Sunday, April 27, 2008
Say Hello to Your New Vikings

On the surface this years draft does not look that exciting with only one pick on the first day and 4 the second none before the 5th round. Keep in mind that our first round pick was a 26 year old all-pro DE who racked up 15.5 sacks on a D-line that was no where near as dominant as the purple. History says Sack leaders numbers go down the year after leading the league but logic says that its impossible to double team everybody on the line. If any of you are worried about giving all of that money to a man who could face a big suspension and even possible jail time with one more DUI fear not, I've found a post on Pro Football Talk outlining how the Vikes have protected themselves against this sort of thing. If you thought we gave up too much for Allen you're pretty crazy considering the Jaguars gave up their 1st, two 3rds AND a 4th rounder for Derrick Harvey at the 8 spot. Thats a 4th rounder more than we gave up for a proven commodity.
In the second round yesterday we moved up a few spots to select Tyrell Johnson, a safety from Arkansas State. He was the Sunbelt defensive player of the year and had 6 interceptions in his senior year. He made 363 tackles and had 13 interceptions during his time at Arkansas State and was impressive during his school's pro day benching 225lbs 27 times (more than anybody else) running a 4.41 40 and showcasing his 39 inch vertical. Many people were confused by this pick but I like it. Sharper is getting older and though his play doesn't show it yet its only a matter of time before we'll need Johnson to step in.
In the 5th round we moved up to select John David Booty of USC. I never thought I'd say it but thank you Green Bay... we swapped 5th rounders and threw in our 7th round pick. Booty means we'll be able to release Bollinger and upgraded both of our back-up QBs from last year. He's also a good option to have if the T-Jack experiment goes bad. I'll post a video of him in action soon.
Our next selection in the 5th puzzled me a bit. We picked up Letroy Guion, a defensive tackle from Florida State University. I know that Pat Williams is getting a little older, but we signed Fred Evans last offseason. I was thinking the team would go after an OT, but Spielman has a very complex draft board and he was rated 8th overall at his position by scout.com.
With our First pick in the 6th round we selected John Sullivan, a center out of Notre Dame. He will most likely become the center of the future should Matt Birk decide to leave after this season. He's 6-4 and 303 lbs and is extremely reminiscent of Birk.
Our final selection was Jaymar Johnson, a WR out of Jackson State. At 6-1 180 he'll need to bulk up a bit but he'll be used mostly as a kick returner if he makes the team. I was hoping we'd use this pick on OT Brandon Kieth out of Northern Iowa University, but we let him go and Arizona picked him up in the 7th round.
In related new Dominique Barber was drafted by the Houston Texans in the 6th round. He was the only Gopher drafted. As for Hawkeyes Charles Godfrey was picked up in the 3rd round by Carolina, Kenny Iwebema was picked up in the 4th round by Arizona and Mike Humpal was picked up by the Steelers in the 6th.
UPDATE: The Daily Norseman has a list of the 16 undrafted free agents signed by the purple today.
Shouted at the top of his lungs by The Inevitable Muck-up at 6:00 PM
Labels: Booty Booty Booty Booty rockin' everywhere, College Football, Draft, Gophers, Great Jobs, Iowa Hawkeyes, Tarvaris Jackson, Trade Talk, Vikings
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
Frerotte is Frereally a Viking

Everybody knew that Gus Frerotte was going to become the Vikings' back-up quarterback, it was just a matter of finalizing the contract and choosing a number. Gus is an upgrade, but not by much. Kelly Holcomb and Brooks Bollinger had a combined sixty games played in the NFL while Frerotte has started in 82 games. He's also 36 which leads me to believe that he might have two seasons of game management and spot starting left in him.
The Vikings had better use one of their two 2nd round picks on a QB in case the Tarvaris Jackson experiment doesn't work out. Don't get me wrong - I no longer have a problem with him at QB considering he had almost no help in the receiving corps, but he still kind of reminds me of peanut brittle. I hear good things about Joe Flacco and it looks like Brian Brohm's and Chad Henne's draft stock is slipping enough for the Vikings to scoop them up some time in the second or (stretch) third round. All I know is that Bollinger need to be off my team by September. He should go become an assistant coach for his father.
