Kevin Garnett and Ray Allen on Letterman

Here is a far less crazy version of KG after winning his first championship.

"This one's for 'sota"

Those were among the first audible words out of Kevin Garnett's mouth when Michelle Tafoya attempted to interview him after he won his first championship. Things like that are why I love KG so much... he knows it's not the fan's fault that the GM of the Timberwolves is Kevin McHale. He knew that he needed to win a championship and that just wouldn't happen here, but he never forgot us and we never forgot him. I know its only been a year and it would be hard to forget any athlete that quickly, but I mean that as of August 1st, 2007 the state of Minnesota probably had more Boston Celtic fans than it had Minnesota Timberwolves fans.

I wish that things had gone differently and he could be celebrating that championship with a Wolves jersey on, but they didn't. Congratulations Mr. Garnett, you've made us all proud.

The Celtics Are Who We Thought They Were

The NBA finals are two games in and so far its been as one sided as it can get. Put aside the 4th quarter comeback in Game 2, because that game was a complete blowout until then. If anything, that comeback was good for the Celtics, a strong reminder that they can't get complacent when the get a lead against this Lakers team. Tonight Game 3 shifts to Los Angeles where the Lakers will no doubt play better than they did in Boston, because in my mind, they can't play a whole lot worse. The Lakers will win one, maybe two at home and the Celtics will finish this series off in 5 or 6 games. I've had the pleasure of watching the first two games in entirety and I have taken a couple things from doing so.

When the season started, everyone picked the Celtics to win the title after they got Kevin Garnett and Ray Allen via trade. During the regular season, the Celtics did nothing but enforce people's thinking, with the Celts compiling a 66-16 regular season record. They had the biggest one year turnaround in NBA history. And everyone was drooling over this team.

Then the NBA playoffs began. The Celtics first match-up seemed harmless enough, the Atlanta Hawks. Harmless enough to look past that is. The Celtics played brilliantly at home, and brutally bad on the road. The Hawks brought the Celtics to the brink, to which Boston responded with a 34 point blowout in Game 7. This is when everybody started to question the Celtics. Were they tough enough? Was this the team that we thought they were? Was this team built for the playoffs, or just a fantastic regular season? After 3 losses...

Second round brought more of the same. Three great games at home. Three horrible games on the road. And the doubts grew louder. For me, the only game that got me worried was Game 6 in Cleveland in which the Celts only scored 69 points and failed to score more than 20 points in any quarter. Despite Boston coming back in Game 7 for the series win behind Paul Pierce's 41 point masterful performance. But by then, most people outside of Boston were off the bandwagon. Most analysts I heard predicted the Pistons would beat the Celtics in the Eastern Conference Finals. I think this doubt may have crept into the Celtics mind and instead created a new motivation; to prove people wrong. The KG's showed marked improvement and even won two road games along the way in advancing to the NBA Finals for the 1st time since 1987. But still, people weren't drinking the kool-aid.

This time, they may have had good reasoning, the Celtics opponent, the Los Angeles Lakers had breezed through the Western Conference playoffs, including a 4-1 whoopin' of the usually formidable San Antonio Spurs. They had the newly named MVP of the league in Kobe Bryant. All but about two people I saw picked the Lakers to win, some in 5 games, some in 6 games. Were these people watching the same team I was watching all year long?? The best defensive team in the league. The team with the best FG% against defense. The team with 3 future hall of famers. The team with the best home record in the NBA. The team with the best road record in the NBA. The team that had beat the Lakers twice during the regular season, albeit without Pau Gasol. I guess they weren't. The first two games in Boston were defined by brutal bad defense by the Lakers and brutally good defense by the Celtics. Boston held the best player in the NBA, Kobe Bryant, to around 40 % shooting, after limiting him to 33% shooting during the regular season. Pau Gasol has been greatly outplayed by Kevin Garnett. Gasol looks as soft as freshly baked bread. Lamar Odom, having his best overall season of his career, looks completely lost. Boston has out-hustled, out-rebounded, and out-worked this Lakers squad. After the last game, the Zen-Master, Phil Jackson, complained that Leon Powe, a little used reserve who went off in Game 2 for 21 points, went to the free throw line more than his entire team did. There's a simple reason. The more aggressive team ALWAYS gets the calls. Its that way in every form of basketball at every level. Anyone who watches this series can see that, so far, his team is settling for jump shots and getting beat to every loose ball.

Things may change a great deal tonight in Game 3 in Los Angeles. I will not be surprised if the Lakers win this game. The crowd will be going crazy and its enough to help them win one. But they just can't win this series after the performance they showed in the first two games of the series. They wont be able to beat the Celtics 4 out of 5, of which two of those games are in Boston. I'm not just saying this because as many know, we have a rooting interest in seeing Kev win his first title. And I'm not saying this because the Lakers are a bad team, because they aren't by any stretch of the imagination. The Lakers are probably the best passing team that I have seen in the NBA since I have been old enough to understand these kinds of things. But you can't get past a team that, right now, refuses to lose. You can't get past Paul Pierce's will to win. And you can't get past KG's heart. All that, plus a 2-0 lead, adds up to a parade down the middle of downtown Boston in about a week and a half.

Sell the Team you F-ing Headcase

I am done with Glen Taylor. I vow to never go to a game or purchase Wolves gear while he owns the team. I've always thought that Taylor had a screw loose but the comments he made yesterday have cemented that opinion. K.G. tanked the season? That man has the heart of a lion, his pride wouldn't allow him to tank even a single game. If he lost his leg in some freak accident he'd be out on the floor on crutches and still dominate on D. Just a couple days ago I saw him bashing the ball against his head for missing the first free throw. Thats not something new, that not something he picked up in Boston... he transformed their team with his competitive spirit, turned them into a defensive machine.

