Some People's Kids: Things that Suck

Thursday, October 11, 2007

Things that Suck

In honor of Bez's Michael Jordanesk return to the Blog, I have come up with a couple things, not that make me happy, but that really make me upset. Not in a "throw things against the wall" way, but in a "shake my head in your general direction" type of way. Here goes...

Kids on Leashes

Whoever came up with this has got to be the dumbest Mo Fo out there. I'm aware that these have been around a while, but I saw them for the first time this summer at the Minnesota State Fair. I tell ya, it blew my damn mind.. Listen, for all those who are confused, Kids are not Animals! Is it that hard for your lazy ass to walk hand and hand with your child. If you can't pay enough attention to them to keep an eye on them, don't bring them with. Its that simple. Having your kid on a leash since birth is the stuff Mental Hospitals are made of. These are probably the kids that are gonna grow up and pull a Columbine on us. Do the rest of us a favor and stop being an idiot.

Stewart Scott's "Spoken Word" Poetry on Sportscenter

Last night on Sportscenter, Stew broke down the Celtics-Timberwolves highlight by doing a very poor impression of Mos Def or Maya Angelo. I tried to follow some of it, but then, when it didn't rhyme or sound good, it lost me. I know SC is trying to mix things up and not give us the same show every night, and thats all well and good, but please put a stop to this madness. We get it, Stew's black. You don't have to do your best to remind us every night. I want to hear the sports and see the highlights. You have done an excellent job for almost 30 years. Just keep it simple, stupid. I'll take your "Bou-Ya"s and "Cool as the other side of the pillow" lines, and I'm not standing for anymore of this..

MLB Free Agency

This is further proof why the Twins will always be mediocre. There's no stopping it. When you hear that Carlos Silva and Kyle Louse are going to be commanding big contracts this year, the world has officially ended. The free agent market keeps getting crazier and crazier, and when our favorite club refuses to catch up with the times, it seals its own fate. I read somewhere that if ARod opts out of his contract, his agent, Scott Boras, hopes to command somewhere in the neighborhood of 500 million for his next contract. At first, it blew my mind, but then I realized, this is what we have come to. When does it stop? Teams can build all they want through the minor leagues, but its only short lived. When their young studs hit free agency, its over, because only a few clubs out there can afford them, or are willing to spend the money to keep them. Parity is what makes the NFL so great. Free Agency in Major league Baseball with no Salary Cap will make damn sure that "parity" isn't ever even mentioned in the same sentence.

NFL "Timeout Rule"

It was clever the first time someone did it. It was crafty the next time someone did it. Now, its become downright bad for the game. You know the rule, team lines up for Field Goal. Right before the snap, other team calls a timeout at the very second before the team gets the play off, effectively ruining what might be a game-winning, tear jerking moment. Its happened to the Raiders, the Browns, the Auburn Tigers, and this past Monday night to the Dallas Cowboys. Sometimes it works out the same way, as the team still makes the kick. But other times, the team misses on the second try.. I know that the object of the game is to win, but not like that. I think this rule will be short lived as there is already talks in place to change it starting next year. And good riddance, although this wont be the last time we see this this year.

Combo Platter: Sunglasses indoors/ Popped Collars

You know who you are. If you wear sunglasses when its 40 degrees, cloudy, and raining. If you popped your polo shirt collar in any weather. You are what we in the "biz" like to refer to as a DBAG. You aren't Tom Cruise or Puffy. Even though you do some drugs, you aren't Lindsey Lohan. You're Joe Smo. You don't look good. You look like a moron. Its not a fashion statement when people know you are doing for that reason. There is a kid in one of my classes that commits both these fashion faux pas at once.. It takes every ounce of me, not to beat him. Enough said.

Runner up: Men wearing Pink, Dog Purses, Trucker Hats

Kevin Garnett in a Celtics' Uniform.

Not Cool. Big time Suck. Tear.

Skip Bayless, ESPN's "1st and 10" show

It happened a couple years back, with the emergence of shows like "PTI" and "Around the Horn," long time sports writers being thrust into the limelight of television. These writers, working mostly behind the scenes for their entire careers, are now household names. Most of them are knowledgeable and some are even humorous at times. But one thing they all have in common is that they are all old. No where on any of these shows do you see a young, upbeat sports writer come on to discuss sports, with the exception of maybe Michael Smith. For the most part its crotchety old men. None of which is more so then Skip Bayless. I get annoyed hearing this guy talk, let alone actually listening to what he has to say. Sometimes I think he just says things for the shock value of it all, and not because he has a real opinion on something. He is the epitome of what is wrong with these shows. That someone like this clown is famous. And he is suddenly everywhere. He is a regular on the aforementioned "1st and 10" as well as being a guest on recent Sportcenters and on talk radio stations. For the love of god, get this grumpy, old, stuck in the 70's man off the screen, and back where he belongs. Writing in boring newspapers. And dump that show, nobody watches it and its horrible.


AdamBez said...

Yes, I'm back, and I know you all missed me, but I have a few things for ya neubie. On that Time-Out shit, what if the Defensive back stood next to the ref and waited till just before the ball was snapped and called time out. It's the same thing, and it would happen either way, if the coach called the time out or if the players do it.

Stew blows,


Neubiedamus said...

right back at ya.. what they are talking about is making it against the rules within the last 10 seconds of the play clock to take a timeout. This would, in effect, prevent teams from doing this, whether its players or coaches. Stupid loophole..


AdamBez said...

So you can't take a time out in the last 10 seconds of the play clock, that makes no sense what so ever. I bet over 90% of all time out are taken in the last 10 seconds of a play clock. That rule would never make it to the NFL. It's not a loop hole, and it's been part of the game for years. How many times have you seen teams try and "ice" a kicker.

SPOKEN WORD...(this spoken word shit is fun, even if you don't rhyme)

Neubiedamus said...

Like I said, its being talked about. I have no clue how they are gonna go about enforcing the rule. I just calls em how I sees em. Thats what I heard. Icing the kicker is different from calling a timeout the very second the other team snaps the ball. If its been around so long, why have they only had a big problem with it this year. The two are different things.

Spoken word.. (it is fun, but it should be only used in the confines of your own house, or with a buddy or two, not on Sportscenter)