As long as I'm talking about the upcoming draft I might as well say that I'm a little worried that the Vikings won't get a DE deserving of the 17th pick and I'm afraid that they might reach instead of take the 17th best player available. I know this is a different front office and they took Adrian Peterson when they already had Chester Taylor last year, but taking the violet messiah when he falls to 7 is much easier than taking Mike Jenkins or and O-lineman to replace Ryan Cook for when he replaces Matt Birk instead of reaching for Phillip Merling. All I know is the last time we reached for a player he ended up having rocks for hands and was only worth a 6th round pick from the jags.
It doesn't really matter anyway. The Wilfs will probably end up moving the team to L.A. considering the state legislature refuses to allow the metropolitan sports facilities commission to look for other possibilities for a new Vikings stadium... money that would have been spent by the owners and not by our taxes.
Shouted at the top of his lungs by The Inevitable Muck-up at 9:45 PM
Labels: Adrian Peterson, Draft, Free Agency, great players deserve better nicknames than "all day", NFL, Purple Jesus, Rocks, Tarvaris Jackson
Sunday, March 2, 2008
Da Bears Are Bery, Bery Angry at Berrian

I know I'm late on this one, but Bernard Berrian is now a member of the Vikings. It feels so good to steal one of the better members of a divisional foe's squad. Berrian is a speedster who can stretch the field while actually catching the ball. He'll be able to take the pressure off of the run game, and if all goes as I have it planned in my head he could be a big help in the development of Tarvaris Jackson as a QB and of Sidney Rice as a receiver. Jackson has never had a go to guy, Rice will benefit from extra coverage being thrown Berrian's way, and Purple Jesus will not see 9 men in the box every time he enters the game.
He's no Chris Carter or Randy Moss, but he's also not Troy Williamson. This team has a great defense that is aging, and if we want to take advantage of that defense we needed to pick up a quality veteran wide out. Berrian was 50 yards from a 1,000 yard season and hauled in 5 touchdowns. That's two more touchdowns than Williamson has in his 3 year career. I don't think well have a kick ass offense next year, but we might have a kick butt offense now that the passing game has a life.
On top of all of this we effectively squashed every ounce of offense out of the Bears. Who is their best receiver now? Devin Hester? Good luck, Rex. Maybe you should hand the ball off to... no, that didn't work last year. Maybe you should practice getting sacked and throwing the ball out of bounds.
Shouted at the top of his lungs by The Inevitable Muck-up at 3:33 PM
Labels: Adrian Peterson, Berrian is berry good, Brad Childress, Chicago sucks, Free Agency, Kick ass offense, NFL, Tarvaris Jackson, Throw the damn ball to Sidney Rice, Troy Williamson, Vikings
Friday, January 4, 2008
Get Off My Team

The season is over for the Minnesota Vikings and now its time for the coaching staff evaluate each of the players and make some decisions about who should stay and who should go. As a professional know nothing I've decided to do my own evaluating. The Star Tribune has a list of all the Vikings free agents which could come in handy for those of you following along.
The first person I want off my team is TROY WILLIAMSON. I've seen blind guys with better hands than this waste of space... I'm so glad we traded the best wide receiver still playing for Williamson and Napoleon Harris cause that totally worked in our favor. Red McCombs is getting a shank in the side if I ever run into him. Robert Ferguson is a free agent and though I'm not a huge fan of Ferguson I'd rather resign him and drop Williamson and look for an actual number one receiver. Free agents to look into are Andre Davis, Bernard Berrian, that's about it since Patrick Crayton signed his contract.
Up next is Brooks Bollinger and Kelly Holcomb. I want them both gone, I want someone who can actually compete with Tarvaris Jackson for the number one spot (Quinn Gray? Cleo "Fucking" Lemon?) and I want to use a fourth - Sixth round pick on a QB. Lets draft our own Tom Brady or Tony Romo.
Dwight Smith must also leave. he can't tackle Clinton Portis, he can't keep his thing in his pants and he can't wait until the offseason to smoke copious amounts of ganja. Take note current Vikings players the off season and the comfort of your own home is the ideal place to get high. I don't care if it helps with pain, its against the law for some reason and we can't be busting players out of jail on Saturday nights so they can play the next morning. Re-sign Tank Williams and get another safety through the draft or try to pick up someone like Gibril Wilson
Ryan Cook. God Damn Retard.