K.G. never worried about draft position, thats something that owners and VPs of basketball operations worry about. I think my 5 year old neighbor has more basketball knowledge, and shes a baseball kind of girl. First with the stupid handshake agreement that ruins my life every summer, then the Joe Smith debacle, then firing Flip, then Dwayne Casey now badmouthing the best player ever to wear your uniform? And on the day he took down the second longest consecutive win streak in the history of the NBA. Garnett doesn't want to address that situation after an important game like that. He wants to say "Luis Scola had a good game, but we knew this had to come to an end some time and we wanted to do it ourselves," or, "Powe played great tonight, this was a playoff atmosphere type game against the best team in the west and he stepped up, we all stepped up," not, "That's not my character. I'll let him speak if he wants to."

Get off my team, Taylor. You are quickly becoming the bane of my existence. Go ruin a team in another state.

Chuck Klosterman Gives the Cocoa Puff Treatment to KG

Chuck Klosterman is one of my favorite writers of all time. He took the Hunter S. Thompson route to fame focusing newspaper columns, magazine articles and publishing books that are nothing more than a combination of the previously mentioned articles and essays on everything pop culture. The dude covers everything, and I mean everything. Today he authored a fairly large article about Kevin Garnett and the Boston Celtics and what a difference a year makes. Do yourself a favor and click here.

If you enjoyed that you should go out to your local bookseller and purchase "Sex, Drugs and Cocoa Puffs", "IV", "Killing Yourself to Live", "Fargo Rock City" (He is from North Dakota), and look out for "Downtown Owl: A Novel" which should be out sometime later this year.

When will a Minnesota team Play for the present?

(I know how Matt feels after hearing that Johan is gone)

The owners in this town have been breaking my heart for as long as I can remember and its a bunch of bullshit. Stop telling me that we're a small market and its impossible to make money off of the respective teams. You don't continue running a business for 10 plus years that is always in the red unless you're already loaded and can use it as a tax write off. Once, just once, I want one of these teams to really go for the glory. I'm sick of losing stars because of ownership and management.

You're probably saying that the Timberwolves did it back in KG's MVP year. You're right, but when everything want down the drain the next year the team fired it's coach instead of the stars causing all of the trouble. Then they got rid of the stars causing all of the trouble almost immediately. This last year they got rid of the one man I associate with the team. I know this was the right thing to do under the circumstances and we got some value out of the deal, but if Kevin McHale had never been the VP of whatever the hell his title is this would not have needed to happen. Flip was the scapegoat.

McHale bet on Starbury, gave KG the biggest contract the NBA had ever seen, cost the Wolves 5 picks over Joe Smith and gave undeserved contracts to a handful of players including Troy Hudson. Is the future bright after the last 5 or so games we've seen from the Wolves and the knowledge that Al Jefferson didn't take a max contract? Yes, but the future is always bright in this frozen godforsaken hell hole. (I don't really mean that, its just so cold out right now)

Maybe you argue that the Vikings are doing things the proper way now through the draft and have the future best running back of all time. (knock on wood) Agreed, unfortunately the defense that is best against the run and has it's passing numbers inflated because of that is getting older by the day. Pat Williams, Darren Sharper and Antoine Winfield- all pro-bowl caliber players, are not getting any younger and the defense can only score so many points a game. We need sacks and we need an air game and those positions don't usually produce at a high level in their first year. We have nothing to show for letting Randy Moss go and all we got for Culpepper was Ryan Cook, the weakest link in a strong offensive line. They probably give me the most hope for a championship in the near future, but they won't be playing the Patriots this time next year.

Maybe you're saying that the Wild blah, blah, blah... you gotta understand I don't follow hockey, I watch it when its on. You want some solid analysis of the teams chances to bring me a trophy to celebrate you should go and ask Bez. He likes that shit... I just think its pretty and bloody and sometimes its pretty bloody.

Same goes for that Lacrosse team, and that women's basketball team, and college doesn't count because everything is too unpredictable.

Maybe you're saying the Twins have consistently made the playoffs or come close since the turn of the century. Carl Pohlad has 2.6 million dollars. If he signed Santana for $200 million for an 8 year contract (more than he wants) that would be less than one percent of our owner's total worth... he would have kept this contender together into his brand new stadium which we paid for. I realize that the salaries in Baseball are out of control, but we're talking about the best pitcher in baseball. I know Santana wanted to be on a bigger stage, but money like this could suade him to stay.

He's gone and its too late. Now my problem is the choice of packages. I wanted to take the Yankees deal with major league ready talent to go along with a team that is pretty good minus the greatest pitcher playing today. The World of B makes a good point about those who say that deals for star players have worked out for this team in the past. This is not A good player... this is THE greatest player in his prime. We should have been able to get more than what we got. Wait one week and maybe we get one or more of these teams to throw in that last piece we've been asking for.

I can't bring myself to wear a Yankees cap just to ensure that I get to celebrate a championship once every decade. I can't watch the Celtics without watching Allen and KG together and thinking about what would have happened if they'd started playing together back in the 90s on my team and changed the course of history. I won't be able to watch this Sunday's game without thinking that Joe Buck has something to do with Randy Moss being a Patriot and not on the Viking's sideline as part of a very explosive offense to go along with that dangerous defense. ( I know that is crazy far fetched and Red McCombs is really to blame, but I hate Buck and I hate how he handled that FAKE moon in Lambeau and how McCombs used it as reasoning to get rid of a hall of fame caliber receiver)

I just can't handle losing another phenomenal player. I've decided to brace myself for Adrian Peterson's departure today. I'm not doing this again. On behalf of Minnesota sports fans I say Fuck you world. Stop stealing my joy.

Thank God Almighty!

The Wolves won. Their victory made me realize that I have my own dream.

Two years less a score Marv Wolfenson and Harvey Ratner, in whose symbolic shadows we stand today, signed the expansionation proclamation. This momentous decree came as a great beacon light to thousands of Minnesotans who had been frostbitten by the winds of withering injustice. It came as a joyous ray of sunshine to end the long winter of discontent.

