In Theaters Tomorrow…

There are a seven movies coming out this week (Aug. 3rd) and one is only in New York and L.A.)But I only really want to talk about 3 of them. They are making a BRATZ movie… that will be the only mention of the film and the doll franchise that is turning America’s youth into 12 year-old whores. J-Lo and her husband made a film about some dude who made salsa popular in the U.S. called EL CANTANTE. That will be the last time I mention a biopic made about a dude I don’t know by a chick who is full of herself. UNDERDOG is voiced by Jason Lee and I remember watching the show at my grandma’s when I was little but citing the atrocities that were FAT ALBERT and INSPECTOR GADGET I will not be going into detail. Anne Hathaway stars in BECOMING JANE, about Jane Austin, and I’ve read good reviews but I won’t be seeing this unless forced to by a lovely lady. Odds are I won’t be seeing this.

THE TEN is only being released in New York and Los Angeles but it’s a shame that this film gets two cities while those other briefly mentioned films get to fill up theaters across the country. It is this type of decision that makes me cringe and wonder how studio executives ever got to where they are. The film was written and directed by David Wain from “Stella” and “The State”, Wain also wrote WET HOT AMERICAN SUMMER. The film has ten loosely connected stories about each of the 10 commandments. Paul Rudd plays the morally lenient narrator who is the connection between the vignettes. Starring in the film is SPK favorite Jessica Alba, Famke Janssen (X-MEN), Rob Corddry (Daily Show), Adam Brody (O.C.), Kerri Kenney (Reno 911), Winona Rider and Oliver Platt. This is a film that takes chances (vignettes), pokes fun at religion and its got that certain kind of humor that’s hard to find.

SNL flavor of the week Andy Samberg is hitting the big screen for the first time with HOT ROD. For those you who have not watched the show in a while Samberg is the dude spending most of his time spoofing music (Dick in a Box and Lazy Sunday) and making SNL digital shorts. The film is about a loser who decides to impress his stepfather and save his life by becoming a stunt man and jumping 15 busses. This film looks stupid, but in a BILLY MADISON kind of way. From what I’ve read Jorma Taccone is a scene-stealer. Others in the film include Ian McShane (Swearengger in “Deadwood”) as the stepfather, Will Arnett, Chris Parnell and Isla Fisher from WEDDING CRASHERS as Samberg’s love interest. Here is a pretty funny interview from the cast.

Matt Damon is back as Jason Bourne in what is supposed to be the third and final film THE BOURN ULTAMATUM. Now that Bourne is aware of who he is and how he is connected to the American government he is tying up loose ends left behind by the “Treadstone Project.” Bourne is finally taking the fight to the U.S. and the film is gonna be CrazyGoNutz. I love the use of handheld cameras to give it that shaky, in the action feel and the super fast editing that we’ve become accustomed to. On top of all of this I feel like the action has been ramped up for the latest film. Joan Allen, Julia Stiles and Tom Gallop are back and Albert Finney and Edgar Ramirez who plays Bourne’s nemesis will join the cast. I got a nickel says Nicky and Bourne hook up. This is the film to see this week.

Box Office: #1 THE BOURNE ULTAMATUM #2 THE SIMPSONS MOVIE #3 HOT ROD #4 CHUCK AND LARRY #5 HARRY POTTER