Erasmus James. Play a game. 5 sacks and 30 tackles in 23 games is no good and he's played 8 games in the last two seasons. I hate the fact that Childress favors James above Ray Edwards and Brian Robinson.
Meweldi Moore is almost certainly gone, but I think hes one hell of a football player who found himself in an unfavorable position.
Spencer Johnson will most likely find a new home this off season but he is the man that gives the Willaims boys breaks without anybody noticing it.
Shouted at the top of his lungs by The Inevitable Muck-up at 7:05 PM
Labels: ahhhhhhh, Brad Childress, F U, NFL, Ray Edwards will stomp your brains in, Tarvaris Jackson, Troy Williamson, Vikings
Monday, November 12, 2007
This Right Here is Where The Season Broke Down...

...tore if you will. I keep on hearing that this isn't a bad ligament tear, but anytime I think about a running back's knee and the flexible fibrous tissue that holds it together not being 100% I can't help but think of the pain I've gotten from accidentally snapping a rubber band and imagined what it felt like for the band. What in the hell am supposed to watch with Purple Jesus sidelined? I'll give Chester one game to impress me and I swear to god if the start Purple Judas at Quarterback I'm turning it to "Meet the Press" and lord knows I want no part of that.
Oh Well, at least we didn't get shut out by the Packers for the first time in series history.
Shouted at the top of his lungs by The Inevitable Muck-up at 7:21 PM
Labels: Adrian Peterson, great players deserve better nicknames than "all day", Kick ass offense, NFL, Tarvaris Jackson, Vikings
Monday, October 1, 2007
We’ve been duped… Bamboozled!
We’ve been sold expensive diet water. Brad Childress came to Minnesota under the guise of an offensive guru. I’ve watched 20 games led by the ‘stache and I can’t think of a single offensive outburst. How many times in the last 20 games do you think we’ve scored 24 points or more? 5… Brad Childress’ “Kick-Ass Offence” scores 24 or more points 25 percent of the time. We’re 5 for 5 in those games but first we have to get to 24. That’s 3 TDs and a field goal… not too much to ask considering the defense provides one of those touchdowns on a regular basis and tends to put the offense in good position to score most of the time.
Did you know that Visanthe Shaincoe was the leading receiver versus the Chiefs? When the tight end leads all receivers that is a bad sign. That is a combination of checkdowns and a leader who refuses to take chances. Childress’ offense is horrible, no matter what quarterback he puts out there they end up looking like Linus from peanuts sucking their thumb and grasping onto their blanket for dear life. That card he holds over his face during a game is actually only empty tick-tack-toe boards which he and Darrell Bevell fill out during the game
The team seems afraid to commit to Tarvaris Jackson and I wonder how bad his injury really is. Jackson and those receivers had better lock themselves away in the confines of Winter park and develop some sort of rapport. My suggestion is that Jackson focus on Bobby Wade and Sidney Rice. If Jackson and those receivers run routes until they’ve burned a path in the turf (ala Peyton and his guys) they might be able to find each other on game day. I don’t want to see Kelly Holcolm any more this year barring an injury… let Jackson throw his interceptions, take his hits and lose some games because he will be better for it.
I faintly remember a Vikings team that stretched the field a few years back. I know that team had Randy Moss and Daunte Culpepper, but you don’t need players of that caliber in order to stretch the field. I saw Dwayne Bowe and Damon Huard do it just the other week. I doesn’t take pro-bowl players, it takes a game plan and, maybe even more important, a willingness to deviate from the game plan when it falls apart. Look, I’m not being a delusional Homer here, I know that my team is bad but these last three losses don’t feel like they were inevitable. In each one you can point to one or two things that could have led to a win had they gone differently.
If the run game works why doesn’t the play action? If Adrian Peterson AKA Purple Jesus goes off for 100 yards in the first half why give him two carries in the second… and if you think he’s fragile because of the collarbone then why in the hell is he returning kicks? Are you going to throw to a gamecock? Why not Sidney Rice? He seems pretty good at an endzone jump ball and if I remember correctly that was his bread and butter in South Carolina.
