Lunch Break: Boston Cream Pie edition

Boston, Boston, Boston. The Sawx are 8-0 in World Series games under Francona, The Pats are destroying teams and helping me out in fantasy (Thank you Mr. Brady) and The Celtics are about to open the season with possibly the best trio of all-star players ever assembled in history and with the man who has lead my team since I was in grade school. Oh yeah, and Boston College is still ranked #2 in the BCS.
Minnesota? We’re gonna lose Torri Hunter. Our football team has the most explosive back to hit the league running since LT, but no semblance of a passing game. Our basketball team is going to wreak (but we do have talent and draftpicks). Hell our college football team can’t even beat a team from North Dakota. At least our Hockey team is better than anything in Boston.

Kevin Garnett talks to Dime Magazine about his friendships in the association.

Glen Taylor gives two goll-darn interviews where he talks doody about anyone and everyone who is no longer with the team.

The Wolves have decided to pay Juwan Howard not to play for the team. (and probably end up as a member of the Celtics)

Do not hunt with this man and his dog.

Marrisa Miller has her own Fathead… which makes way more sense than an athelete.

UND is gonna get all PC, and still probably pound the Gophers for the next 10 years.

A-Rod won’t be playing for the Yankees, and Peter Gammons calls him out on his impeccable timing.

The Twins pick up Joe Nathan's option. Totally unexpected, totally.

FreeDarko (probably the best Basketball blog ever) predicts what every single NBA player will do this season. I wish that I’d had time to put up the Wolves roster because they are killer and spot on.

Holy Crap the Hawks won.

Ricky Buckets, Largest Small Forward in the League No Longer Have to Play on our Shitty Team

It looks like the Wolves traded Ricky Davis and Mark Blount to the Miami Heat today. In return we'll get Antoine Walker, Micheal Doleac and Wayne Simien, but don't worry because Doleac and Simien have expiring contracts. According to ESPN we also get a future first rounder. For those of you keeping track at home that's some good shit... 3 expiring contracts next year, 3 1st round draft picks, one less year on Walker's contract than Blount's and a bunch of young kids with promise down the road. As far as the 1st round draft picks go I'm not sure what year the Heat's will be and technically one of the Celtic's picks was originally ours.

With Blount and Buckets gone I think the team will put up more assists, grab more boards and have a higher 3pt percentage. That won't translate into more wins this year, but hopefully this sort of play will become a theme of the new look Wolves. I think it will also help with team chemistry... I don't know for a fact that Ricky Davis has a bad attitude but I always sort of got that feeling and I heard that Blount and Big Al have had something going ever since their days in green.
For those of you who don't know Doleac is a Center who averages 3.4 rebs and 5 points. Simien is a forward who averages 2.9pts and 1.4 rebs. Antoine Walker's production has been steadily decreasing over the years, but that will probably pick up a bit on a team full of kids. Last year he averaged 8.5 pts and 4.3 rebs but his career average is 18 pts almost 8 rebounds and 3.7 assists. I don't know what this will do to the roster seeing as we already have too many players. This most likely makes Rashad McCants our starting Shooting guard and moves Chris Richards up in the depth chart.

If I were McHale my first move would be to buy out Simien's contact, which is just a shade under a million. My second move would be to sign the shit out of Al Jefferson... Lock that kid up, but in a non franchise crippling way. My third move would be to trade that gimpy Mark Madsen back to the Lakers for a hot Cheerleader. I don't like when my cheerleaders are 6-9, 250 lbs and have a set of balls.
I'm so excited for basketball to begin. Seriously. The Wolves may suck, but there is finally a good reason for it. We'll get to see some really talented kids lose on an almost daily basis and all of that yummy cap space we've been piling up over the summer will allow us pick and choose who we want to keep on our team and who we want to try and lure into the snow.

If you want more literature on the trade go here, she finds it all.

A must watch

That could be the goal of the year, from Calder Memorial Trophy winner Johnathan Toews.

Dat Dino is Gangsta!

Barney is definitely better at this dance than Jerry Rice. I think my favorite part is the little Asian kid.

CRANK DAT SOULJA BOY BARNEY!!!

