Tales From Behind The Bars

It's always unfortunate when sports and prison intertwine. It's also inevitable. Like Big Poppa said, "Mo Money, Mo problems." Today there are two Minnesota sports/jail stories. Both are no surprise, but sad none the less.

Isaiah "J.R." Rider, inventor of the east bay funk dunk and 5th overall pick by the Minnesota Timberwolves in the 1993 draft is once again in jail. This time he is accused of auto theft after being arrested early Saturday morning in the skid row district of Los Angeles. He has since been released on bail to await trial.

Rider has had a history of law trouble that dates back to his college days when he was arrested for throwing a milkshake through the drive-through window of a Jack-in-the-box. During the 95-96 season Rider was convicted of 5th degree assault after kicking the manager of a sports bar. Rider had a few more brushes with the law during his playing years, none worse than possession of Marijuana and possession of an illegal cell phone, but once his career was over the real trouble started. In January of 2006 he was charged with kidnapping and domestic assault. In February of 2007 he plead guilty to felony cocaine possession and evading an officer. In January of this year Rider was charged with unlawful Firearm possession after getting into an argument with a taxi driver.

The other sports related jailing is not about an actual athlete. Souksangouane Phengsene was jailed Sunday night for suspicion of DWI. Most people don't remember that name, let alone have the skill to properly pronounce it, but Phengsene was the man who killed Malik Sealy in 2000 on his way home from Kevin Garnett's birthday party. Souk was drunk that night as well and was charged with criminal vehicular homicide. When he crashed into Sealy Phengsene was driving the wrong way down highway 100.

In 1997 he was charged with drunken driving in Des Moines and again in 2006 in Crystal. Unfortunately, since he plead guilty to vehicular homicide and not DWI in the Sealy crash the 2006 charge was not enhanced. Hopefully the judge will take a good long look at this man's driving record, throw him in jail for a while and rip up his license forever.

Things that Don't Suck... Volume 1

Its that time again. With all the talk(and rightfully so) about the NCAA Tournament and all the excitement and intriguing story lines it brings us every year, one might not realize that the NBA playoffs are on the horizon. Now, usually this would bring a yawn to most of you, and it would usually have the same effect on me as well. Usually, no matter how much we all don't want it to happen, San Antonio meets some boring overmatched Eastern Conference team in the Finals and we all know how that ends up. This year, however is much different. I haven't been this excited to watch the NBA playoffs since Number 23 was breaking Byron Russell's ankles in Salt Lake. In case you have lived under a rock these last couple months, you have probably heard that the Western Conference is the most competitive it has ever been. How the Top 8 seeds can be so good and separated by 6 games this late in the season is something to behold. Seeds routinely change every day, preventing us from really knowing who's playing who in the first round up until probably the last day of the season. The East is better too, but other than the top three teams, Boston, Detriot, and Cleveland, it will be irrelevant once the playoffs start. Since its impossible to know match ups yet, I felt that I would just take time breaking down some of the goings on in the West. All the excitement really started after the All Star Break, when a bevy of monster trades happened. First it was Pau Gasol going to the Lakers, then Shaq to the Suns, and finally Jason Kidd to the Mavericks. Usually you see one big trade every year around that time, but not three and especially not three with such big implications. After that, the Yao-Less Rockets went on an unbelievable 22 game winning streak to vault from out of the playoffs to the #1 seed. And now, with about three weeks left before the playoffs begin, the unlikely of unlikely has happened as now the New Orleans Hornets, fresh off a five game winning streak which included the likes of Houston, Boston, and on the road at Cleveland and an improving Indiana Pacer team, sit atop the West Standings. If anyone says they called that one when the season began, they lie worse than Pete Rose does.

