expiring contracts. According to ESPN we also get a future first rounder. For those of you keeping track at home that's some good shit... 3 expiring contracts next year, 3 1st round draft picks, one less year on Walker's contract than Blount's and a bunch of young kids with promise down the road. As far as the 1st round draft picks go I'm not sure what year the Heat's will be and technically one of the Celtic's picks was originally ours.

With Blount and Buckets gone I think the team will put up more assists, grab more boards and have a higher 3pt percentage. That won't translate into more wins this year, but hopefully this sort of play will become a theme of the new look Wolves. I think it will also help with team chemistry... I don't know for a fact that Ricky Davis has a bad attitude but I always sort of got that feeling and I heard that Blount and Big Al have had something going ever since their days in green.
For those of you who don't know Doleac is a Center who averages 3.4 rebs and 5 points. Simien is a forward who averages 2.9pts and 1.4 rebs. Antoine Walker's production has been steadily decreasing over the years, but that will probably pick up a bit on a team full of kids. Last year he averaged 8.5 pts and 4.3 rebs but his career average is 18 pts almost 8 rebounds and 3.7 assists. I don't know what this will do to the roster seeing as we already have too many players. This most likely makes Rashad McCants our starting Shooting guard and moves Chris Richards up in the depth chart.

If I were McHale my first move would be to buy out Simien's contact, which is just a shade under a million. My second move would be to sign the shit out of Al Jefferson... Lock that kid up, but in a non franchise crippling way. My third move would be to trade that gimpy Mark Madsen back to the Lakers for a hot Cheerleader. I don't like when my cheerleaders are 6-9, 250 lbs and have a set of balls.
I'm so excited for basketball to begin. Seriously. The Wolves may suck, but there is finally a good reason for it. We'll get to see some really talented kids lose on an almost daily basis and all of that yummy cap space we've been piling up over the summer will allow us pick and choose who we want to keep on our team and who we want to try and lure into the snow.

If you want more literature on the trade go here, she finds it all.

Sunday, October 21, 2007

A must watch

That could be the goal of the year, from Calder Memorial Trophy winner Johnathan Toews.

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Dat Dino is Gangsta!

Barney is definitely better at this dance than Jerry Rice. I think my favorite part is the little Asian kid.


Monday, October 15, 2007

All Praise Purple Jesus

This is what I worship every Sunday. There are Six GMs banging their heads against the wall after seeing Adrian Peterson destroy one of the best defenses in the NFL. I can also think of one head coach and one starting quarterback that should bow down and thank Peterson for taking the pressure off and most likely A) prolonging Childress' head coaching career for at least a little while longer and B) allowing Jackson to develop into a starting quarterback while actually playing starting quarterback. Without Peterson, Childress may not have made it past this season with this organization and Jackson would have been given up on when the lack of offense is not entirely his fault. (I haven't even heard anyone say anything about Jackson's 9-23 day or the fact that 60 of his 139 passing yards came on one play)

I know it was only one game and the Vikings could revert to the team that we've had to endure for the last 20+ games but I really don't think that's going to happen. This team might not make the playoffs but I think they'll at least be playing for a chance at the end of the year. Before the season began I figured the team would win 4 games. We may be two and three, but we've outscored the opponent 101-90 and have never lost a game by more than a TD.

I told you... I told you that all the team needs is 24 points to win. They got 34 points. Peterson scored 18 of those by himself (with a couple blocks here and there)and is the only reason Longwell has a new career high. The former Sooner and current Bad Ass had 224 yards on the ground and 128 returning kicks. I still don't like him returning kicks. Don't get me wrong, I loved him returning the last kick and Childress made the right decision but that is the only scenario where Peterson should be returning kicks.

Even the game plan was better this week. The passing game may not have worked so well but we stretched the field early and on more than one occasion, though it only actually worked once (Thanks for finally using that glue I sent you Stonehands). The team also tried play action a couple of times. Its too bad we can't get 200 yards out of Peterson every game to allow the passing game more time get itself together. I'd still like Sidney Rice to get more looks... he only had one catch, but he laid out for it and fortified my feeling that he'll be a great receiver one day. He probably could have gotten more looks if the team made it into the redzone, but when the other team can't make it there either its not so scary to think about.

