Four underachieving overachievers putting a literary smackdown on sports, entertainment and anything else that pinches a nerve or tickles our collective funnybones
I found this on Hockey Wilderness last night and thought I'd pass it along what with the draft tonight and the lack of other sports news right now. I'm not so sure how I feel about this, I loved Into The Wild and can see where this satire is coming from but it just off in the hockey department. Apparently they decided to mispronounce Gaborik's name on purpose but there aren't enough people who know the correct pronunciation for that to be funny... I think they f'ed up after the film was already cut. I also don't know why the dude would be going to Ontario to win a contest with Minnesota's franchise player.
I also despise the Minnesotan accent... yes, Minnesotans have an accent but its never that pronounced unless you've spent your whole life in the sticks.
Even though I had stopped writing for so long, I have by no means slowed down on what I read on the intertubes. So here is a little taste of a few things I have found interesting lately in a NLCS Dinner Break.
-Michael Russo, over at the Star Tribune rips apart the "Demitra is unhappy" rumors running around the NHL. If you're not reading Russo's Rants, you are really missing out. He has been around the NHL since 1995 and is extremely connected to what's going on in the league. It's worth the daily stop for the 1.5 posts per day. He also had some great stats about Nik and my favorite Wild player Brent Burns today:
Here are some great Nik Backstrom stats dug up today by the Wild:– Nik Backstrom is 24-1-2 when leading at any point in a game — lone regulation loss coming Feb. 6 vs. Dallas when he led 2-0 and lost 4-2.
– Backstrom is 16-0-0 when leading after two periods.
– Since officially taking over starting role Feb. 1 for Fernandez, Backstrom ranks first in the NHL in wins (21-3-3), first in shutouts (six), first in goals against average (1.80), first in save percentage (.933) and second in win percentage (.833).
– He’s 22-3-3 in his last 28 decisions.
– He’s 13-0-1 in his last 14 decisions since March 6.
– Has allowed two goals or less in 15 straight regular-season starts.
On Brent Burns, he leads all NHL defensemen in goals since March 11 (six). He has four winning goals in that span, tied for the league lead among forwards and defensemen (Milan Michalek and Mike Comrie).
-INCH (INside College Hockey) has their pre-season All-Americans up, and they have 3 kids from UND on the 1st team. I wonder if that's a good or bad sign for them.
F - Nathan Davis - Miami F - Ryan Duncan - North Dakota F - T.J. Oshie - North Dakota D - Taylor Chorney - North Dakota D - Matt Gilroy - Boston University G - Jeff Lerg - Michigan State
The first and only Gopher on the list is Kyle Okposo, who is on the 3rd team. I expect him to finish higher on this list at the end of the season, the kid is too strong and talented not to.
-My brother who lives in Tempe, AZ and attends ASU is a bum and won't be attending the NLCS game tonight. He had some lame excuse about a test tomorrow, blah blah blah and that is a poor excuse because the game starts at 5pm local time down there. There is no way you can tell me that he won't have enough time to study. On top of this, if you went to www.stubhub.com today tickets for said game started at $5. People in Arizona are lame. For a little reference, tickets for Friday's ALCS game in Boston on stubhub start at $170. -One of my favorite bands Meriwether is making their Debut in Minneapolis next Wednesday, at the Varsity Theater. If anyone has time, check them out, they're a fun southern rock band.
-Carrot Top, no that's not his name, sorry it's Bobby Kielty will be starting for the Red Sox friday. I wonder how many ex-Twins have played so far in this years playoffs. We all know Kyle "grand slam" Lohse did.
SPOKEN WORD.......
edit:
I had to come back after all that, cause I have found something great, hat tip to The National Anthem Before a Cubs Game. Like Jon said, I hope this is one of many.
Blog, I'm sorry I have been gone for so long. You have been neglected. It's just that things haven't gone well in my sports universe lately. It has been hard, Iowa football sucks (some may say they always have (I won't be one of them)), The Twins sucked the season away, not that I care, but the Vikings blow (actually that's funny), and The Wild are just getting going (they got some help from drunk me, and friends Saturday).
I know I have made promises before to come back more often, and that usually is short lived, so this time I'm not making any promises, but I will try. I may need some motivations so here are a list of things a few things that make me happy:
The Yankee's season was only 4 games longer then the Twins. Go Indians.
I don't live in Chicago, suck it Bears, bring back Rexy already.
Ozzie Guillen will back next year.
Lists.
The Wild.
The NBA is back soon, which seems to give me plenty to write about.
That was short and sweet.
Anyway, If one doesn't work tomorrow afternoon, I suggest in tuning into ESPN2. Timberwolves vs Celtics in preseason play from Italy.
While I was gone a couple notable things happened regarding the sports teams in Minnesota That I thought were worth mentioning.