The New Orleans Hornets
The feel good story of the NBA. A team that seemingly went from homeless to one of the most exciting teams in the NBA overnight. It all started when Chris Paul fell into their laps with the fourth pick in the 2005 draft. There were two "can't miss" point guards in that draft, Deron Williams and Chris Paul. How BOTH of these two got pass Point Guard-less Atlanta at the Number 2 pick boggles my mind. I guess that's why the Hawks are the Hawks. They are getting better now, but think of a combination of Chris Paul, Joe Johnson, and Josh Smith.. Eek.
But alas, the Hornets got a gift handed to them, and haven't looked back since. Building around Paul, and combining David West with new arrivals Tyson Chandler and a fresh off back surgery Peja Stojakovic, they created a young nucleus that has blossomed into one of the more exciting teams in the league. The can beat you any way you like it: Fast breaking, drive and kick, or pick and roll. Not a lot of people remember that David West was the AP player of the year at Xavier in 2003. How he fell to the 18th pick in that years draft is yet another mystery. I think it was a case of NBA teams being on a Euro Craze and not noticing that hey, there are still good players left in this country. West took a couple years to become the player he is now, but like everyone else on this team, is coming of age at the right time. I get the pleasure of seeing these Hornets at the Target Center in a couple weeks, so I will get to see in person what I think that I already know... This team is for real and any team sleeping on them will be met with an early exit.


Golden State Warriors /Denver Nuggets

I chose to group these two teams together because they are essentially the same team. They both have sometimes amazing offenses, capable of running you off the court. They both, however, have atrocious defenses, which usually spells disaster for teams in the playoffs. The Warriors have been one of my favorite teams since last year when they made their run at the end of the regular season and into the Western playoffs. Anyone who reads this blog on a regular basis knows thats no secret. But what has changed this year is that they are better than last years team. The roster has changed that much, if at all(minus the failed Chris Webber experiment) but what has changed is that they are a year older and a year better. Last year, Monta Ellis barely had a place in the playoff rotation. This year, there's times that he literally doesn't seem to miss, and his place on the team is no longer in question. Baron Davis has been the healthiest he has ever been in his career in being one of the most valuable players in the league. Everyone on this team can shoot, excluding Andris Beidrens, who doesn't need to. They come at you with numerous three point bombs and they throw athlete after athlete at you. That can be a scary combination when used the right way. This coupled with the fact that they have the best homecourt advantage in the league. Not the best record, but the best advantage. If you have seen that place, you know its the loudest arena in the league. If I can make that conclusion from watching a game on TV, how do you think it feels to be an opponent there?

The Nuggets have more of a collection of superstar players, but its the same story. When they are on, they are really on. I don't know if enough was made of them scoring 168 points a couple weeks back against the Sonics. This wasn't some crazy triple overtime game. It was a regular 4 quarter tilt. They scored 48 points in the first quarter! That's more than about 85% of the league averages in a half. They can score from many different ways also. Any team with Carmelo Anthony and Allen Iverson better be able to score. They can hit the three too, which can be a great equalizer. Their major drawback, however, is their wretched defense. In that same game against the Sonics, they gave up 116 points. To the Sonics! They had a stretch in which they gave up 135 points to the offensively-inept Chicago Bulls and 136 to the slow-it-down, half court Detroit Pistons. They may get to the playoffs, but because they just can't stop anybody ever, they will be an early exit.

Utah Jazz

This isn't your older brother's Utah Jazz. This team is actually fun to watch at times. This coming from a guy who grew up loathing the site of the Jazz and Jerry Sloan. This team doesn't have boring John Stockton leading the way. Instead, they have Deron Williams, who's quickly becoming one of the best points in the league. Boring Karl Malone is replaced with Carlos Boozer, who, say what you will about him, has become a pretty damn good player. You throw in role players, Ronnie Brewer, Mhemet Okur, Andrei Kirilenko, and sharp shooter Kyle Korver, and they are going to be a tough out, especially at home where they hold one of the league's best records.


The Rest

I figure you probably know mostly about the Other Western Conference contenders. The Suns are still really good, and that Shaq-Fu thing seems to be working out alot better than most people thought it would. The Mavericks might not even make the playoffs now without Galloping German, Dirk Nowitzki, who is out for the next couple weeks with a nasty ankle/knee injury. The Lakers can beat anybody if they would just stay healthy for an extended period of time. Oh yeah, and they have that Kobe guy, which is always nice too. It was a nice run for Houston, and we're happy for 'em, but they aren't going anywhere. And the Spurs are the Spurs and nobody cares.