All Praise Purple Jesus

This is what I worship every Sunday. There are Six GMs banging their heads against the wall after seeing Adrian Peterson destroy one of the best defenses in the NFL. I can also think of one head coach and one starting quarterback that should bow down and thank Peterson for taking the pressure off and most likely A) prolonging Childress' head coaching career for at least a little while longer and B) allowing Jackson to develop into a starting quarterback while actually playing starting quarterback. Without Peterson, Childress may not have made it past this season with this organization and Jackson would have been given up on when the lack of offense is not entirely his fault. (I haven't even heard anyone say anything about Jackson's 9-23 day or the fact that 60 of his 139 passing yards came on one play)

I know it was only one game and the Vikings could revert to the team that we've had to endure for the last 20+ games but I really don't think that's going to happen. This team might not make the playoffs but I think they'll at least be playing for a chance at the end of the year. Before the season began I figured the team would win 4 games. We may be two and three, but we've outscored the opponent 101-90 and have never lost a game by more than a TD.

I told you... I told you that all the team needs is 24 points to win. They got 34 points. Peterson scored 18 of those by himself (with a couple blocks here and there)and is the only reason Longwell has a new career high. The former Sooner and current Bad Ass had 224 yards on the ground and 128 returning kicks. I still don't like him returning kicks. Don't get me wrong, I loved him returning the last kick and Childress made the right decision but that is the only scenario where Peterson should be returning kicks.

Even the game plan was better this week. The passing game may not have worked so well but we stretched the field early and on more than one occasion, though it only actually worked once (Thanks for finally using that glue I sent you Stonehands). The team also tried play action a couple of times. Its too bad we can't get 200 yards out of Peterson every game to allow the passing game more time get itself together. I'd still like Sidney Rice to get more looks... he only had one catch, but he laid out for it and fortified my feeling that he'll be a great receiver one day. He probably could have gotten more looks if the team made it into the redzone, but when the other team can't make it there either its not so scary to think about.

The defense did a good job for the first three quarters. Outside of Winfield falling down (which sucks, but I'm not about to complain about our best Corner and one of the hardest hitters in the NFL) the Vikings shut the bears down. The fourth quarter was a different story... I think the D hit the locker room as soon as Dwight Smith got his INT and forgot to look at the clock. This includes Smith who got a great view of Devin Hester's second TD of the day. Marcus McCauly missed a sure INT that would have saved me that anxious feeling you get when the Vikings take a game with a lead of 7 or less into its final minutes. I'd also like some more sacks.

I almost forgot... E.J. Henderson is the shit and crushed that fullback to end the half. Now go watch Osi Umenyiora and Michael Strahan rip Joey's limbs off

NLCS DINNER BREAK

Even though I had stopped writing for so long, I have by no means slowed down on what I read on the intertubes. So here is a little taste of a few things I have found interesting lately in a NLCS Dinner Break.

-We're really going to miss Trenton Hassell, this season. Freedarko has a great profile of him.



-Michael Russo, over at the Star Tribune rips apart the "Demitra is unhappy" rumors running around the NHL. If you're not reading Russo's Rants, you are really missing out. He has been around the NHL since 1995 and is extremely connected to what's going on in the league. It's worth the daily stop for the 1.5 posts per day. He also had some great stats about Nik and my favorite Wild player Brent Burns today:

Here are some great Nik Backstrom stats dug up today by the Wild:– Nik Backstrom is 24-1-2 when leading at any point in a game — lone regulation loss coming Feb. 6 vs. Dallas when he led 2-0 and lost 4-2.

– Backstrom is 16-0-0 when leading after two periods.

– Since officially taking over starting role Feb. 1 for Fernandez, Backstrom ranks first in the NHL in wins (21-3-3), first in shutouts (six), first in goals against average (1.80), first in save percentage (.933) and second in win percentage (.833).

– He’s 22-3-3 in his last 28 decisions.

– He’s 13-0-1 in his last 14 decisions since March 6.

– Has allowed two goals or less in 15 straight regular-season starts.