The AL All-star team was announced somewhere between Iowa and Wisconsin and I swear to god it took me 2 days to figure out which Twins made the team. The batting Champ was replaced by the MVP Torii got invited this year and Johan made it 3 in a row. Pat Neshek was included on the Internet vote for the final spot. Alas, the wacky, blogging reliever from Brooklyn Park was unable to overcome the terrible twosome that is the Red Sox nation and Japan. Hideki Okajima stole the final spot.
In other Twins news... Holy shit, they scored 32 against the White Suks today. Torii had one in each game, Dr. Morneau had 3 (in one game!), Gimpy Cirillo had one, Kubel displayed that power people keep on trying to tell me he has and Cuddy hit double digits in the HR catagory. In the second game of the double header Mike Redmond took a bat to the face invoking a strange rule that TNABACG explains. I'm calling it the Chris Hientz rulefrom now on
In Wolves news Kammron Taylor was added to the Summer league roster. I believe that this is a good pickup and though it will not fill the void left by Bracey, its a start. Stupid McHale.
The Wild signed Pierre Mark Bouchard Wes Walz to one-year deals and requested arbitration for Boogaard. They also Signed a dude on 'roids so that we have a chance of beating the Ducks. I will have my day, Earl.
The Vikings plan on raping you if you want to go to the Bears or Packers games. If you want tickets to those games you're gonna need to buy preseason games. Note to self- Hit up the August 10th or 30th preseason game to check out Adrian Peterson... people will be giving away tickets. Also, Kelly Holcomb would like to become the quarterback for the team, but Brad Childress still feels like the team isn't ready for quarterback at this point in time.
Summer is always the time for kids to go to camp.Parents send their kids to many different instructional camps.The Minnesota Wild’s Derek Boogaard has started a first in sports camps; fighting camp for hockey players.Sounds kind of like Fight Club, I wonder if anyone has multiple personalities.Derek is doing this camp with his brother Aaron, who just recently signed with the Pittsburg Penguins.
With people who are unfamiliar with hockey wanting the fighting aspect out of the game, this is sure to anger some.Be sure though Derek and his brother Aaron will not be teaching kids how to hurt other players.There will be no stick to the throat or tackle from behind drills.The majority of the camp is focused on balance, and technique of holding the other player.
“One of the radio stations said it’s a stupid idea, but that’s all right. No big deal. All the parents were happy with it, and we’re not teaching them how to hurt anybody.”
Fighting in sports is such a weird subject.Just last weekend you have the Cubs/Padres bench clearing brawl and only 2 players get suspended, Carlos Zambrano even took his belt off to do who knows what and he didn’t get suspended, he kept pitching.About a month ago two players from the suns walked 10 feet from their bench, didn’t touch anyone and got suspended.Earlier in the season the Knicks and Nuggets get into a little fisticuffs and people are talking about how our culture has failed and we should shut the NBA down.
Well I guess the people who get all bent about this are the main stream media anyways, who for the most part blow these thing out of proportion.Shit any time there is a fight that doesn’t involve a cheap shot (see stick to the throat) people want to see it.I think the fights in the NBA are more comedy then they are destructive (there are some exceptions: see Ron-ron).MLB won’t change their policies, they’re too worried about steroids from years ago, well maybe in 5 years they’ll go back and try to suspend more people involved in that fight last weekend, like they are trying with steroids.
The NHL will always have fighting.There are no two ways about it, it is needed in the game.If it’s not there too many people will get hurt.It is good to see a professional athlete teaching the right way to do his skill.Keep it going Boogey.
Yesterday I brought you a naked swimmer and today I bring you a swimming tiger. Bez pointed these pictures out to me the other day and since I had no theme for the lunch break I thought this would do. Today’s links are very Minnesota heavy so screw you, other 49 states in the union. There, I said it.
Baron's beard, Barns' faux hawk and Jackson's gap teeth will be moving on to the next round of the playoffs. The Mavs got manhandled all series, and looked nothing like the 67 game winning team that they claimed to be. On top of that Golden State is the best And1 team ever; they're exciting, fast and if Baron would just put the ball under his shirt and spin it around during a game basketball purists would come running out of the woodwork crying about what I will dub "Nu-Basketball."
Warriors fanshave photoshop fun at the expense of Sir Charles for backing the Mavericks.
Ever wonder what Joe Mauer says to the pitchers when he visits the mound?
What in the hell are you guys doing??? You could either be Mr. Irrelevant in the NBA draft or you could spend a year learning from Tubby Smith and not be in the Durrant/Oden/Gators draft class.
Hockey may be over for the Wild, but Randy Carlyle is keeping their spirit alive.
The wild were out sized, out matched, and out played… now they’re out. Would Johnsson and White have made a difference? Probably not... Ducks looked too good. We couldn’t take advantage of the power play and paid dearly for it. Now every Minnesotan will have to worry about the fate of Nikolas Backstrom.