But eighteen years later, the Minnesotan is still not free. The life of a Minnesotan is still sadly crippled by the manacles of ineptitude and the chains of it's ownership. The Minnesotan lives on an island of poverty in the midst of a vast ocean of material prosperity (Portland?). And so we've come here today to dramatize a shameful condition.

We have come to this hallowed spot to remind the NBA of the fierce urgency of now. This is no time to engage in the luxury of cooling off or to take the tranquilizing drug of gradualism. Now is the time to make real the promise of victory. Now is the time to lift our team from the quicksands of injustice to the solid rock of brotherhood. Now is the time to making winning a reality for all of the shivering children.

It would be fatal for the ownership to overlook the urgency of the moment. This freezing winter of the team's legitimate discontent until there is an invigorating spring of defense and teamwork. There will be neither rest nor tranquility in Minnesota until the Timberwolves are granted the right to victory.

But there is something I must say to my team, who stand on the warm threshold which leads to the palace of parquet and iron: in the process of gaining our rightful place, we must not be guilty of wrongful deeds. Let us not seek to satisfy our thirst for victory by drinking from the cup of bitterness and hatred. We must forever conduct our struggle on the high plane of dignity and discipline. We must not allow our creative defense to degenerate into violence. Again and again we must rise to the majestic heights of physical force with contact on the ball and the ball alone.

We cannot walk alone. (Travel)
And as we walk, we must pledge that we shall always push the ball forward.
We cannot turn our back. (on the ball handler)

There are those that will ask the fans, "When will you be satisfied?" We can never be satisfied as long as the team is victim of the unspeakable horrors of road losses. We can never be satisfied when our bodies, heavy with fatigue and travel, cannot gain the upper hand in the Arenas along the highways and the Gardens of the cities.

Let us not wallow in the valley of despair, I say to you today, my friends.

And so even though we face the difficulties of today and tomorrow, I still have a dream. it is a dream deeply rooted in the American dream.

I have a dream that this team will rise up and live out the true meaning of it's creed, " We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all teams are created equal."
I have a dream that Al Jefferson will make us all forget about Kevin Garnett.
I have a dream that Randy Foye can make up for his not being Brandon Roy.
I have a dream that Sebastion Telfair is the truth and not just a throw in to make the money work.
I have a dream that the Wolves will actually get the number one pick when they deserve it.
I have a dream that one day I will open the front page and it will contain these four words- McHale, Whitman, Murder, Suicide

I have a dream today!

I have a dream that Theo Ratliff's contract along with the other expiring contracts will be enough to coax a worthy free agent into the snow an blistering cold.
I have a dream that we will make the right decision when deciding which SG/SFs to keep and get good value out of those who no longer remain on the roster.
I have a dream that this team will free itself from the dungeon that is the bottom of the NBA standings. And we will let freedom ring.

And when this happens, when we allow freedom ring, when we let it ring from every village and every hamlet, from every lake and every hill, we will be able to speed up that day when all of God's children, black men and white men, Protestants and Catholics, we will be able to join hands and sing in the words of that old Spiritual

free at last, free at last
Thank god almighty, we are free at last!

This is meant in no way to be disrespectful to Dr. King or any of his beliefs. He has done more for this nation than a good number of presidents and did it all in a way that would seem impossible if I hadn't seen the footage with my own eyes. If you have taken offense to this I sincerely apologise. Unless you are Kevin Mchale- seriously, its time to leave dude.

Happy Martin Luther King Jr. Day.

They'd still suck but...

I've been thinking about the Wolves lately and I feel that I've relegated them to the back of the blog for too long. I chose the old wolves logo because that is what this team reminds me of- The Pre-KG not talent all-stars. I remember going to Wolves games with my father shortly after the birth of the franchise and cheering on Felton Spencer, asking Luc Longly for an autograph (I still have it around here somewhere, Tom Gugliota's too), and most of all that long wait for the first in-person win. I swear it took a good 3-4 years of going to a handful of games a year to finally see a victory.

The thing is that I believe in this team way more than I did in those teams. I believe in Randy Foye and Craig Smith. I believe that one day Al Jefferson will make us forget about KG. I believe that all Marko Jaric needed to get his game jump started was some Brazilain supermodel NaNa. I believe that the player everyone more or less thought was a throw in to help even out money issues could be our point guard for years to come. I'm beginning to think that this team should move Foye to his natural two spot and use our lottery pick on O.J. Mayo or Derrick Rose and put them behind Sebastion Telfair for a while. I'm leaning towards Rose because I have a feeling that Mayo would do like Eli Manning or like Kobe and never step foot in Minnesota.

I don't want to stray too far from the reason I even began writing this, the fourth quarter free fall. It didn't happen tonight, though they still lost, but this team seems to keep me entertained and keep my hopes alive through the first three quarters only break my heart in the final 12 minutes. I did a little research and found that this team would be 10-16-1 if the game only lasted 36 minutes. We held the lead in all four of our actual wins against The Kings, The Hornets, The Suns and The Pacers. We had the lead against Atlanta twice, The Spurs, The Nuggets, The Heat and The Wizards in a game which included a healthy Arenas (scored 27 that night).

If we had that record our team would be better than New York, Chicago, Miami, The Clippers, Memphis, tied with Charlotte and Seattle would be below us in our own division. I'd like to know what Kind of affect "Fourth Quarter" Foye would have on this teams record or what will happen when hes back on the floor and in good health. I'd also like to see what a steady rotation would do for this team. I guess the only real difference would be seen in draft position, the difference between picking Derrick Rose or Roy Hibbert if we really turned it on in the next few months.

I guess I'd just like to see this team play an entire game instead of just watch their opponents take over. I guess I'd just like to see the team play more like the teams that this logo reminds me of.