On Brent Burns, he leads all NHL defensemen in goals since March 11 (six). He has four winning goals in that span, tied for the league lead among forwards and defensemen (Milan Michalek and Mike Comrie).

-The Wild are fast.

-Over at Black Hearts Gold Pants, they have this list, it's a bad list, a very bad list.

-INCH (INside College Hockey) has their pre-season All-Americans up, and they have 3 kids from UND on the 1st team. I wonder if that's a good or bad sign for them.

F - Nathan Davis - Miami
F - Ryan Duncan - North Dakota
F - T.J. Oshie - North Dakota
D - Taylor Chorney - North Dakota
D - Matt Gilroy - Boston University
G - Jeff Lerg - Michigan State

The first and only Gopher on the list is Kyle Okposo, who is on the 3rd team. I expect him to finish higher on this list at the end of the season, the kid is too strong and talented not to.

-My brother who lives in Tempe, AZ and attends ASU is a bum and won't be attending the NLCS game tonight. He had some lame excuse about a test tomorrow, blah blah blah and that is a poor excuse because the game starts at 5pm local time down there. There is no way you can tell me that he won't have enough time to study. On top of this, if you went to www.stubhub.com today tickets for said game started at $5. People in Arizona are lame. For a little reference, tickets for Friday's ALCS game in Boston on stubhub start at $170.

-One of my favorite bands Meriwether is making their Debut in Minneapolis next Wednesday, at the Varsity Theater. If anyone has time, check them out, they're a fun southern rock band.

-Carrot Top, no that's not his name, sorry it's Bobby Kielty will be starting for the Red Sox friday. I wonder how many ex-Twins have played so far in this years playoffs. We all know Kyle "grand slam" Lohse did.




SPOKEN WORD.......




edit:

I had to come back after all that, cause I have found something great, hat tip to The National Anthem Before a Cubs Game. Like Jon said, I hope this is one of many.

Things that Suck

In honor of Bez's Michael Jordanesk return to the Blog, I have come up with a couple things, not that make me happy, but that really make me upset. Not in a "throw things against the wall" way, but in a "shake my head in your general direction" type of way. Here goes...





Kids on Leashes

Whoever came up with this has got to be the dumbest Mo Fo out there. I'm aware that these have been around a while, but I saw them for the first time this summer at the Minnesota State Fair. I tell ya, it blew my damn mind.. Listen, for all those who are confused, Kids are not Animals! Is it that hard for your lazy ass to walk hand and hand with your child. If you can't pay enough attention to them to keep an eye on them, don't bring them with. Its that simple. Having your kid on a leash since birth is the stuff Mental Hospitals are made of. These are probably the kids that are gonna grow up and pull a Columbine on us. Do the rest of us a favor and stop being an idiot.


Stewart Scott's "Spoken Word" Poetry on Sportscenter

Last night on Sportscenter, Stew broke down the Celtics-Timberwolves highlight by doing a very poor impression of Mos Def or Maya Angelo. I tried to follow some of it, but then, when it didn't rhyme or sound good, it lost me. I know SC is trying to mix things up and not give us the same show every night, and thats all well and good, but please put a stop to this madness. We get it, Stew's black. You don't have to do your best to remind us every night. I want to hear the sports and see the highlights. You have done an excellent job for almost 30 years. Just keep it simple, stupid. I'll take your "Bou-Ya"s and "Cool as the other side of the pillow" lines, and I'm not standing for anymore of this..


MLB Free Agency

This is further proof why the Twins will always be mediocre. There's no stopping it. When you hear that Carlos Silva and Kyle Louse are going to be commanding big contracts this year, the world has officially ended. The free agent market keeps getting crazier and crazier, and when our favorite club refuses to catch up with the times, it seals its own fate. I read somewhere that if ARod opts out of his contract, his agent, Scott Boras, hopes to command somewhere in the neighborhood of 500 million for his next contract. At first, it blew my mind, but then I realized, this is what we have come to. When does it stop? Teams can build all they want through the minor leagues, but its only short lived. When their young studs hit free agency, its over, because only a few clubs out there can afford them, or are willing to spend the money to keep them. Parity is what makes the NFL so great. Free Agency in Major league Baseball with no Salary Cap will make damn sure that "parity" isn't ever even mentioned in the same sentence.