The defense did a good job for the first three quarters. Outside of Winfield falling down (which sucks, but I'm not about to complain about our best Corner and one of the hardest hitters in the NFL) the Vikings shut the bears down. The fourth quarter was a different story... I think the D hit the locker room as soon as Dwight Smith got his INT and forgot to look at the clock. This includes Smith who got a great view of Devin Hester's second TD of the day. Marcus McCauly missed a sure INT that would have saved me that anxious feeling you get when the Vikings take a game with a lead of 7 or less into its final minutes. I'd also like some more sacks.

I almost forgot... E.J. Henderson is the shit and crushed that fullback to end the half. Now go watch Osi Umenyiora and Michael Strahan rip Joey's limbs off

Thursday, October 11, 2007


Even though I had stopped writing for so long, I have by no means slowed down on what I read on the intertubes. So here is a little taste of a few things I have found interesting lately in a NLCS Dinner Break.

-We're really going to miss Trenton Hassell, this season. Freedarko has a great profile of him.

-Michael Russo, over at the Star Tribune rips apart the "Demitra is unhappy" rumors running around the NHL. If you're not reading Russo's Rants, you are really missing out. He has been around the NHL since 1995 and is extremely connected to what's going on in the league. It's worth the daily stop for the 1.5 posts per day. He also had some great stats about Nik and my favorite Wild player Brent Burns today:

Here are some great Nik Backstrom stats dug up today by the Wild:– Nik Backstrom is 24-1-2 when leading at any point in a game — lone regulation loss coming Feb. 6 vs. Dallas when he led 2-0 and lost 4-2.

– Backstrom is 16-0-0 when leading after two periods.

– Since officially taking over starting role Feb. 1 for Fernandez, Backstrom ranks first in the NHL in wins (21-3-3), first in shutouts (six), first in goals against average (1.80), first in save percentage (.933) and second in win percentage (.833).

– He’s 22-3-3 in his last 28 decisions.

– He’s 13-0-1 in his last 14 decisions since March 6.

– Has allowed two goals or less in 15 straight regular-season starts.

On Brent Burns, he leads all NHL defensemen in goals since March 11 (six). He has four winning goals in that span, tied for the league lead among forwards and defensemen (Milan Michalek and Mike Comrie).

-The Wild are fast.

-Over at Black Hearts Gold Pants, they have this list, it's a bad list, a very bad list.

-INCH (INside College Hockey) has their pre-season All-Americans up, and they have 3 kids from UND on the 1st team. I wonder if that's a good or bad sign for them.

F - Nathan Davis - Miami
F - Ryan Duncan - North Dakota
F - T.J. Oshie - North Dakota
D - Taylor Chorney - North Dakota
D - Matt Gilroy - Boston University
G - Jeff Lerg - Michigan State

The first and only Gopher on the list is Kyle Okposo, who is on the 3rd team. I expect him to finish higher on this list at the end of the season, the kid is too strong and talented not to.

-My brother who lives in Tempe, AZ and attends ASU is a bum and won't be attending the NLCS game tonight. He had some lame excuse about a test tomorrow, blah blah blah and that is a poor excuse because the game starts at 5pm local time down there. There is no way you can tell me that he won't have enough time to study. On top of this, if you went to today tickets for said game started at $5. People in Arizona are lame. For a little reference, tickets for Friday's ALCS game in Boston on stubhub start at $170.

-One of my favorite bands Meriwether is making their Debut in Minneapolis next Wednesday, at the Varsity Theater. If anyone has time, check them out, they're a fun southern rock band.

-Carrot Top, no that's not his name, sorry it's Bobby Kielty will be starting for the Red Sox friday. I wonder how many ex-Twins have played so far in this years playoffs. We all know Kyle "grand slam" Lohse did.



I had to come back after all that, cause I have found something great, hat tip to The National Anthem Before a Cubs Game. Like Jon said, I hope this is one of many.