I'm really glad that TNT has wall to wall coverage of this season's playoffs because I will be tuning in for as much as I can take. And while the NCAA tournament will give us plenty to talk about over the next couple weeks, don't forget about the millionaires. With all these great teams and possibly great scenarios, the NBA could have it's own "one shining moment" before its all said and done. Lord knows they have needed one.

Andrew Bogut is crazy, lonely.

If you want to know why the Milwaukee Bucks won't make the playoffs this year look no further than Andrew Bogut's routine after making a free throw. Apparently team chemistry is not the Bucks' strong point.

Imaginary friends are not the answer, Andrew.

Steve Nash - Training Day

Steve Nash is awesome. I'm sure everyone has already seen this commercial and is asking, "whats so special about this?" Well, my friends, besides the fact that Nash is a really good soccer player and rides a skateboard he also directed the commercial himself. It sounds like Nash plans to make films when he retires from basketball. He has set up his own production company to make independent films. The Arizona Republic interviewed a few people in the film world about Nash's commercial.

"The spot is like Steve Nash himself - very spontaneous,"(Chris) Lamont(Phoenix film festival president) said. "Guerrilla-style filmmaking really lends itself to the type of work. There is an improv quality, which is like his play . . . I give it a thumbs up."

I can't wait to see what he does when basketball is no longer his main focus.

(via Kotte.org via truehoop with an assist from the Arizona republic)

The Twins roster is basically set

The Twins signed Joe Nathan to a 4 year $47 million contract with a club option for a 5th year. I'm in favor of this even though I know its kind of controversial considering the Santana trade and letting Torii Hunter walk. We got Nathan at a major discount and his no-trade clause only allows for him to select 3 teams that he does not want to play for. That means we can keep him for all four years if our starting pitching surprises us and the line-up lives up to it's potential in the batters box or we can turn Neshek or someone else into our closer and get something very good in return for an all-star caliber closer with a discounted contract.

It looks like Carlos Gomez will be our center fielder on opening day. If nothing else we'll get some interesting quotes on a daily basis from the young Dominican. If he can figure out how to put the bat on the ball on a regular basis and not get overly excited on defense this move will be worth it. Hopefully he'll figure out the names of "the catcher and that other guy."

There were no other surprises in the starting lineup. Mauer will bat second and play catcher, Cuddyer will take right and hit third, Morneau will bat 4th and play first, Delmon Young will take Torii Hunters spot in the order and play left field, Kubel will DH in 6th, Mike Lamb will play third and bat 7th, Brendan Harris will play second and bat 8th and Adam Everett will play short and bat last.

Matt Tolbert staying with the team didn't make sense to me until I read in the Pioneer Press that Gardy feel comfortable plugging him into 7 of the nine positions on the field. Craig Monroe, Mike Redmond and Little Nicky Punto will ride the pine with Tolbert until their numbers get called.

Livan Hernandez, Boof Bonser and Kevin Slowey are locks for starting pitching and the other two spots seem destined for Scott Baker and Fransisco Liriano. The only thing that makes Baker questionable is his injury earlier this spring and a flu that just won't go away. The rumor was that Liriano would start the season in AAA, but after throwing a no hitter through 4 innings against Baltimore he may go north with the team. Baker's absence means that Nick Blackburn will most likely take the final starting role and Brian Bass will play long reliever. Hometown kid Glen Perkins didn't make the team, but he'll surely make his way to Minneapolis when the injuries begin.

Stephen Curry will murdalize your bracket.

The sophmore from Davidson went off for 30 points, 25 of them in the second half to come back from 17 points down to upset Georgetown. Georgetown shot 63.4 percent from the field and still lost! The Hoyas had this game if they hadn't turned it over 20 times.