Lunch Break: Boston Cream Pie edition

Boston, Boston, Boston. The Sawx are 8-0 in World Series games under Francona, The Pats are destroying teams and helping me out in fantasy (Thank you Mr. Brady) and The Celtics are about to open the season with possibly the best trio of all-star players ever assembled in history and with the man who has lead my team since I was in grade school. Oh yeah, and Boston College is still ranked #2 in the BCS.
Minnesota? We’re gonna lose Torri Hunter. Our football team has the most explosive back to hit the league running since LT, but no semblance of a passing game. Our basketball team is going to wreak (but we do have talent and draftpicks). Hell our college football team can’t even beat a team from North Dakota. At least our Hockey team is better than anything in Boston.

Kevin Garnett talks to Dime Magazine about his friendships in the association.

Glen Taylor gives two goll-darn interviews where he talks doody about anyone and everyone who is no longer with the team.

The Wolves have decided to pay Juwan Howard not to play for the team. (and probably end up as a member of the Celtics)

Do not hunt with this man and his dog.

Marrisa Miller has her own Fathead… which makes way more sense than an athelete.

UND is gonna get all PC, and still probably pound the Gophers for the next 10 years.

A-Rod won’t be playing for the Yankees, and Peter Gammons calls him out on his impeccable timing.

The Twins pick up Joe Nathan's option. Totally unexpected, totally.

FreeDarko (probably the best Basketball blog ever) predicts what every single NBA player will do this season. I wish that I’d had time to put up the Wolves roster because they are killer and spot on.

Holy Crap the Hawks won.

Ricky Buckets, Largest Small Forward in the League No Longer Have to Play on our Shitty Team

It looks like the Wolves traded Ricky Davis and Mark Blount to the Miami Heat today. In return we'll get Antoine Walker, Micheal Doleac and Wayne Simien, but don't worry because Doleac and Simien have expiring contracts. According to ESPN we also get a future first rounder. For those of you keeping track at home that's some good shit... 3 expiring contracts next year, 3 1st round draft picks, one less year on Walker's contract than Blount's and a bunch of young kids with promise down the road. As far as the 1st round draft picks go I'm not sure what year the Heat's will be and technically one of the Celtic's picks was originally ours.

With Blount and Buckets gone I think the team will put up more assists, grab more boards and have a higher 3pt percentage. That won't translate into more wins this year, but hopefully this sort of play will become a theme of the new look Wolves. I think it will also help with team chemistry... I don't know for a fact that Ricky Davis has a bad attitude but I always sort of got that feeling and I heard that Blount and Big Al have had something going ever since their days in green.
For those of you who don't know Doleac is a Center who averages 3.4 rebs and 5 points. Simien is a forward who averages 2.9pts and 1.4 rebs. Antoine Walker's production has been steadily decreasing over the years, but that will probably pick up a bit on a team full of kids. Last year he averaged 8.5 pts and 4.3 rebs but his career average is 18 pts almost 8 rebounds and 3.7 assists. I don't know what this will do to the roster seeing as we already have too many players. This most likely makes Rashad McCants our starting Shooting guard and moves Chris Richards up in the depth chart.

If I were McHale my first move would be to buy out Simien's contact, which is just a shade under a million. My second move would be to sign the shit out of Al Jefferson... Lock that kid up, but in a non franchise crippling way. My third move would be to trade that gimpy Mark Madsen back to the Lakers for a hot Cheerleader. I don't like when my cheerleaders are 6-9, 250 lbs and have a set of balls.
I'm so excited for basketball to begin. Seriously. The Wolves may suck, but there is finally a good reason for it. We'll get to see some really talented kids lose on an almost daily basis and all of that yummy cap space we've been piling up over the summer will allow us pick and choose who we want to keep on our team and who we want to try and lure into the snow.

If you want more literature on the trade go here, she finds it all.

Things that Suck

In honor of Bez's Michael Jordanesk return to the Blog, I have come up with a couple things, not that make me happy, but that really make me upset. Not in a "throw things against the wall" way, but in a "shake my head in your general direction" type of way. Here goes...





Kids on Leashes

Whoever came up with this has got to be the dumbest Mo Fo out there. I'm aware that these have been around a while, but I saw them for the first time this summer at the Minnesota State Fair. I tell ya, it blew my damn mind.. Listen, for all those who are confused, Kids are not Animals! Is it that hard for your lazy ass to walk hand and hand with your child. If you can't pay enough attention to them to keep an eye on them, don't bring them with. Its that simple. Having your kid on a leash since birth is the stuff Mental Hospitals are made of. These are probably the kids that are gonna grow up and pull a Columbine on us. Do the rest of us a favor and stop being an idiot.


Stewart Scott's "Spoken Word" Poetry on Sportscenter

Last night on Sportscenter, Stew broke down the Celtics-Timberwolves highlight by doing a very poor impression of Mos Def or Maya Angelo. I tried to follow some of it, but then, when it didn't rhyme or sound good, it lost me. I know SC is trying to mix things up and not give us the same show every night, and thats all well and good, but please put a stop to this madness. We get it, Stew's black. You don't have to do your best to remind us every night. I want to hear the sports and see the highlights. You have done an excellent job for almost 30 years. Just keep it simple, stupid. I'll take your "Bou-Ya"s and "Cool as the other side of the pillow" lines, and I'm not standing for anymore of this..


MLB Free Agency

This is further proof why the Twins will always be mediocre. There's no stopping it. When you hear that Carlos Silva and Kyle Louse are going to be commanding big contracts this year, the world has officially ended. The free agent market keeps getting crazier and crazier, and when our favorite club refuses to catch up with the times, it seals its own fate. I read somewhere that if ARod opts out of his contract, his agent, Scott Boras, hopes to command somewhere in the neighborhood of 500 million for his next contract. At first, it blew my mind, but then I realized, this is what we have come to. When does it stop? Teams can build all they want through the minor leagues, but its only short lived. When their young studs hit free agency, its over, because only a few clubs out there can afford them, or are willing to spend the money to keep them. Parity is what makes the NFL so great. Free Agency in Major league Baseball with no Salary Cap will make damn sure that "parity" isn't ever even mentioned in the same sentence.