Things that Suck

In honor of Bez's Michael Jordanesk return to the Blog, I have come up with a couple things, not that make me happy, but that really make me upset. Not in a "throw things against the wall" way, but in a "shake my head in your general direction" type of way. Here goes...

Kids on Leashes

Whoever came up with this has got to be the dumbest Mo Fo out there. I'm aware that these have been around a while, but I saw them for the first time this summer at the Minnesota State Fair. I tell ya, it blew my damn mind.. Listen, for all those who are confused, Kids are not Animals! Is it that hard for your lazy ass to walk hand and hand with your child. If you can't pay enough attention to them to keep an eye on them, don't bring them with. Its that simple. Having your kid on a leash since birth is the stuff Mental Hospitals are made of. These are probably the kids that are gonna grow up and pull a Columbine on us. Do the rest of us a favor and stop being an idiot.

Stewart Scott's "Spoken Word" Poetry on Sportscenter

Last night on Sportscenter, Stew broke down the Celtics-Timberwolves highlight by doing a very poor impression of Mos Def or Maya Angelo. I tried to follow some of it, but then, when it didn't rhyme or sound good, it lost me. I know SC is trying to mix things up and not give us the same show every night, and thats all well and good, but please put a stop to this madness. We get it, Stew's black. You don't have to do your best to remind us every night. I want to hear the sports and see the highlights. You have done an excellent job for almost 30 years. Just keep it simple, stupid. I'll take your "Bou-Ya"s and "Cool as the other side of the pillow" lines, and I'm not standing for anymore of this..

MLB Free Agency

This is further proof why the Twins will always be mediocre. There's no stopping it. When you hear that Carlos Silva and Kyle Louse are going to be commanding big contracts this year, the world has officially ended. The free agent market keeps getting crazier and crazier, and when our favorite club refuses to catch up with the times, it seals its own fate. I read somewhere that if ARod opts out of his contract, his agent, Scott Boras, hopes to command somewhere in the neighborhood of 500 million for his next contract. At first, it blew my mind, but then I realized, this is what we have come to. When does it stop? Teams can build all they want through the minor leagues, but its only short lived. When their young studs hit free agency, its over, because only a few clubs out there can afford them, or are willing to spend the money to keep them. Parity is what makes the NFL so great. Free Agency in Major league Baseball with no Salary Cap will make damn sure that "parity" isn't ever even mentioned in the same sentence.

NFL "Timeout Rule"

It was clever the first time someone did it. It was crafty the next time someone did it. Now, its become downright bad for the game. You know the rule, team lines up for Field Goal. Right before the snap, other team calls a timeout at the very second before the team gets the play off, effectively ruining what might be a game-winning, tear jerking moment. Its happened to the Raiders, the Browns, the Auburn Tigers, and this past Monday night to the Dallas Cowboys. Sometimes it works out the same way, as the team still makes the kick. But other times, the team misses on the second try.. I know that the object of the game is to win, but not like that. I think this rule will be short lived as there is already talks in place to change it starting next year. And good riddance, although this wont be the last time we see this this year.

Combo Platter: Sunglasses indoors/ Popped Collars

You know who you are. If you wear sunglasses when its 40 degrees, cloudy, and raining. If you popped your polo shirt collar in any weather. You are what we in the "biz" like to refer to as a DBAG. You aren't Tom Cruise or Puffy. Even though you do some drugs, you aren't Lindsey Lohan. You're Joe Smo. You don't look good. You look like a moron. Its not a fashion statement when people know you are doing for that reason. There is a kid in one of my classes that commits both these fashion faux pas at once.. It takes every ounce of me, not to beat him. Enough said.

Runner up: Men wearing Pink, Dog Purses, Trucker Hats

Kevin Garnett in a Celtics' Uniform.

Not Cool. Big time Suck. Tear.