This Curry kid's draft stock just went through the roof... he's played two games in this tournament and has 70 points. He gave Adam Morrison another reason to cry when he went off for 30 points in the second half against Gonzaga.

Pappa Curry, also known as former NBA sharp shooter Dell Curry, must be proud of the way his son has performed in the tourney. Dell was the 1993-1994 sixth man of the year, ranks 17th all-time in 3-pointers made and is the all-time leading scored for the Charlotte Hornets, but his son seems to have a real shot at surpassing those accomplishments if his college career is any indication. He was second in scoring among freshmen right behind a guy by the name of Kevin Durrant last season and this season he dropped 24 on UNC, 20 on Duke, 29 against NC State and 15 against UCLA.

I'm gonna go out on a limb and say that Cinderella is named Davidson this year. Forget Nova or Western Kentucky... Davidson has a real shot to beat Wisconsin. Georgetown only allowed 57.6 points per game, a mere 3 points more than the Badger's best in the nation 54.3 ppg. Obviously Davidson can handle defensive teams.

Why is it that I never know this shit prior to writing up my brackets?

The Downfall of Duke

Last year Duke fell to VCU. I still remember Eric Maynor willing his tam to a win. This year Duke fell to a more formidable team in West Virginia. Joe Alexander is the man on that team, but the person who was really responsible for this victory was back-up point guard Joe Mazzula. Mazzula had 13 points, 11 rebounds and 8 assists. Alexander added 22 points and 11 rebounds in the victory. Its also important to acknowledge Alex Ruoff's fade away 3 as the shot clock expired for sparking West Virginia's comeback.

Coach K can blame the cold for having to constantly blow his nose in the post game interview, but he'll have to blame the Mountaineers for the tears. For the Blue Devil's next trick they'll become the number one seed for the next tourney and subsequently also become the first one seed to fall in the round of 64. Or miss the tourney entirely. Either way I'll be satisfied.

Now I must watch the Michael Beasly show and hope that he and Bill Walker can beat Wisconsin, a team that rivals the San Antonio Spurs in boring but solid play.

How bout a nice warm glass of SHUT THE HELL UP

I was going to say that this was a response to what muck-up wrote but it's really more of a piling on.

Taylor who never has the balls to rip anyone in his organization while they're here, once again showed he's a spineless pussy. He has yet to hold anyone who is actually at fault to any accountability. He either gets rid of the wrong guy (see: Flip Saunders & Dwayne Casey) or waits till the person leaves the club to rip them (see: again Flip Saunders and Garnett).


(hat tip for the image: 10000takes)


I don't know what he was expecting to accomplish by opening his mouth this time, but fortunately Garnett didn't fall for it. Here's the video from his game last night against the Rockets.



Thank you for being a bigger man Kevin. I hope Glen Taylor lost lots of money this week in the whole Bear Sterns debacle, if not, maybe he's invested heavily in something else that will fail in the near future, forcing him to sell the club. I know they have a bunch of picks in the upcoming loaded draft, but I don't trust the ass-holes running the club. I hope something changes in the near future for this team.

Sell the Team you F-ing Headcase

I am done with Glen Taylor. I vow to never go to a game or purchase Wolves gear while he owns the team. I've always thought that Taylor had a screw loose but the comments he made yesterday have cemented that opinion. K.G. tanked the season? That man has the heart of a lion, his pride wouldn't allow him to tank even a single game. If he lost his leg in some freak accident he'd be out on the floor on crutches and still dominate on D. Just a couple days ago I saw him bashing the ball against his head for missing the first free throw. Thats not something new, that not something he picked up in Boston... he transformed their team with his competitive spirit, turned them into a defensive machine.

K.G. never worried about draft position, thats something that owners and VPs of basketball operations worry about. I think my 5 year old neighbor has more basketball knowledge, and shes a baseball kind of girl. First with the stupid handshake agreement that ruins my life every summer, then the Joe Smith debacle, then firing Flip, then Dwayne Casey now badmouthing the best player ever to wear your uniform? And on the day he took down the second longest consecutive win streak in the history of the NBA. Garnett doesn't want to address that situation after an important game like that. He wants to say "Luis Scola had a good game, but we knew this had to come to an end some time and we wanted to do it ourselves," or, "Powe played great tonight, this was a playoff atmosphere type game against the best team in the west and he stepped up, we all stepped up," not, "That's not my character. I'll let him speak if he wants to."

