Some People's Kids: Stuff and Things.. Butt Mostly, Stuff.

Thursday, June 26, 2008

Stuff and Things.. Butt Mostly, Stuff.

Someone out there is a genius! This just proves that you don't need to come up with a new form of rocket science to make it rich. I was watching TV the only day when a commercial came on that I took as a Mad TV skit. This couldn't be a real product, could it? Then I did some in-depth (not really) research on the topic and found out that yes! it indeed was an actual product that you could purchase. Its called Anti- Monkey Butt Powder. For those who are not familiar with the Monkey Butt, it is referred to as to red, chapped rear end resulting from being seated and sweaty for far too long. It can also be used in reference to the phenomenon of going to the bathroom too many times with less than high quality toilet paper.(Ouch) An obvious relative of SWASS, Monkey Butt has affected too many people for far, far too long. There is an end in sight for sufferers of Monkey Butt. While I'm pretty sure its just glorified Gold-Bond or other talcum powder, its still a glorious marketing idea. And whoever came up with the slogan has my respect for the willingness to put such a sexual explicit undertone on the front of a product. It sounds like something Creepy-D Skeet might be interested in.
If anyone is interested, you can purchase it here.

Moving along.
With all the draft talk on this blog centering around the hometown team, I would like to take a minute to focus on the happenings outside of the Twin Cities. It was announced last night that the Pacers and Raptors had
come to terms on a deal that would send Pacers forward Jermaine O'Neal to the Raptors for TJ Ford, RASHO, and the 17th overall selection in tonight's NBA Draft. I had heard about this trade rumor for a couple days now, but I was really hoping that Toronto wouldn't give in. From the sounds of things, there is alot of interest in TJ in numerous trades. It's apparent to everyone too that he needs to go in one form or another. Ford was lost his starting spot and 2+ months of playing time to a flagrant foul by Atlanta Hawks Forward Al Horford last year. Little known Jose Calderon took his spot and never looked back. When Ford was eligible to come back, he was open with his frustration of riding the bench. Some deals had him going to Phoenix in a deal involving Boris Diaw, while others had him going to Portland for some players and a pick. It seems, however that the Raptors have decided to take in the oft-injured Jermaine O'Neal and his contract, which stands at 2 years, and 44 Million dollars left. While TJ had to go, this was not the player to get back in return. If he is healthy, O' Neal is one of the better power forwards in the NBA, but the thing is he can NEVER stay healthy. Over the past four seasons, he has missed 122 games, or over 30 per season. So, you are telling me you are going to pay this clown 22 Million dollars to play, on average 51 games per year over the next two. Indiana is probably thrilled at this thievery. Sure, after those two years, that money will come off the books and they will have plenty of money to spend on other free agents or to re-sign stud Chris Bosh, but to me thats too much risk to take on. I have listened to some experts say that they love this trade for Toronto, but only if he can stay healthy. I can agree with them on those terms, but to that, I say "good luck." I have to see it before I can believe that one.

Of the teams in this draft, Miami, along with the Wolves, have drawn the most intrigue about what to do with their picks. Miami is a team, that with one or two players, can jump back into the top of the Eastern Conference picture again. At last check, they still have Dwayne Wade and Shawn Marion on the roster. Couple that with a young superstar at the top of this draft, and things are looking pretty good again in Miami. Many people have speculated that the Heat are decided between Mayo and Beasley with a lean towards Mayo. This would be music to my ears if Beasley falls to the Wolves at #3. While my stance on Mayo has softened considerably since an earlier post when I realized the thing that we needed the most on this squad was some star power, I would much rather have Beasley because he fills an immediate need, which is also a plus. I think its going to be a very active draft all around the league. It should be fun to watch.

A couple baseball topics before I go.

How's the saying go? "There's one in every family." Well, it appears there is one in every league now too. Shawn Chacon, journeyman pitcher, formerly of the Houston Astros was suspended indefinitely yesterday. Chacon has spent years with the Rockies, Yankees, Pirates, and now the Astros. He was suspended after doing his best Latrell Sprewell impression and choking the shit out of his general manager. As much as all of us has wanted to beat up our boss at one point in time, most of us refrain from doing so to save our lively hood and our dignity. Then there is people like Chacon, angry after being demoted to the bullpen, who decide to take matters into their own hands, literally. If you feel the absolute need to choke someone out, find the equipment manager, the ball boy or that guy who shoots the shirts into the stands, don't do it to the guy who makes decisions on whether players stay or go. This is a ticket straight out of the major leagues. Chacon, who was a decent 4th or 5th starter, is now widely considered to be done in the major leagues for good, something that relieves general managers all over the US. Every once and a while, these stories pop up in the news, whether its Latrell or Bobby Knight choking one of his players. It makes me laugh every time because these people don't realize they are committing career suicide. They will always carry that stigma around with them for as long as the play or coach. Thats, if, they ever play or coach again.

Has anyone noticed the Twins are on an 8 game winning streak? Its gone fairly unnoticed as far as I can tell. True, it was against the likes of Washington, Arizona, and San Diego. And sure, it was interleague play, where the Twins always work their National League opponents. And sure, like I told someone the other day, any team can go on a 7-8 game winning streak throughout the season. I mean, hell, the Kansas City Royals are 10-1 in their last 11 games after all. I don't expect this from this Twins team, though, which makes me even more intrigued than I already am. I think this squad has played alot better then people expected them to through this point in the season. They have some rough stretches, characteristic of a young ball club, but if they can keep this up, they might be contending for the division by the end of the season. In a stretch of 5 games this past week, the Twins faced, and beat, 4 pitchers in 5 games that had won one or multiple Cy Young Awards. It doesnt matter what teams you are playing when those are the odds against you. The main reason for their success, I think has been their starting pitching, which has compiled a 7-0 record and a 1.90 Era over the last 8 games. Some of their call ups have even done well. Alexi Casilla has seemed to figure it out, and Brian Busher is hitting .390 at last check.
I think July will say alot about this team. They have series against Texas, the Yankees, the Red Sox, The White Sox, the Indians and 2 series' against the Tigers. This should give us a good idea of where we should expect this team to finish come September.

And for our newest viewer... Hook 'Em Horns!


The Inevitable Muck-up said...

You don't take down Randy Johnson, Brandon Webb, Jake Peavey, Trevor Hoffman and Greg Maddox down in a week and not get noticed by the media. People are aware of how odd this winning streak is in places like Idaho and Georgia.

Also, I'm sure you've seen it by now but Yi Jianlian and Bobby Simmons have been traded to The Nets for Richard Jefferson. This draft hasn't even started and it already seems like more business will get done than we've ever seen before.

Neubiedamus said...

Wow, what a bad trade... I tell ya.. give me the keys to a GM's office for one week... There better be a draft pick involved somewhere. I hadn't seen that yet. I hope you are right about the draft.

jesse said...

Ha, I didn't catch the genius of the title of this post until I finished reading it. Tricky...
and I'll echo your Twins sentiments too Adamman, I'm excited for July and the Twins, its been while since I've really wanted to tune in on a nightly basis to check in on the squad.