Skip Bayless, ESPN's "1st and 10" show

It happened a couple years back, with the emergence of shows like "PTI" and "Around the Horn," long time sports writers being thrust into the limelight of television. These writers, working mostly behind the scenes for their entire careers, are now household names. Most of them are knowledgeable and some are even humorous at times. But one thing they all have in common is that they are all old. No where on any of these shows do you see a young, upbeat sports writer come on to discuss sports, with the exception of maybe Michael Smith. For the most part its crotchety old men. None of which is more so then Skip Bayless. I get annoyed hearing this guy talk, let alone actually listening to what he has to say. Sometimes I think he just says things for the shock value of it all, and not because he has a real opinion on something. He is the epitome of what is wrong with these shows. That someone like this clown is famous. And he is suddenly everywhere. He is a regular on the aforementioned "1st and 10" as well as being a guest on recent Sportcenters and on talk radio stations. For the love of god, get this grumpy, old, stuck in the 70's man off the screen, and back where he belongs. Writing in boring newspapers. And dump that show, nobody watches it and its horrible.

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

KG Looks Weird in Green

I couldn't find any video of the game that took place between our Timber Wolves and The Boston Celtics but here is a highlight of the Celtics first game featuring the "Big Three"... individually known as Kevin Garnett, Paul Pierce and Ray Allen.

Ray Allen did most of the scoring (28 Pts). My Favorite Timberwolf (I will continue to call him this regardless of jersey) had 9pts, 6 rebs,2asts, 3 blocks. Ricky Davis was the high scorer for the T-wolves which angers me as he is probably my least favorite player on a team full of players that I don't even know.

The former Celtics did ok; Bassy had 9pts and 3 asts, Ratlif had 6pts and 2 blocks,Gomes had 9pts and 4 rebs, Green had 4 pts and the most interesting piece we got in return had 5 pts, 2 blocks and 6 rebs in the 92-81 loss in London.

Rashad McCants had 11 points and 4 rebounds which hopefully means that his knees are back at 100%. Randy Foye, however, had no points in 8 minutes. Hopefully they just wanted to start figuring out the backup PG position and he isn't injured.

Get ready for a lot of losses this year. Hopefully this team can still put an exciting product on the court.

P.S. I'm going to miss Trenton Hassell.

Tuesday, October 9, 2007

Blog, I forgot all about you

I'm sorry I have been gone for so long. You have been neglected. It's just that things haven't gone well in my sports universe lately. It has been hard, Iowa football sucks (some may say they always have (I won't be one of them)), The Twins sucked the season away, not that I care, but the Vikings blow (actually that's funny), and The Wild are just getting going (they got some help from drunk me, and friends Saturday).

I know I have made promises before to come back more often, and that usually is short lived, so this time I'm not making any promises, but I will try. I may need some motivations so here are a list of things a few things that make me happy:

  1. The Yankee's season was only 4 games longer then the Twins. Go Indians.
  2. I don't live in Chicago, suck it Bears, bring back Rexy already.
  3. Ozzie Guillen will back next year.
  4. Lists.
  5. The Wild.
  6. The NBA is back soon, which seems to give me plenty to write about.
That was short and sweet.

Anyway, If one doesn't work tomorrow afternoon, I suggest in tuning into ESPN2. Timberwolves vs Celtics in preseason play from Italy.

Thursday, October 4, 2007

Slowly I gain respect for Visanthe Shaincoe

Did you guys see this? First our tight end begins to catch a few passes here and there when nobody else seems to be able to and then I find out he has a sense of humor. Maybe next we'll find out his goal after football is to become an offensive coordinator and he draws up some useful plays for this season.

Who am I kidding? The catches and a half a chuckle are more than I ever expected.

I hope Brad Childress chokes on his own Mustache.

Monday, October 1, 2007

We’ve been duped… Bamboozled!

We’ve been sold expensive diet water. Brad Childress came to Minnesota under the guise of an offensive guru. I’ve watched 20 games led by the ‘stache and I can’t think of a single offensive outburst. How many times in the last 20 games do you think we’ve scored 24 points or more? 5… Brad Childress’ “Kick-Ass Offence” scores 24 or more points 25 percent of the time. We’re 5 for 5 in those games but first we have to get to 24. That’s 3 TDs and a field goal… not too much to ask considering the defense provides one of those touchdowns on a regular basis and tends to put the offense in good position to score most of the time.