Get off my team, Taylor. You are quickly becoming the bane of my existence. Go ruin a team in another state.

My Penny Bracket

I've got a good 6 or so brackets floating around the internets and the outerntets, but I won't be talking about any of them except for "Abe Says" because I don't believe I'm in any position to be giving out advise on this subject, though I may gloat if I actually win one as that would be a first.

There are two rules I feel confident about giving and they are 1) Try to pick no more than 8 upsets (2 per region) in the first round* and 2) Don't trust one seeds as they have too much pressure to win the whole thing... I try not to put more than 2 in the final four.

Now onto Abe.

I decided to fill out an entire bracket decided by coin flips. Abe was the higher seed, his memorial the lower seed. I joined a large Yahoo group by the name of TUBBY SMITH in hopes of beating at least one of the other 500 people. I don't have a snowball's chance in hell of beating anybody.

Both Portland State and Texas Arlington immediately took out Memphis and Kansas. Amazingly in the east region North Carolina and Tennessee play in the elite 8 with Tennessee winning that game, but in the first round I have 4 upsets: South Alabama, Boise State, St. Joes and shifty fellows from George Mason who basically ripped everyone's bracket to pieces last year.

In the Midwest Siena and Nova join Portland state as the upsets. Wisconsin falls to Portland State in the elite 8 game.(Stupid coin)

In the South Temple, Cornell and Kentucky join Texas Arlington as the upsets. Pitt falls to Miami in the elite 8. Somewhere outside of Chicago Aaron Gray says, "I'd gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today."

In the west Baylor, Georgia and Belmont are the upsets and BYU takes UCLA out in the second round. West Virginia takes out BYU to make the final 4. I am left with one of the shittiest final fours ever. Tennessee is the only team with a legit shot to make it for real and West Virginia has a very, very outside shot but Portland State and Miami have no business being there. Luckily, they fall to their counterparts and I'm left with a game I would actually like to watch a game won by West Virginia. Somewhere Kevin Pittsnoggle goes, "Dude, I just got a map of Morgantown tattooed on my ass!"

Some anal retentive bastard out there is probably going, "wait both Miami and West Virginia were 7 seeds, how did he flip the coin?" I gave West Virginia heads because I like the Big East better than the ACC.

*I don't consider a 9 over an 8 an upset

Blake Hoffarber's (2nd) miracle shot

Blake Hoffarber must spend entirely too much time in the gym thinking up ridiculous shots to attempt in order to have presence of mind, timing and aim to to make this sort of shot. The shot was amazing and almost an exact duplicate of Christian Laettner's shot against Kentucky in 1992.

That shot allowed Tubby Smith's record of seasons with at least 20 wins to continue for a 15th year. It also kept the gophers dreams of an NCAA birth alive for another day... Unfortunately The Gophers lost today to Illinois and have about a snowball's chance in hell of making it.

This shot along with his Minnesota state tourney shot may have put Hoffarber on the radar for the NBA. The kid is pretty good for a freshman who was not Tubby's recruit and after 3 more years of playing with the guys Tubby convinced to play in Minnesota he just might end up being drafted in the second round or maybe even at the end of the first.

Amazing. Indiana had so many chances to win this game.

Rockets imitate Deke!

I can't tell if the Rockets are trying to imitate Dikembe Mutombo or Yoda. Either way this team is ripping shit up and it may be due to team chemistry like this.

The other day they became the 4th team ever to win 19 consecutive games. Rafer Alston, AKA Skip to My Lou and Shane Battier have stepped up in the absence of Yao Ming. The Rockets are now one game away from tying the best record in the west.

I don't think I've been this excited for the NBA playoffs since KG's MVP season.