NFL "Timeout Rule"

It was clever the first time someone did it. It was crafty the next time someone did it. Now, its become downright bad for the game. You know the rule, team lines up for Field Goal. Right before the snap, other team calls a timeout at the very second before the team gets the play off, effectively ruining what might be a game-winning, tear jerking moment. Its happened to the Raiders, the Browns, the Auburn Tigers, and this past Monday night to the Dallas Cowboys. Sometimes it works out the same way, as the team still makes the kick. But other times, the team misses on the second try.. I know that the object of the game is to win, but not like that. I think this rule will be short lived as there is already talks in place to change it starting next year. And good riddance, although this wont be the last time we see this this year.




Combo Platter: Sunglasses indoors/ Popped Collars



You know who you are. If you wear sunglasses when its 40 degrees, cloudy, and raining. If you popped your polo shirt collar in any weather. You are what we in the "biz" like to refer to as a DBAG. You aren't Tom Cruise or Puffy. Even though you do some drugs, you aren't Lindsey Lohan. You're Joe Smo. You don't look good. You look like a moron. Its not a fashion statement when people know you are doing for that reason. There is a kid in one of my classes that commits both these fashion faux pas at once.. It takes every ounce of me, not to beat him. Enough said.

Runner up: Men wearing Pink, Dog Purses, Trucker Hats


Kevin Garnett in a Celtics' Uniform.



Not Cool. Big time Suck. Tear.


Skip Bayless, ESPN's "1st and 10" show

It happened a couple years back, with the emergence of shows like "PTI" and "Around the Horn," long time sports writers being thrust into the limelight of television. These writers, working mostly behind the scenes for their entire careers, are now household names. Most of them are knowledgeable and some are even humorous at times. But one thing they all have in common is that they are all old. No where on any of these shows do you see a young, upbeat sports writer come on to discuss sports, with the exception of maybe Michael Smith. For the most part its crotchety old men. None of which is more so then Skip Bayless. I get annoyed hearing this guy talk, let alone actually listening to what he has to say. Sometimes I think he just says things for the shock value of it all, and not because he has a real opinion on something. He is the epitome of what is wrong with these shows. That someone like this clown is famous. And he is suddenly everywhere. He is a regular on the aforementioned "1st and 10" as well as being a guest on recent Sportcenters and on talk radio stations. For the love of god, get this grumpy, old, stuck in the 70's man off the screen, and back where he belongs. Writing in boring newspapers. And dump that show, nobody watches it and its horrible.

KG Looks Weird in Green

I couldn't find any video of the game that took place between our Timber Wolves and The Boston Celtics but here is a highlight of the Celtics first game featuring the "Big Three"... individually known as Kevin Garnett, Paul Pierce and Ray Allen.

Ray Allen did most of the scoring (28 Pts). My Favorite Timberwolf (I will continue to call him this regardless of jersey) had 9pts, 6 rebs,2asts, 3 blocks. Ricky Davis was the high scorer for the T-wolves which angers me as he is probably my least favorite player on a team full of players that I don't even know.

The former Celtics did ok; Bassy had 9pts and 3 asts, Ratlif had 6pts and 2 blocks,Gomes had 9pts and 4 rebs, Green had 4 pts and the most interesting piece we got in return had 5 pts, 2 blocks and 6 rebs in the 92-81 loss in London.

Rashad McCants had 11 points and 4 rebounds which hopefully means that his knees are back at 100%. Randy Foye, however, had no points in 8 minutes. Hopefully they just wanted to start figuring out the backup PG position and he isn't injured.

Get ready for a lot of losses this year. Hopefully this team can still put an exciting product on the court.

P.S. I'm going to miss Trenton Hassell.

Too many MCs not enough Mics

I know that Baseball is in full swing and we are now just getting to the entertaining part of NFL training camp but I just can't get over the Timberwolves. I'm probably the last person that should be trying to figure out the roster for next year, but this team has way too many players that play the same position (2 &3) and too many players in general. I'm going to try to go through the roster, make some hypothetical trades, balance veterans and newbies and get this team down to the 12 active players allowed by the NBA. This is going to be hard and I know the post is going to be long, but bear with me.

The easiest problem to solve is Chris Richards. The teams second round draft pick out of Florida is going to have to spend at least one year in the NBDL. Hopefully while there he will be turned into more of a center and will only have to wait until Theo Ratliff's big contract is up or he goes down for the season. Whichever comes first.

Theo Ratliff is going to spend the season as the backup center. Mark Blount will probably be the starter. I really don't care who starts, but I like the idea of this tandem. They are Yin and Yang. Blount is finesse and can come in when the team is down and in need of some points. Ratliff can come in when the D needs to keep the lead. He's gritty, a rebounder and a shot blocker. Granted I don't believe that he'll be 100% but if he is good enough to play he can bring the D that this team has been lacking. Between Ratliff and Jefferson they can equal or do better than one defensive KG not to mention the other power forwards I'll be keeping on this roster.

Al Jefferson is a no-brainer. McFail and Taylor better get a contract extension in front of him and soon, if not they had better find a spot in the witness protection program because every basketball-loving bastard in the state is going to be out for blood. You don't give up KG and let the best piece of the puzzle get away. He stays.

The backup to Jefferson is going to be Juwan Howard. I know he is old balls like Robert Horry, but I want him on the team to help Jefferson and Craig Smith and/or Ryan Gomes. He'll be a great teacher for the young guys and hopefully he'll have a calming demeanor and interject some veteran presence when it’s needed.

My major problem with this roster is that 5th big man. I want to see Smith and Gomes battle it out in training camp for the final spot, but I feel like I'm going to pair one of their cheaper salaries and upside with Marko Jaric or Mark Madsen in order to get a team to bite on a trade. Wikipedia claims that 6 of the 16 players currently on the roster are Power Forwards. We've already sent Richards to the NBDL and given 2 spots on the roster other 4s, plus Howard can play center when necessary. The two vying for my last spot are the same height and while Gomes had a better average over the season Smith averaged 21 pts and 10 rebs when he started the last 5 games. It comes down to intangibles when they are only going to be allotted so many minutes. I think I'll go with Smith seeing as he and Foye have meshed while Jefferson and Gomes share the same position and there won't be that same kind of connection on the court.