Did you know that Visanthe Shaincoe was the leading receiver versus the Chiefs? When the tight end leads all receivers that is a bad sign. That is a combination of checkdowns and a leader who refuses to take chances. Childress’ offense is horrible, no matter what quarterback he puts out there they end up looking like Linus from peanuts sucking their thumb and grasping onto their blanket for dear life. That card he holds over his face during a game is actually only empty tick-tack-toe boards which he and Darrell Bevell fill out during the game

The team seems afraid to commit to Tarvaris Jackson and I wonder how bad his injury really is. Jackson and those receivers had better lock themselves away in the confines of Winter park and develop some sort of rapport. My suggestion is that Jackson focus on Bobby Wade and Sidney Rice. If Jackson and those receivers run routes until they’ve burned a path in the turf (ala Peyton and his guys) they might be able to find each other on game day. I don’t want to see Kelly Holcolm any more this year barring an injury… let Jackson throw his interceptions, take his hits and lose some games because he will be better for it.

I faintly remember a Vikings team that stretched the field a few years back. I know that team had Randy Moss and Daunte Culpepper, but you don’t need players of that caliber in order to stretch the field. I saw Dwayne Bowe and Damon Huard do it just the other week. I doesn’t take pro-bowl players, it takes a game plan and, maybe even more important, a willingness to deviate from the game plan when it falls apart. Look, I’m not being a delusional Homer here, I know that my team is bad but these last three losses don’t feel like they were inevitable. In each one you can point to one or two things that could have led to a win had they gone differently.

If the run game works why doesn’t the play action? If Adrian Peterson AKA Purple Jesus goes off for 100 yards in the first half why give him two carries in the second… and if you think he’s fragile because of the collarbone then why in the hell is he returning kicks? Are you going to throw to a gamecock? Why not Sidney Rice? He seems pretty good at an endzone jump ball and if I remember correctly that was his bread and butter in South Carolina.

I’ve got a great idea for you- lets put Troy Williamson at Cornerback… that way we won’t get burned by whoever Cedric Griffin is covering and it a plus when Williamson catches the ball instead of a prayer answered. Any one of these suggestions would be helpful if it were not for Childress. Childress is Mchale’s love of Boston and inking big deals for mediocre players. Childress is Carl Pohlad’s billions of dollars never to be spent on the Twins. In a nutshell Childress is Minnesota sports. Expect him to be around for far too long.

Sunday, September 30, 2007

Is this a Great Game or What?

After months and months of waiting, we have finally come back to the start of the best time of the year for sports fans. Its a period of time every year starting from the start of Football season to the end of football season, culminating with the Super Bowl in early February. During this wonderful time, we see the start of football season, both college and pro, the start of basketball season, both college and pro, and the end of a 7 month long baseball season. Baseball's postseason is by far the best of all the four major sports. Every pitch means so much, coaching really shows up, and runs are at a premium. Not to mention that stadiums get uber crazy. Usually there are a few meaningful games come the last weekend of the regular season, but for the most part, the playoff spots are already filled or just a mere formality. Again, I emphasize, usually.

This year.... not so much. Coming into the last weekend, there were about 9 teams still alive for playoff spots, mostly all of them residing in the National League. I've never really been a baseball buff in the past, mainly because I would get bored during the doldrums of summer, when it seems that the season will never end. Again, this year was different. I've become more of a fan now than ever before. I never thought in a million years, I would be glued to the TV, watching a Padres/Brewers game on ESPN, hanging on every at bat. The end of this season has been the by far the craziest I've ever seen. Let me take a moment and try to break it down the best I can from my perspective. This season has seen everything. From a complete and utterly unfathomable collapse, to some teams left for dead showing everyone that they are very much alive.