NFL "Timeout Rule"

It was clever the first time someone did it. It was crafty the next time someone did it. Now, its become downright bad for the game. You know the rule, team lines up for Field Goal. Right before the snap, other team calls a timeout at the very second before the team gets the play off, effectively ruining what might be a game-winning, tear jerking moment. Its happened to the Raiders, the Browns, the Auburn Tigers, and this past Monday night to the Dallas Cowboys. Sometimes it works out the same way, as the team still makes the kick. But other times, the team misses on the second try.. I know that the object of the game is to win, but not like that. I think this rule will be short lived as there is already talks in place to change it starting next year. And good riddance, although this wont be the last time we see this this year.




Combo Platter: Sunglasses indoors/ Popped Collars



You know who you are. If you wear sunglasses when its 40 degrees, cloudy, and raining. If you popped your polo shirt collar in any weather. You are what we in the "biz" like to refer to as a DBAG. You aren't Tom Cruise or Puffy. Even though you do some drugs, you aren't Lindsey Lohan. You're Joe Smo. You don't look good. You look like a moron. Its not a fashion statement when people know you are doing for that reason. There is a kid in one of my classes that commits both these fashion faux pas at once.. It takes every ounce of me, not to beat him. Enough said.

Runner up: Men wearing Pink, Dog Purses, Trucker Hats


Kevin Garnett in a Celtics' Uniform.



Not Cool. Big time Suck. Tear.


Skip Bayless, ESPN's "1st and 10" show

It happened a couple years back, with the emergence of shows like "PTI" and "Around the Horn," long time sports writers being thrust into the limelight of television. These writers, working mostly behind the scenes for their entire careers, are now household names. Most of them are knowledgeable and some are even humorous at times. But one thing they all have in common is that they are all old. No where on any of these shows do you see a young, upbeat sports writer come on to discuss sports, with the exception of maybe Michael Smith. For the most part its crotchety old men. None of which is more so then Skip Bayless. I get annoyed hearing this guy talk, let alone actually listening to what he has to say. Sometimes I think he just says things for the shock value of it all, and not because he has a real opinion on something. He is the epitome of what is wrong with these shows. That someone like this clown is famous. And he is suddenly everywhere. He is a regular on the aforementioned "1st and 10" as well as being a guest on recent Sportcenters and on talk radio stations. For the love of god, get this grumpy, old, stuck in the 70's man off the screen, and back where he belongs. Writing in boring newspapers. And dump that show, nobody watches it and its horrible.

KG Looks Weird in Green

I couldn't find any video of the game that took place between our Timber Wolves and The Boston Celtics but here is a highlight of the Celtics first game featuring the "Big Three"... individually known as Kevin Garnett, Paul Pierce and Ray Allen.

Ray Allen did most of the scoring (28 Pts). My Favorite Timberwolf (I will continue to call him this regardless of jersey) had 9pts, 6 rebs,2asts, 3 blocks. Ricky Davis was the high scorer for the T-wolves which angers me as he is probably my least favorite player on a team full of players that I don't even know.

The former Celtics did ok; Bassy had 9pts and 3 asts, Ratlif had 6pts and 2 blocks,Gomes had 9pts and 4 rebs, Green had 4 pts and the most interesting piece we got in return had 5 pts, 2 blocks and 6 rebs in the 92-81 loss in London.

Rashad McCants had 11 points and 4 rebounds which hopefully means that his knees are back at 100%. Randy Foye, however, had no points in 8 minutes. Hopefully they just wanted to start figuring out the backup PG position and he isn't injured.

Get ready for a lot of losses this year. Hopefully this team can still put an exciting product on the court.

P.S. I'm going to miss Trenton Hassell.

Blog, I forgot all about you

Blog,
I'm sorry I have been gone for so long. You have been neglected. It's just that things haven't gone well in my sports universe lately. It has been hard, Iowa football sucks (some may say they always have (I won't be one of them)), The Twins sucked the season away, not that I care, but the Vikings blow (actually that's funny), and The Wild are just getting going (they got some help from drunk me, and friends Saturday).