The ESPN Trade machine says that there are trade restrictions on all of the Boston players and Juwan, so I've decided to have Smith and Gomes duke it out in camp. If Smith loses he gets bunched with one of the players I'll try to trade. If Gomes loses I'll deal him for a draft pick and some cash if I can get it.

We're going to skip the Shooting guard and small forward for the moment because those positions are the others that give me problems.

As for Point Guard I'm going to stick with Randy Foye as the starter even though it's not his natural position. This hurts me, but there are so many interchangeable parts in the 2/3 positions and I see football players change positions when they are drafted all the time. Sebastian Telfair is going to stick around as my backup PG as long as he can keep his guns locked up in a cabinet somewhere far away from the team.

Now I've got 5 spots left and two positions to fill. Starting shooting guard is going to be Ricky Davis for the time being. I'd like to trade him later down the road because of the prima donna ways and what I've read about possible bad blood between him and Jefferson. His backup is going to be Rashad McCants. I want Shaddy's minutes to expand, but I want his micro fracture surgery fully healed. Plus I still feel like he's got some learning to do after all of that missed time.

I think I'd like to keep my 3 shooting forwards on the team. I feel like they've all got something to bring to the table. I have a good feeling about Gerald Green… not just because he is so young or because he won the Slam Dunk competition. Green had to sit behind Paul Pierce and Wally Szczerbiak. He'll be my scoring SF. Trenton Hassell will be my veteran presence. I love Trenton so I'm going to keep him around but he is going to be trade bait in a year. His job is to teach Corey Brewer everything he has learned about defense. Brewer is going to get the fewest minutes of the bunch, with Green and Hassell switching in and out in a similar fashion to our Center position; Green to get the lead, Trenton to keep it.

That leaves 3 men out not including our NBDL bound friend Mr. Richards: Marko Jaric, Mark Madson and most likely Gomes. Gomes is easy to get rid of, but like I said before I may have to part with Smith in order to rid myself of Mark and O. I heard a rumor that Detroit wanted Marko Jaric for Nazr Mouhammed, which I'm totally down with, and Madson and Smith for Lindsay Hunter worked, so I'd like to work out a deal with Detroit. If we got Hunter in here he could spend his final contract year teaching Foye how to play point and Bassy how to stop pointing guns.

I know I just spent far too much time rambling but I've come up with a team. Gomes gets traded for a pick. Mad dog and Smith end up in Detroit. (I know. I hate that I got rid of two young players, but being a GM is hard and you can't please everybody.) Three deep at PG Foye starts, Bassy plays second fiddle and Hunter teaches. Starting shooting guard is Ricky Buckets with McCants backing up. Marko Jaric clings to the end of the bench waiting for someone to injure himself while Jaric tells himself that he can play 1-3. The crowd sits and laughs knowing that he can't even properly shave the stubble off of his face. Small Forward is taught and started by Hassell with Mr. Green as our 6th or 7th man and Brewer slowly adapting to the higher level of play. Al Jefferson Starts at Power Forward backed up by Juwan Howard. Mark Blount Starts at Center and Theo Ratliff backs him up. If a smaller lineup is needed or one of the center/ Forwards gets hurt Brewer or Hassell can slide to the PF for a minute or two.

I know that's 13, but someone is going to get injured during camp and as soon as they get better someone else will get injured. This is basketball people! There are always injuries. That leaves us with Lindsay Hunter, Theo Ratliff and Ricky Buckets in their final years. Same goes for Foye, Green, Jefferson, McCants and Telfair but some if not all will be resigned using. The veteran contracts add up to almost 21 million to add to the 15.8 million worth of yummy cap space that we have already got stock piled and the almost 4 million in trade exceptions (Which I tried to fully understand). That 37 million is enough to handsomely reward Foye and Jefferson and still go after another big name. Right?

Written by the Muck-up (photo from I heart KG)

Terry Ryan was Right!... The Solution WAS from Within

Little did we know...


We all thought Terry Ryan was nuttier than squirrel turds. We thought that the Twins needed to make a deal before the deadline to try and win the division. All we had to do was look in our own backyard. All we had to do was go to 600 First Avenue. The Secret Weapon? The Ticket...

It only took a moment for the Boston Red Sox to capitalize on Minnesota's mistake. Funny, this sounds like an all too familiar story. Oh yeah, that Papi guy. Yeah, he turned out to be ok. The Boston Globe is reporting today that Kevin Garnett will take over Julian Taveras' rotation spot and become the Red Sox' fifth starter. If the Red Sox didn't have the best rotation in major league baseball before this, its a no-doubter now. Coupled with Josh Beckett, Daisuke Matsuzaka, Curt Shilling, and feel good story Jon Lester, the Red Sox rotation now sports the fire power to win in October. Nomah Yastrzemski, a Red Sox fan since birth, had this to say after word of the news had spread, "Ya kno, now with the Gaarnett in the rotation, I don't think the Sox will give up another run all yeeh, not even to Steinbrennah and the damn Evil Empirah." While Garnett has never actually pitched before, he has watched many games on TV and a recent radar gun clocked him at 96. He hopes to get one minor league start at Pawtucket before joining the parent club for next week's series. He got his official welcoming at last night's game versus the Baltimore Orioles. Kevin threw out the first pitch in front of the sellout crowd. With the whole crowd waiting with baited breath, wondering if everything they have heard will be true, Kevin stepped up and threw the much-ballyhooed GyroBall for a resounding strike. Boston fans responded like they had seen the second coming of Christ walk through the turnstiles at Fenway Park.