I’ve got a great idea for you- lets put Troy Williamson at Cornerback… that way we won’t get burned by whoever Cedric Griffin is covering and it a plus when Williamson catches the ball instead of a prayer answered. Any one of these suggestions would be helpful if it were not for Childress. Childress is Mchale’s love of Boston and inking big deals for mediocre players. Childress is Carl Pohlad’s billions of dollars never to be spent on the Twins. In a nutshell Childress is Minnesota sports. Expect him to be around for far too long.
Shouted at the top of his lungs by The Inevitable Muck-up at 12:16 PM
Labels: Adrian Peterson, ahhhhhhh, Brad Childress, great players deserve better nicknames than "all day", Kick ass offense, Tarvaris Jackson, Troy Williamson, Vikings
Monday, July 30, 2007
Adrian Peterson Has More Money Than Me
The former Sooner running back and the Minnesota Vikings have agreed to terms on 6 year contract that could pay up to 40 million and guarantees 17 million. He managed to miss five practices in three days, but seeing as the Vikings have one of the more grueling camps and there are still a few concerns about Peterson’s collarbone I think everything will be just fine. Plus the world already knows that the purple people eaters won’t have a playoff bound team anyway.
The rookie running back and Chester Taylor should alleviate some pressure from Tarvaris Jackson’s first full year as our quarterback. I’d like to think of this upcoming season as one year-long lesson for Jackson, Peterson, Chad Greenway (who never played a regular season game) and the talk of training camp, Marcus McCauley. Hopefully they acquaint themselves with the league, make their mistakes, make their mark and come back the following year with a fire and couple nice additions from next year’s draft. All I can hope for is a glimpse of what the future might hold. I feel like I’ve needed to say that with all of the Minnesota teams since I was about, oh… 8. I’m getting sick of this, but Peterson feels like his name could be up there with Barry Sanders, Walter Peyton, Jim Brown and Ladanian Tomlinson by the time his career is over.
Hopefully the Vikings will be able to build a team around this young core of players, especially Peterson, and not waste talent. Will the Vikings front office have the foresight to build their team through the draft and only sign quality veterans to contracts that they actually deserve? Lord knows Kevin McHale didn’t do that for the Timber wolves and KG. I find it interesting that on the day that one sports star arrives to begin his career in Minnesota another has most likely seen his last day playing for his team.
Congratulations on your new contract Adrian. Now go earn it.
Shouted at the top of his lungs by The Inevitable Muck-up at 5:26 PM
Labels: Adrian Peterson, Kevin McHale makes my head hurt, KG, Kick ass offense, NBA, NFL, people with money, Sad Photoshop attempts, Tarvaris Jackson, Timberwolves, Vikings
Thursday, July 26, 2007
Brad Childress says we'll get to see this guy starting tomorrow.
These are highlights from Troy Williamson's time at South Carolina. As you all know Vikings training camp starts tomorrow and somehow Williamson has become the veteran receiver with all of the experience. Nike claims to have fixed old Stonehand's eyes (They make shoes for that?) This is yet to be determined. Also yet to be determined are the contracts of fellow Gamecock and receiver Sidney Rice and most importantly Oklahoma running back Adrian Peterson.
The Pessimist in me says that a young and unproven receiving core and quarterback position can only bring us 4 wins. The optimist says that the tandem of Peterson and Chester Taylor will destroy D-lines and the defense will be just as good if not better to get us to .500. Hopefully Cedric Griffin can keep his pants on and build upon a very solid rookie year and Marcus McCauley (who just signed his contract) can some how magically defend the pass with some help From Erasmus James and Kenechi Udezi (for God's sakes).
This team won't win the division and a wild card berth is almost as laughable. We're going to win 6 games on the strength of our run stopping and ground game and maybe we'll see a few bright spots. I'm just hoping that this new version of the Kick-ass offense can get a couple of touchdowns through the air and let me watch my team into the 4th quarter.
Shouted at the top of his lungs by The Inevitable Muck-up at 5:45 PM
Labels: Adrian Peterson, Brad Childress, Kick ass offense, NFL, Rocks, Tarvaris Jackson, Troy Williamson, Vikings

