Some People's Kids: Get Off My Team

Friday, January 4, 2008

Get Off My Team

The season is over for the Minnesota Vikings and now its time for the coaching staff evaluate each of the players and make some decisions about who should stay and who should go. As a professional know nothing I've decided to do my own evaluating. The Star Tribune has a list of all the Vikings free agents which could come in handy for those of you following along.

The first person I want off my team is TROY WILLIAMSON. I've seen blind guys with better hands than this waste of space... I'm so glad we traded the best wide receiver still playing for Williamson and Napoleon Harris cause that totally worked in our favor. Red McCombs is getting a shank in the side if I ever run into him. Robert Ferguson is a free agent and though I'm not a huge fan of Ferguson I'd rather resign him and drop Williamson and look for an actual number one receiver. Free agents to look into are Andre Davis, Bernard Berrian, that's about it since Patrick Crayton signed his contract.

Up next is Brooks Bollinger and Kelly Holcomb. I want them both gone, I want someone who can actually compete with Tarvaris Jackson for the number one spot (Quinn Gray? Cleo "Fucking" Lemon?) and I want to use a fourth - Sixth round pick on a QB. Lets draft our own Tom Brady or Tony Romo.
Dwight Smith must also leave. he can't tackle Clinton Portis, he can't keep his thing in his pants and he can't wait until the offseason to smoke copious amounts of ganja. Take note current Vikings players the off season and the comfort of your own home is the ideal place to get high. I don't care if it helps with pain, its against the law for some reason and we can't be busting players out of jail on Saturday nights so they can play the next morning. Re-sign Tank Williams and get another safety through the draft or try to pick up someone like Gibril Wilson

Ryan Cook. God Damn Retard.
Erasmus James. Play a game. 5 sacks and 30 tackles in 23 games is no good and he's played 8 games in the last two seasons. I hate the fact that Childress favors James above Ray Edwards and Brian Robinson.

People I will miss.
Meweldi Moore is almost certainly gone, but I think hes one hell of a football player who found himself in an unfavorable position.
Spencer Johnson will most likely find a new home this off season but he is the man that gives the Willaims boys breaks without anybody noticing it.


Jay said...

I approve this message. Obama'08 Oh and Childress has seen better days so maybe ship his ass too. Hey Cam Camron is available.

The Inevitable Muck-up said...

Chili is kind of growing on me. Don't get me wrong the man has faults, but he's got a team that knows he can be a drill sergeant and is willing to kick you off of his team (year one) or you can do things his way and he'll be copacetic.