Bloggers love their teams far too much. I probably would have given the wolves 40 wins what with that new point guard and the Celtics settling into their new home.
Mel Kiper causes pandemonium, NFL draft postponed. Speaking of the oily one... Sports Center in cartoon form. Hilarious and spot on. you might want to watch twice so you can read the ticker.
Buy a piece of Johan or Tiger in the sports stock market. Bez does this online, but Micheal Lewis suggests that this could become a reality. (long, but a must read)
Bracey Wright had 15 minutes 1 Reb 1 Ast 1 TO and 5 Pts in what will most likely be his last as a Timberwolf. Godspeed, Bracey, Godspeed… and get the hell out McFail.
Matt Millen has gotten himself into another predicament. Contemplates life, draft pick and secretary's naughty bits. Even ESPN employees don’t like watching their shows.
"Who are these people and why are they shouting at me?"
Neubie, Bez, Bits and I went to the game on Friday and something should have been posted yesterday, but I’m guessing most of us spent the day hung over and/or asleep. The day started early because Bits wanted to buy a jersey at the mall, and he is my chauffeur when I need to get to the city. After about three hours and some crazy good Chinese food we left the mall with a belt, some shorts and a silly-ass hat. Bits’ ladyfriend talked him out of the jersey and argued that the money would be better spent on her. I tried to explain the importance of owning a jersey to her, but to no avail. In fact it was I who almost left the mall with a Twins jersey- I found a Shannon Stewart one for $20 and I’m the type of asshole who shows up to a game with the wrong player on my back.
We hit up a bar before going to the game only to discover that there was no happy hour, which made us a bit unhappy. Bits, another friend and I sat in decent seats out in center field. Bez has season tickets so he sat in a different section. Neubie was just getting off work when the game started, so he was forced to iron his shirt on the light rail. Before the game got underway Morneau received his MVP award and I found out that Killebrew is the only American to have won the MVP in a Twins uni. I also found out that chicks from nowhere, South Dakota wear about an inch of make-up to a baseball game, I bet that dude tried to gnaw his arm off when he woke up yesterday.
Johan looked great in the first inning when he threw all of 4 pitches, but after that he looked a little shaky. Everybody knows that April is usually his worst month, and he is the best pitcher in baseball so there is nothing to worry about. I’m beginning to think that Akinori Iwamora is a damn good baseball player. That 5th inning sucked balls and Crawford’s 6th inning in the park home run came about 10 minutes after Bez nominated Josh Rabe for player of the game because he hates Kubel.
Not having the old guys in the line-up and no batting from the piranhas has hurt the Twins so far this year… oh course Bartlet did manage to get a hit yesterday and one in the game that we went to. We also caught Anthony Lapanta roaming through the section next to ours and stealing people’s signs, probably for “Circle me Bert.” Morneau’s blast went for a mile but it was futile. It sucked to watch Johan’s home win streak end but like he said he’ll just start a new one.
After the game we went out to catch the rest of the Wild game. A good number of people who sit in Bez’ section came with us. Eventually we left and Bez’ shoe broke, I danced with a lady, and Bits couldn’t get “a goddamn ham sandwich with cheese and alfalfa sprouts!” – no matter how many Jimmy Johns I tried calling.
With the Wild regular season coming to an end, and each game meaning more in terms of the division race it is time for us here at Some People’s Kids to focus more on my favorite hockey team. I am planning on doing either some sort of live-blog when possible and at the very least a write up on each game.
Today the Wild will face the Quebec Nordiques… no, The Colorado Avalanche... either way they are facing a team that probably won't be making the playoffs. Joe Sakic and Co. will attempt do what Calgary achieved in the last two games by coming off the ice with two points. Before the game starts I thought I'd take this opportunity to tell you that the Wolves suck even when KG has a 20 and 20 game and that Gilbert Arenas hates Micheal Ruffin. Back to hockey... with 4 games left the Wild still have a chance to take first in their division. Must. Stop. Typing... GAME ON!!!
18:39- Early power play goal by Gaborik, nice to start fast unlike the last one vs Calgary. 13:06- I have faith that Boogaard will use his fists today. 8:43- Harding has one hell of a save. Should third stringers be that good? Stupid officials are calling for a replay. We got screwed last time. No mas
1st Intermission The Wild survive the Avs first power play and outside of Gabby's goal there is not much excitement to speak of. Time to watch the heart wrenching sports story that always finds it's way onto a sportscast.
Period #2 17:32- Avs are on a power play. Didn't know this but the Avs are 11-1-2 in their last couple of games. 15:35- with 3 seconds left on the power play John Micheal-Liles scores a goal. 13:05- Boogaard smashes a dude and Burns ends up with a penalty. I definitely likes the last period better. 6:33- Avs score again. The Wild are putting themselves in a bad position with all of these penalties.