In an earlier post, I said "That thud you hear is Rick Ankiel." I must apologize. I was very wrong on that one. That thud you hear is the New York Mets. If you realize what has happened to this team in the last month, you have to stand in amazement. Leading the NL East by a seemingly insurmountable 7 games in mid September, the Mets slowly dribbled it down their leg. With every loss to teams that had nothing to play for, the Mets showed us new ways to lose baseball games. They built 5+ run leads, only to have a Guillermo Mota led bullpen blow up in front of their eyes. They lost to teams that were eliminated from playoff contention in spring training. They had people who were brought in to prevent these kind of things from happening, namely Billy Wagner, blow lead after lead in uncharacteristic fashion after being solid all year. As much as I like this team and the players on it, I couldn't help but smile at the magnitude of that collapse. With the loss on the last day of season to the Florida Marlins, in which stallwart Tom Glavine gave up 7 earned runs in 1/3 of an inning, the boys from Flushing completed their fall and lost the division to their rivals, the Philadelphia Phillies. Twins fans know this situation all too well. This sounds like the Detroit Tigers team losing a 13 game lead last year to the benefit of our favorite club. The only difference was, those Tigers still made the playoffs, these Mets will not.

The Phillies, along with the Colorado Rockies, were the aforementioned teams left for dead earlier this season. These two clubs, although alot alike, went about their comebacks in different ways. The Phils kept coming all year. They weathered many key injuries and somehow kept their head above water, until their steady pace caught up with the tanking Mets. They are one of the most exciting teams to watch in the league. From the top of the order to the bottom, these Phils have people that will make you sit on the edge of your seat every time they step to the plate. Whether its Jimmy Rollins leading off with his unique combination of speed and power, or Ryan Howard abusing baseballs into the upper deck on a regular basis, these Phils always keep things interesting. Not to mention that Chase Utley may be one of the purest hitters that there is in the league. This team has style, and swagger, and damn, are they easy to like...

The Rockies however, chose a different route to a possible postseason appearance. They just chose to win almost every game since mid September. The Rockies took 13 of their last 14 games including a franchise-record 11 straight, finishing like gang busters to force a one-game playoff for the NL wild card with the (yawn) San Diego Padres. These aren't your cool older brother's Colorado Rockies either. These Rockies do it with both hitting AND pitching. With players that most people have never heard of, they have surprised everyone by winning in the rarefied air of Colorado. Although, you may have no clue who these players are yet, it won't be long until you do. Led not the Killer "B"s, of Houston Astros fame, but the Killer "H"s of Todd Helton, Brad Hawpe, and the possible MVP of the league Matt Holliday, these Rockies can really do damage to any pitching staff. They all can hit for average. They all can hit for power. Its really, really scary actually.

The best thing about these teams, and the reason that you can feel really good rooting for them, is that they were both built through the Minor Leagues, not some flash in the pan, big free agent signing. No one would come to Colorado to pitch, causing them to vastly overpay for very sub par pitchers like Denny Naegle and Mike Hampton. When that didn't work, they just developed their own pitchers. No one wanted to pitch in Philly either, so they developed one of the best young left handers in the league in Cole Hamels. Even their Murderer's Row lineups were built through the Minor Leagues, proving to Twins fans that maybe there is hope after all.

The greatest thing of all though, is that if the Rockies win their one game playoff on Monday, these two teams will play each other in a first round best-of-five series. I'm already smiling about that prospect.

Baseball's postseason this year has so many stories to watch. So many players to watch. With every new series, there will be more intriguing things to watch then the series before it. You need to tune in. Trust me, you won't regret it.

I'd like you to meet my new love. Major League Baseball.

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Bring in the Horns

From now on I will blame any and every Vikings loss on this song. No matter if they deserved to lose or not.

I bet Troy Hudson had something to do with this.

Thursday, September 13, 2007

How to Save a Life... and Then Kill a Career

Okay, that may be a bit over the top. Okay, so its a lot over the top.

Its almost never heard of. Babe Ruth was the only one who did it sucessfully. Go from Pitcher to Position Player. The story itself is just plain amazing. Major League Baseball's best pitching prospect. The world at his finger tips. Then suddenly, to the bewilderment of everyone, he loses it. And not only does he lose it, but he loses it in the playoffs, on national television, when his Cardinal teammates are counting on him the most. In one brutal series of events, he goes from King to Goat, including a major league record for wild pitches in one inning with 5. And these pitches aren't just wild, they would make Yao Ming duck for cover. Then he seemingly falls off the face of the earth, only to emerge again with one main difference, hes holding a bat instead of holding a ball. Hes become an outfielder, and a damn good one at that. He makes his way back through the Cardinals farm system, and because of a couple unfortunate injuries, lands on the big stage once again. That in itself has got to be the story of the year. But it gets better. First game back, he hits a home run in front of a ruckus home crowd. Now thats the stuff that dreams are made of.