Good luck Rangers

A so called "new and improved" Sidney Ponson signed with the Texas Rangers today. The rumors are that he has stopped drinking, lost weight and picked up some mph's. He obviously had enough time to work on all that last year. After the Twins let him go early in the season, I'm assuming he did some thinking and decided he didn't want to be known as a fat drunk pitcher who sported a curly mullet a few years too late.

Ponson threw just 37 2/3 innings last year with Minnesota. He went 2-5 with a 6.93 ERA and was released in early May.

I don't blame him, I wouldn't want that to be my stigma either.

Weighing about 20 pounds less than when the Cardinals released him 20 months earlier, Ponson exhibited a 93-94 mph fastball, a slider that touched 88 and a changeup that hit 84. An animal with bite replaced the rolling curveball seen two years ago.

That has to be promising for the Rangers. I'm just glad we don't have that old guy that Terry Ryan is giving a chance this year.

Ponson Works out for scouts.

Well that didn't last long

8 months ago, he was a major part in the biggest trade in the Wolves history, then about 3 weeks ago, he was competing in the NBA dunk contest with baked goods, but as of yesterday Gerald Green is no longer in the NBA.

The Rockets also waived guard/forward Gerald Green, who was acquired by Houston via trade with the Minnesota Timberwolves on Feb. 21, 2008.

It's weird to see someone make such a large transition in such a short period of time. If the kid from Houston can not make it with his hometown team, you wonder who he can make it with. From what I've read on Green,the general feeling is that he is uber talented, but lacks the work ethic to succeed at this level. If that is the case, he needs to take this opportunity to do some self evaluation and work on his game.

He would probably benefit from being on a roster with a load of veterans, possibly the Celtics or the Rockets, wait they just waived him. You can't really blame them, after losing Yao they needed to add some size. You wonder if he could end up back in Boston, they did seem to like the kid. I doubt this is the last we've heard of the kid from Houston.

I AM LEGEND's Alternate Ending WAY Better

Welcome to Minnesota, Mr. Hicks

In an effort to replace Mewelde Moore the Vikings have signed running back Maurice Hicks to the team. Hicks played for the 49ers last year and will play last resort in the run game and kick returner. Adding him as a kick returner makes me happy... I got pretty sick of watching Bobby Wade call for fair catches.

I'm not sure we'll see much of what we see in the video below considering we're got Purple Jesus running the ball, but its nice to know that he's got moves.

Oh yeah... did I mention that Hicks set the NCAA Division I and II single-game record with 437 rushing yards on 34 carries vs. Morgan State (10-6-01)? That might come in handy if one of our other backs gets a little dinged up during the season.

In related news I'd like ESPN to focus on football players that actually play football. He's gone.

Lunch Break: In your face Milwaukee edition.

What a morning. Favre is done in Green Bay, well at least for now, I'm guessing it's not the last we've heard of him. The Big Lead was all over this story this morning. The flags are at half staff in Wisconsin, and the rest of the country is cheering, well they are here in Minneapolis.

New wild psychopath winger Chris Simon is a Blogger. Well, I guess he's not a blogger but he told his story to Chris Snow. Here's a taste:

And, when I met with Jacques, it was a great thing, the way he explained my role. We had a meeting, and he said: "You're a hockey player first. You've scored goals in the past. I want you to play smart, physical. None of the other bull that has nothing to do with the game. If someone wants you to fight, you fight. You stand up for your teammates. No yapping."

That’s what in the past got me into trouble, the antagonizing, the verbalizing.

Once, during a game, I called Mike Grier a word I should never have used. I crossed the line. As soon as I said it, I knew I made a big mistake. Of anything I've ever done, that's the one that will stay with me always, the one that bothers me. It still does.

I apologized. He accepted my apology. And later, we were teammates in Washington. But, it's something that doesn't leave me.

In some site news, I may be changing the subject of this blog to strictly pac10 track and field. Allison Stokke is back and she is in College.



Also, so there isn't any confusion; St. Patrick's Day will be celebrated Saturday March 15th this year.