Maybe if those in the Twins organization had reached out to Kevin the way the Red Sox have already done, he might have been "cool" staying here for some more rebuilding. We could have effectively killed two birds with one stone. We could have improved a very mediocre Twins rotation as well as giving Timberwolves' fans a reason to keep coming to Target Center. It also would have kept Johan Santana happy because apparently he's not down with rebuilding either. But alas, they couldn't see the talent that was right in front of their eyes.

Now, Kevin will have the opportunity to lead his two teams to the pinnacle of their respective sports, and I would obviously have to check with Tim Kurkjian, but I think it would be the first time that anyone has pitched in game 7 of the World Series and hoisted the Larry O'Brien Trophy on a Sunday in a non leap year with the Summer Olympics a year away. For the Red Sox, the Rich get richer. Getting Eric Gagne and KG in the same two day span, has to be a boon for Red Sox nation. For the Twins, its another missed opportunity to add to many others. I guess it's wait till next year after all. Thanks Terry. You're killing me smalls.

Fearless Fantasy Forecast: 7 Wins, 100 strikeouts, 15 walks, 2.64 ERA, 0.89 Whip

I Want 10 Million to Not Play Basketball

Obviously T-Hud took my advice and accepted the buyout from the Timberwolves. He'll probably end up as a Celtic since they'll be needing a backup point guard and he a Garnett are good friends. I bet Danny Ainge won't offer Hudson 30 million dollars. I bet the Celtics get him for 1-2 million per season and I'm sure that will be fine considering he already has about 10 million bones in his back pocket and will be joining a newly made elite eastern division team.

He should not, however, take the second part of my advice. It seems that hip hop aficionados are not exactly feeling Undrafted. Even if Hudson can make a dollar off of each CD sold, which would be a deal only the Kevin McHale of the recording industry would make, he would still only pull in about 78 bucks a week. I guess that Carbondale won't become the new rap capitol of the world anytime soon. Below is an Excerpt from his Myspace page-

An avid music writer, Troy also has written over two thousand original songs in his music career. In 2004, Troy formed NuttyBoyz Entertainment Group, which has evolved into Troy E. Hudson Enterprises, with Troy at the helm as Chief Executive Officer. Featuring a full range of music labels and production capabilities, Hudson Records and NuttyBoyz Records began actively recording and publishing music in 2005 at his newly built Hudson Studios, a private set of state-of-the-art music studios located in North Minneapolis.

It also says that he is "an outstanding guard known for his quickness, Solid defense and accurate shooting" - that is not the back-up's back-up that I know. On the plus side you could win a $50,000 chain through the myspace page. Seeing as the album was suck a big seller in its first week I'm guessing you odds are way better trying to win the chain than they are with a scratch off worth the same.

Man is he lucky that he got this whole not playing basketball career to fall back on.

Done Deal

Although when it first went up Gerald Green wasn't on the list, the deal is done and just how it was talked about yesterday afternoon. Have fun KG, we're going to miss you. I'm going to go get in line for tickets to the Wolves/Celtics game this season, see ya there.

A league source just confirmed that the Celtics and Timberwolves have finalized a deal that will bring Kevin Garnett to Boston in exchange for Al Jefferson, Ryan Gomes, Gerald Green, Sebastian Telfair, Theo Ratliff and two first round draft picks.

Garnett is expected to arrive in Boston this afternoon for a physical.
Garnett has agreed to a three-year extension with the Celtics beyond the two remaining on his contract, guaranteeing that he will be a Celtic for the next five years.

One reason for prolonged negotiations was the Celtics’ attempt to lessen the luxury tax hit this team will take next year, with Garnett, Paul Pierce and Ray Allen scheduled to earn a combined $54.4 million - the highest of any three-player combo in the NBA.

This will involve finding a way to lessen the impact of a 15 percent trade kicker in Garnett’s contract.

Link

The Love We Lost.....

Well, I hope you all appreciated it while it lasted. The only true face of the Minnesota Timberwolves since their inception in 1989 is probably busy packing his bags and saying his good-byes. It appears what ADAMBEZ and many others reported earlier today has come true, as Kevin Garnett is apparently heading east to the Boston Celtics. The deal isn't official but I'm going out on a limb and saying its done. The Timberwolves would receive Al Jefferson, Sebastion Telfair, Ryan Gomes, Gerald Green, Theo Ratliff, and two first round picks in return. Go figure it would be with the only team that McDouschbag seems to trade with, mainly because himself and Celtics GM Danny Ainge are buddies. As a Timberwolves die hard for many a year, I can't help but shed a tear at this news. Kevin Garnett is the reason the Wolves have any fans left, and with the exception of one year, the only reason fans came out to games on a frequent basis. Before I break down how great of a trade this is for us, I have no choice but to reflect on everything that Kevin Garnett is. I think he deserves that much.

Drafted in 1995 straight out of Farragut Academy in Chicago, Garnett came into the NBA as the first High Schooler since Moses Malone to be drafted. The decision was not a popular one with many people. Too young, too skinny, too raw. Whether he used that for motivation was not clear, but ever since then he has been everything that Wolves fans had hoped for and more. For 12 wonderful years, Minnesota got to experience not only one of the best players in the NBA but also one of its hardest working as well. It was a joy to watch this lanky 6'11" man exude such raw joy playing the game of basketball. Some people who play the game treat it more like a job than anything else. Kevin treated it like it was the game he grew up loving, and acted like he was truly happy to be getting paid to play. Now, some people might say that he was vastly overpaid, but if you stepped back and thought about what Kevin brought to the table, that point loses a lot of its luster. Not only was good for 22 and 12 almost every game of his career, but he also averaged around 5 assists for most of it as well. He may have not hit as many big shots as everyone would have liked, but he made his teammates better in every way. He never got himself in any trouble and treated the people of Minnesota with respect, always saying that he loved to play here. To me, he was worth every penny of the 20+ million a year he got from the club.


Sadly though, that 20+ million dollar salary, coupled with many horrendous other contracts, completely handicapped the team into mediocrity. Even though many of us did not want to see it end this way, something had to be done. The team had to part ways and start this Biotch over. It appears they have done so.