Unless you have been living in a cave for the past 3 months, you know this is the story of Rick Ankiel, The St. Louis Cardinals newest right fielder. This guy has all the tools. A powerful bat. A rocket arm(he was a pitcher, for shit's sake). He can probably run well. And he could probably name all the capitol cities of the US. This guy is that good. Some people went so far as to call him, "The Natural", referencing the popular 1984 Robert Redford movie. And who could argue? Through his first 22 games in the Big Leagues(the 2nd time), Ankiel had been abusing opposing pitchers to the tune of a .358 average, 9 Home runs, 29 RBI, and 22 Runs. That is the definition of abuse. Not to mention that he had provided the Cardinals with the "pep" in their step that they had so desperately needed to propel them back into the race in the National League Central.


But, as we've learned before, all good things must come to an end. Some people cant just leave well enough alone. There will always be people out there, for whatever reason, that want to drudge up old things and try to bring people down. Especially with a story like this. I'm sure people were lining up from all over the country to rain on this parade. Well, someone finally did. The story broke sometime early last week. Sometime before 2005, when the league banned the drug, Ankiel had taken HGH, human growth hormone. Now, while not against the rules at the time, MLB can now suspend you based on evidence that you took it. Pretty weak rule if you ask me, but its how it is. Within the span of a couple days, this was all over the news. With names being thrown out left and right, it seemed that everybody who ever picked up a bat had cheated. The news reporters lined up to grill Ankiel with questions about his past. And unlike, Mark Mcgwire, he was here to talk about the past. Whether he had something to hide, or whether he was just shook up by everyone under the sun now calling him a CHEATER, this controversy has had a serious effect on his play. And its a pretty blatant effect too.

That "THUD" you hear is Rick Ankiel.

Since the day when he sliced and diced the Pirates for 2 Home runs, 7 Rbi, and 4 Runs scored, he has gone 2-22 with no Rbi and two runs scored. He also has 8 strikeouts in that span. Coincidence? I think its pretty damn obvious. Now the best story in baseball this year has become one of its worst. We haven't seen a collapse like this since the statue of Saddam fell. With Ankiel, so to went the Cardinals. From 1/2 game back a week ago, to where they stand now 4 1/2 games back.

Its kind of sad really. When you think about how much negative stuff is out there... Then you find a great feel good story for everyone to sink their teeth into... And boom. No mas. I, for one, am getting really sick of it. Memo to MLB, this steroids witch hunt needs to stop. What are they going to accomplish by digging up dirt from the past? All they would do is hurt their sport. Bring about more negative connotations about the nature of baseball in the Major Leagues. I've got news for ya... The fans, they don't give a shit! Its the media that is bringing down your sport. Baseball has drawn more fans this year than ever before, beating the record set last year, and the year before that. People love baseball. Your sport is great right now. Keep it that way. Yes, plenty of people took steroids in the past. We get it. We also get that people scuffed and vasolined balls. We get that people corked bats. We get that people used HGH. We Just DON'T CARE.
Just hit home runs, steal bases, throw some balls around a bit and Smile and things will be all good.

As for Rick Ankiel, who knows what will become of him.. He obviously has the talent to be a fixture in the league for a long time, but will this pass quietly or have we really seen the beginning of the end? What we do know, thanks to the media, is that he may not be so "Natural" anymore.


Terry Ryan is done, as GM. This is strange. Why now? Why at all? Is he saying? There are so many questions. More later.