The alien has landed

Sam Cassell just cleared waivers and has signed with the Celtics. This will give the Celtics a veteran PG, who has a bunch of playoff experience (although he still looks funny. Rondo has looked great this year, but there is concern in Boston, that he lacks experience, which he does. This will give them a chance to take some of the pressure off the kid and he will gain that needed experience with the playing time he does get.

If someone had a gun to your head asking for a NBA finals match up, I think you'd be hard pressed not to pick a Lakers/Celtics final. That match up is so exciting to think about. The NBA has to be loving how this thing is working out. This year has been one of the more entertaining in a long time.

*(pic) I'm told that's how Sam arrived in Boston.

The Boston Globe: Cassell clears waivers, signs with Celtics

As I watch this the Washington Capitals have tallied 9 goals against the Bruins, 6 of which they got in the 1st period. I know this is anything but profound, but Ovechkin is fucking awesome (4 goals and 1 assist, so far). He is well on his way to 60 points, and a Hart Trophy. Another note: It's pretty amazing how bad the Bruins look.

Mewelde Moore to Teach Ben Roethlisberger How to Count

Former Vikings running back Mewelde Moore has agreed to a 3 year $4.95 million deal with the Pittsburg Steelers. Moore will backup "Fast" Willie Parker and Najeh Davenport, but will most likely see more time on the field than if he had stayed with the Vikings. I'm sure that Mike Tomlin was in the ear of the Steelers' GM telling him what a steal Moore is. I've always liked Mewelde and feel kind of bad that he was unable to get a larger role with the Vikings, though I obviously prefer Adrian Peterson and Chester Taylor.

The Steelers also made Ben Rothlisbeger the highest paid player in team history with an 8 year $102 million contract extension. When asked for comment on the contract Rothlisberger replied, "Der... I like turtles."

Other Former Vikings who have found a new home include Spencer Johnson who is moving to Buffalo and Dontarrious Thomas who is now a member of the 49ers.

Chuck Klosterman Gives the Cocoa Puff Treatment to KG

Chuck Klosterman is one of my favorite writers of all time. He took the Hunter S. Thompson route to fame focusing newspaper columns, magazine articles and publishing books that are nothing more than a combination of the previously mentioned articles and essays on everything pop culture. The dude covers everything, and I mean everything. Today he authored a fairly large article about Kevin Garnett and the Boston Celtics and what a difference a year makes. Do yourself a favor and click here.

If you enjoyed that you should go out to your local bookseller and purchase "Sex, Drugs and Cocoa Puffs", "IV", "Killing Yourself to Live", "Fargo Rock City" (He is from North Dakota), and look out for "Downtown Owl: A Novel" which should be out sometime later this year.

Da Bears Are Bery, Bery Angry at Berrian

I know I'm late on this one, but Bernard Berrian is now a member of the Vikings. It feels so good to steal one of the better members of a divisional foe's squad. Berrian is a speedster who can stretch the field while actually catching the ball. He'll be able to take the pressure off of the run game, and if all goes as I have it planned in my head he could be a big help in the development of Tarvaris Jackson as a QB and of Sidney Rice as a receiver. Jackson has never had a go to guy, Rice will benefit from extra coverage being thrown Berrian's way, and Purple Jesus will not see 9 men in the box every time he enters the game.

He's no Chris Carter or Randy Moss, but he's also not Troy Williamson. This team has a great defense that is aging, and if we want to take advantage of that defense we needed to pick up a quality veteran wide out. Berrian was 50 yards from a 1,000 yard season and hauled in 5 touchdowns. That's two more touchdowns than Williamson has in his 3 year career. I don't think well have a kick ass offense next year, but we might have a kick butt offense now that the passing game has a life.

On top of all of this we effectively squashed every ounce of offense out of the Bears. Who is their best receiver now? Devin Hester? Good luck, Rex. Maybe you should hand the ball off to... no, that didn't work last year. Maybe you should practice getting sacked and throwing the ball out of bounds.