2nd intermission The wild escaped the rest of the period without giving up a goal, but I think Pavol Demitra Rolston and PMB will have to step up if we are going to win this thing. If we're going to lose this thing Boogaard is going to have to step up and crack some skulls... Poke his brains out!!
Period #3 19:36- Bastards start off with another penalty. This is beginning to look like a Wolves game. 14:18- Wicked! The Wild get a 5 on 3 for 40 seconds. Make me regret that last comment guys. 12:04- Horse Shoes and hand-grenades, fellas. Now is not the time to start losing hockey games 3:22- It's crunch time. We survived another power play, and now we need a goal like Tara Reid need rehab. 4.7- Harding got pulled but had to come back on after an off-sides.
We got killed by penalties and had only a hand full of shots on goal in the 2nd and 3rd periods. I'm making Bez do the rest of these so they stop losing. Time to watch the Final Four.
With the Wild regular season coming to an end, and each game meaning more in terms of the division race. It is time for us here at Some People's Kids to focus more on my Favorite hockey team. I am planning on doing either some sort of live-blog when possible and at the very least a write up on each game.
I’m not a big hockey guy, but I’ll try my best to make it look like I know what I’m doing. Bez can’t post tonight because of an “upper body injury” and a “general soreness” so I was forced to come off the bench and bring that fire.
First Period:
18:40-Backstom lets two goals in in less than two minutes. Now Harding is in. True to my theory of hockey I am destined to miss both goals while I’m trying to figure out how to do this thing live. 11:12- This game is nowhere near as fast as yesterday’s game even though the score says differently. Are there mascots in Hockey? Ours should be a Tree. 9:28- Theory blown. Wild score. Good job Mr. Burns :27.2- Another penalty for the period. Flames score while my back is turned writing. Bastards! Theory back on... must have been a fluke last time.
Between periods I see the trailer for EVAN ALMIGHTY- Steve Carell looks like one of the Geico cavemen with his beard. I also noticed that Anthony Lapanta has a little more control over his hair. I like to think he saw the letter and took those extra five minutes before the cameras turn on.
Second Period:
15:22 I think we need to send Boogaard in so that we can go on a power play. That seems to work. 10:30- The Wild are giving the puck back to the Flames too often. 2:00- They had a couple good shots on goal. Todd White just about scored from his chest :24ish- one hell of a shot, I'm amazed that that thing didn't go in. Kipprosoff is impressive.
I've been thinking about this for a while and I've come to the conclusion that the Wild should probably score two goals in this period... at least two goals.
Third Period:
14:53- Iginla gets a hat trick, Wild most likely get a loss. Boo Jerome, Boo. 12:11- Did you know that Iginla's full name is Jarome Arthur-Leigh Adekunle Tig Junior Elvis Iginla? Me either. 9:05- Nice hit! There will be some Calgary penalties for the little bit of fighting that we saw. I remember reading that Bettman said fighting was a part of hockey, did he forget to send the memo to the refs? 6:59- GGOOOOOAAAAAAALLLL!!!!!!!!!! Mr. Mark Parrish ladies and gentlemen. Luck is not on our side, if it had been 2 seconds earlier we still would have been on a power play. 2:53- Nice scramble for the puck. We didn't come away with a goal so I think the game is over.
Game over. First loss in regulation in 11 games. Sorry. My fault.
With the Wild there always seems to be some controversy surrounding who should be our goaltender. Last year we had Manny Fernandez and Dwayne Roloson, until we traded Dwayne away. After the trade Dwayne went on to carry the Oilers until getting hurt in the 1st game of the Stanley Cup Finals. This year it has been mostly Manny, with Nik Backstrom and bits of Josh Harding. The past 10 games or so, besides the one he missed due to injury, Nik has played and he has looked great. He got the opportunity to play due to Manny's injury. He has been consistent, which is something we have always lacked with Manny. To me there always seems to be one factor that gets overlooked in the goalie decisions that have been made here. This factor is the fact that Manny is the nephew, of Wild head coach Jacques Lemaire. Very little is ever made of this, but to me this seems to be a text book example of Nepotism. He may have earned all that he has gotten, but I feel that more should be made of this. I know that Lamaire is not the end all when it comes to decision making for this organization, and they have made some great moves. I just wonder what went into the decision to trade Roloson instead of Manny. I have read that Nik is going to start tonight, over Manny, which is hard to argue with, seeing how well he has played in the last ten. But he played just as well in the games when Manny was just getting rest. He seems so much more consistent then Manny, which we all know he never has been. He is always dealing with attitude issues. I wonder what is going to happen after this season, will Jacques just sign his family up for some more hockey or will the Wild make a change. I think that Harding and Nik can be the future of this organization, and I would like to see them take us to the next level. I hope the nepotism can be taken out of the decision.