In Theaters Tomorrow… Sept. 14th

There are many films releasing this week… too many to talk about. First stricken from the list is Mr. Woodcock… you made one good decision Stifler, stop making films. Second stricken from the list is Across The Universe… a Beatles themed transatlantic love story starring a chick named Evan just doesn’t fly in my world. Third off the list is Moving McAllister… there is a reason Jon Heder films are only getting limited releases lately, and its not Mila Kunis. Fourth off the list is Dragon Wars… Love the concept and all (dragons are freakin’ sweet) but this film just screams shitty. That leaves me with 4 films to talk about.

Eastern Promises looks super good and has a stellar cast, an insanely f-ed up and brilliant director and a script written by an Oscar nominated screenwriter. Viggo Mortensen plays a Russian mobster living in London who is torn between following orders and saving an innocent nurse (Naomi Watts) who has stumbled upon a crime underworld while looking for a child surviving parent. Watts finds out that the mother who was murdered while giving birth was part of a prostitution ring set up by Mortenson’s crime family and a larger brotherhood of eastern European crime families. I know that doesn’t sound original or great but David Cronenberg and Viggo Mortenson came together for A History of Violence and Cronenberg’s other work includes Spider, The Fly and Videodrone. The man spends a lot of time putting together extremely elaborate metaphors for what is so messed up about man.

The Hunting Party is an extremely interesting and mostly true story of a handful of journalists who find the most wanted man in Bosnia after the war had been over for about 4 years… I wish it was as simple as sending a handful of journalists to Pakistan to rout out Bin Laden. Anyway, Richard Gere plays a senior member of the press showing a new guy around Bosnia with Photographer Terrence Howard. The trio takes it upon themselves to hunt down the most dangerous man in the land and in turn he seeks them out thinking they were a CIA hit squad posing as journalists. The film jumps between genres including dark comedy, drama and action. The chick from National Treasure and James Brolin also appear in the film.

In The Valley Of Elah is only out in limited release but I figured I’d mention it because Oscar season is approaching. Paul Haggis wrote a directed the film. Yeah, the same Paul Haggis that was the first ever to write two back-to-back Best picture winners (Million Dollar Baby, Crash). The film is about a father and career officer (Tommy Lee Jones) who is searching for his soldier son who has gone AWOL upon return from Iraq. He enlists the help of a sexy police detective (Charlize Theron) and his wife (Susan Sarandon). We’re 4 for 4 on Oscar winners so far, everybody knows that Oscar likes to stick with the ones he loves. (Unless you’re Marisa Tomei)

The Brave One looks a lot like last weeks Death Sentence, but with Jodie Foster instead of Kevin Bacon. (Foster was in Sommersby with Maury Chaykin, who of course was in that goddamn Where The Truth Lies… seriously who wasn’t in that damn film?) Foster is a radio host who is attacked while with her husband by three bastard-faced bastards. Her husband dies and she is traumatized by the events. She buys a gun in hopes of finding the men that killed her husband. She witnesses the murder of a clerk in a convenience store and kills the man who committed the crime. She continues the vigilante murders and soon enough a cop (Terrence Howard, again) is after the person behind the biggest story in the New York press. Can Jodie Foster kill three Bastard-faced Bastards before Terrence Howard catchers? I say it’s a five-way shootout at the end. You guess which two survive with shoulder wounds.

Honestly, I have no Idea how to draw up the box office after 3:10 To Yuma only made 14 million dollars and it biggest competition will also be its biggest pre-flop Oscar competition. #1 The Hunting Party (not my first choice though) #2 3:10 to Yuma #3 Mr. Woodcock (because too many kids will see a film because the word cock is in the title) #4 Halloween #5 The Brave One (because Jodi Foster has more pull than Viggo Mortenson)

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

2-0 (soon to be 3-0)

To be honest I don't know how the Cyclones are going to score on Saturday. This is what they have to look forward to this weekend. Zero first downs, and no positive yards till the middle of the 3rd quarter. This could be interesting.

Out of nowhere The Hawkeye Compulsion up and moved. It looks good so far. P.S. I hate you...

According to the Sporting News the Clones rank 106th in the nation in Offense, with only 13.5 points per game.

Go tell the Des Moines Register what you think ISU's chances are.

Here are some more pictures from last Saturday.