I know I have made promises before to come back more often, and that usually is short lived, so this time I'm not making any promises, but I will try. I may need some motivations so here are a list of things a few things that make me happy:

1. The Yankee's season was only 4 games longer then the Twins. Go Indians.
2. I don't live in Chicago, suck it Bears, bring back Rexy already.
3. Ozzie Guillen will back next year.
4. Lists.
5. The Wild.
6. The NBA is back soon, which seems to give me plenty to write about.

That was short and sweet.

Anyway, If one doesn't work tomorrow afternoon, I suggest in tuning into ESPN2. Timberwolves vs Celtics in preseason play from Italy.

Slowly I gain respect for Visanthe Shaincoe

Did you guys see this? First our tight end begins to catch a few passes here and there when nobody else seems to be able to and then I find out he has a sense of humor. Maybe next we'll find out his goal after football is to become an offensive coordinator and he draws up some useful plays for this season.

Who am I kidding? The catches and a half a chuckle are more than I ever expected.

I hope Brad Childress chokes on his own Mustache.

We’ve been duped… Bamboozled!

We’ve been sold expensive diet water. Brad Childress came to Minnesota under the guise of an offensive guru. I’ve watched 20 games led by the ‘stache and I can’t think of a single offensive outburst. How many times in the last 20 games do you think we’ve scored 24 points or more? 5… Brad Childress’ “Kick-Ass Offence” scores 24 or more points 25 percent of the time. We’re 5 for 5 in those games but first we have to get to 24. That’s 3 TDs and a field goal… not too much to ask considering the defense provides one of those touchdowns on a regular basis and tends to put the offense in good position to score most of the time.

Did you know that Visanthe Shaincoe was the leading receiver versus the Chiefs? When the tight end leads all receivers that is a bad sign. That is a combination of checkdowns and a leader who refuses to take chances. Childress’ offense is horrible, no matter what quarterback he puts out there they end up looking like Linus from peanuts sucking their thumb and grasping onto their blanket for dear life. That card he holds over his face during a game is actually only empty tick-tack-toe boards which he and Darrell Bevell fill out during the game

The team seems afraid to commit to Tarvaris Jackson and I wonder how bad his injury really is. Jackson and those receivers had better lock themselves away in the confines of Winter park and develop some sort of rapport. My suggestion is that Jackson focus on Bobby Wade and Sidney Rice. If Jackson and those receivers run routes until they’ve burned a path in the turf (ala Peyton and his guys) they might be able to find each other on game day. I don’t want to see Kelly Holcolm any more this year barring an injury… let Jackson throw his interceptions, take his hits and lose some games because he will be better for it.

I faintly remember a Vikings team that stretched the field a few years back. I know that team had Randy Moss and Daunte Culpepper, but you don’t need players of that caliber in order to stretch the field. I saw Dwayne Bowe and Damon Huard do it just the other week. I doesn’t take pro-bowl players, it takes a game plan and, maybe even more important, a willingness to deviate from the game plan when it falls apart. Look, I’m not being a delusional Homer here, I know that my team is bad but these last three losses don’t feel like they were inevitable. In each one you can point to one or two things that could have led to a win had they gone differently.

If the run game works why doesn’t the play action? If Adrian Peterson AKA Purple Jesus goes off for 100 yards in the first half why give him two carries in the second… and if you think he’s fragile because of the collarbone then why in the hell is he returning kicks? Are you going to throw to a gamecock? Why not Sidney Rice? He seems pretty good at an endzone jump ball and if I remember correctly that was his bread and butter in South Carolina.

I’ve got a great idea for you- lets put Troy Williamson at Cornerback… that way we won’t get burned by whoever Cedric Griffin is covering and it a plus when Williamson catches the ball instead of a prayer answered. Any one of these suggestions would be helpful if it were not for Childress. Childress is Mchale’s love of Boston and inking big deals for mediocre players. Childress is Carl Pohlad’s billions of dollars never to be spent on the Twins. In a nutshell Childress is Minnesota sports. Expect him to be around for far too long.