They couldn't have asked for much more. If all is true and they receive who they are said to be receiving, the trade is the first one in a long time that you can say that we actually came out on top. Sure we give up Garnett, but we get a budding "star" in Al Jefferson and lots of yummy cap room. The other actual players aren't that great, with the exception of Gerald Green, who could bring some excitement to the Target Center. I'm not sure that Sebastion Telfair will be with us, or anyone else, for very much longer. The part of this deal that makes it so appealing is those two first round picks that we acquire. Sure, one of them would be our pick that we owe the Celtics already, but it helps undue some of the mess McHorrible GM made down his leg a couple years ago.





If, for some reason, you happen to be optimistic for this upcoming year, let me be the first one to burst your bubble. This team will be very, very bad next year. And by bad, I'm talking 20-25 wins at most. I'm hoping for 15-18 actually, which would probably guarantee ourselves a top 3 pick, if not (GASP!) the first overall pick. This might be the only way we get to keep our pick that belongs to the Clippers. If you couple that fact with all the yummy cap room I mentioned earlier, this could be a shorter rebuilding process then usually is the case. Taking a quick look at the notable free agents for next years class, names like Elton Brand, Dwight Howard, Ben Gordon, Shawn Marion, and Agent Zero quickly jump off the page. Those are some of the names that could make this pill a lot easier to swallow.

As the Kevin Garnett era nears its end, I want to be one of hopefully many to look back at his time here, not with disdain, but with fondness. I know that we didn't get to where most fans wanted to get, but we truly saw one of the good ones play for 12 years. He did his best to take Wolves fans to the promised land. It wasn't his fault that a couple idiots were driving the bus. I'm gonna keep cheering for Kevin in Bean Town, and I hope that he can finally find his way to more success. He deserves it as much as any player in the NBA. Maybe the people in Boston will embrace him the way Wolves fans have.



Good Luck, Ticket.





On a lighter note, I am currently watching the Twins-Royals game,(and no, I don't know why) and Dick Bremer just uttered the words "Lew Ford absolutely owns Jimmy Gobble."(Royals relief pitcher) Man, has it really gotten this bad?? If they are clinging to statements that absurd, then the answer just may be yes.

Adrian Peterson Has More Money Than Me

The former Sooner running back and the Minnesota Vikings have agreed to terms on 6 year contract that could pay up to 40 million and guarantees 17 million. He managed to miss five practices in three days, but seeing as the Vikings have one of the more grueling camps and there are still a few concerns about Peterson’s collarbone I think everything will be just fine. Plus the world already knows that the purple people eaters won’t have a playoff bound team anyway.

The rookie running back and Chester Taylor should alleviate some pressure from Tarvaris Jackson’s first full year as our quarterback. I’d like to think of this upcoming season as one year-long lesson for Jackson, Peterson, Chad Greenway (who never played a regular season game) and the talk of training camp, Marcus McCauley. Hopefully they acquaint themselves with the league, make their mistakes, make their mark and come back the following year with a fire and couple nice additions from next year’s draft. All I can hope for is a glimpse of what the future might hold. I feel like I’ve needed to say that with all of the Minnesota teams since I was about, oh… 8. I’m getting sick of this, but Peterson feels like his name could be up there with Barry Sanders, Walter Peyton, Jim Brown and Ladanian Tomlinson by the time his career is over.

Hopefully the Vikings will be able to build a team around this young core of players, especially Peterson, and not waste talent. Will the Vikings front office have the foresight to build their team through the draft and only sign quality veterans to contracts that they actually deserve? Lord knows Kevin McHale didn’t do that for the Timber wolves and KG. I find it interesting that on the day that one sports star arrives to begin his career in Minnesota another has most likely seen his last day playing for his team.

Congratulations on your new contract Adrian. Now go earn it.

KG to the Celtics?????

Draftexpress is reporting it's almost a done deal.

Multiple sources close to the situation told DraftExpress Sunday that the Boston Celtics and Minnesota Timberwolves have come to terms on a trade exchanging Kevin Garnett for a package including Al Jefferson, Gerald Green, Sebastian Telfair, and Theo Ratliff. The exact details of the trade aren’t known at this point, but it is believed that the deal will be completed shortly with similar parameters.

Stay tuned for developments...

LUNCH BREAK: A Phenom's First Start

In an attempt to woo all five of you who read this thing back after a week off we've done much Sherlock Holmsery in order to give the the best stuff that the internets has to offer. Most of it is baseball related, but Labron and a few other subjects could not be denied their rightful place in our laziest of tags. P.S. Stop making fun of my photoshop asshole.

Kevin Slowey makes his debut tonight. If you’ve been hiding under a rock La Velle E. Neil III can bring you up to speed on the phenomenal rookie.

Were super late on this one, but farewell Batgirl… We’ll see you when the kid is older.

Yesterday I wrote about the new Judd Apatow film KNOCKED UP and I stated in the past that I thought “Arrested Development” was pure genius. Today KSK showed me that the two worlds collided for one brief and beautiful moment.

Hey Kevin, can I borrow 5 dollars?

Losers, Geeks, Dorks and Freaks unite!

The Twins Junkie (and Patrick Reusse) praise Terry Ryan for opting to keep Matt Guerrier instead of “The Real Deal” J.D. Durbin.

MN Game Day has a solution for the third base problem.

Jeff Grayson has a point and I tried to argue the same thing with a friend last week to no avail… I’m gonna call that bastard up and ask him what he thought of Labron’s performance last night. Even people from Detroit acknowledged his greatness.

Brewers fans have funny way of celebrating a winning team.

The taxpayers pick up the tab for the stadium so Pohlad can use his money on a building across the street… so we can give him more money. I have a feeling that 2.8 billion dollars could easily buy us an MVP, an all-star closer, a 2 time Cy Young winner, and the best centerfielder since Kirby Puckett and Cuddy, the most under appreciated outfielder outside of Minnesota.

Read this before you go to the casino tonight.