Livan Hernandez is a Twin

The Twins added some experience to their starting rotation today when Livan Hernandez signed a one-year deal worth about 5 million dollars. Whether or not this turns out to be another waste of money like Ramon Ortiz and Sidney Ponson is yet to be determined. Hernandez went 11-11 with a 4.93 ERA with Arizona last year which is already a slight step up from Ortiz' 11-16 with a 5.57 ERA with Washington the year before signing with the Twins.

The opening day starter is still unclear, but if I had to guess I'd say that Hernandez would be given the job because of his veteran status. He's definitely not Santana and may only be on par with Carlos Silva, but the one thing he does that this team desperately needs is eat up innings. He has thrown at least 199 innings since 1998, hopefully that trend will continue and the bullpen will know that at the very least they'll have one day to rest during the rotation.

The pitchers set to start the year off looks to be Hernandez, Scott Baker, Boof Bonser, Kevin Slowey and a fight between a healing Fransisco Liriano, Nick Blackburn and the newly acquired Phil Humber. If this team has any hope of staying in the race for the central pennant we’re going to need Liriano to show up like he did in his rookie season, Hernandez to pitch more like he did in 2000 or 2003 and Delmon Young to do his best Frank Robinson impression.

God, I hope this pans out.

LUNCH BREAK: A Phenom's First Start

In an attempt to woo all five of you who read this thing back after a week off we've done much Sherlock Holmsery in order to give the the best stuff that the internets has to offer. Most of it is baseball related, but Labron and a few other subjects could not be denied their rightful place in our laziest of tags. P.S. Stop making fun of my photoshop asshole.

Kevin Slowey makes his debut tonight. If you’ve been hiding under a rock La Velle E. Neil III can bring you up to speed on the phenomenal rookie.

Were super late on this one, but farewell Batgirl… We’ll see you when the kid is older.

Yesterday I wrote about the new Judd Apatow film KNOCKED UP and I stated in the past that I thought “Arrested Development” was pure genius. Today KSK showed me that the two worlds collided for one brief and beautiful moment.

Hey Kevin, can I borrow 5 dollars?

Losers, Geeks, Dorks and Freaks unite!

The Twins Junkie (and Patrick Reusse) praise Terry Ryan for opting to keep Matt Guerrier instead of “The Real Deal” J.D. Durbin.

MN Game Day has a solution for the third base problem.

Jeff Grayson has a point and I tried to argue the same thing with a friend last week to no avail… I’m gonna call that bastard up and ask him what he thought of Labron’s performance last night. Even people from Detroit acknowledged his greatness.

Brewers fans have funny way of celebrating a winning team.

The taxpayers pick up the tab for the stadium so Pohlad can use his money on a building across the street… so we can give him more money. I have a feeling that 2.8 billion dollars could easily buy us an MVP, an all-star closer, a 2 time Cy Young winner, and the best centerfielder since Kirby Puckett and Cuddy, the most under appreciated outfielder outside of Minnesota.

Read this before you go to the casino tonight.

"Sir Sid Still Sucks" - So Says Ryan

Senor Ponson Dice, "Adios, Minnesota". Beware Aruban Judges The Twins have let loose a 250+ pound man with a new found reason to drink. He will likely attempt to take his 6.93 ERA elsewhere, but if Rick Anderson can't fix it nobody can. At least we didn't have to wait until June like we did with Batista and Juan Castro.

For the moment the fat man will be replaced by first baseman/ outfielder Garrett Jones. So Far this year Jones has posted a .305 batting average with 5 home runs and 25 strike outs. The Twins claim he has a big bat and we could use one of those right now with Mauer out of the line-up and a lack of production. The offense was in fine working order yesterday when the Twinkies scored 16 runs against the central leading Tigers. Torii Hunter had two home runs and drove in 7. Cuddy and Redmond each had a home run in the game to help Boof Ball win his first game. All 11 batters to enter the game had a hit.

I bet Ponson wished that he had been given a game or two like that to keep him around a little longer. There is no telling how long Garrett will be up in the bigs. Gardenhire had been saying that he wanted to have an extra hitter for the up-coming inter-league play, and also said that he wanted to keep Glenn Perkins in the long relief role. When the time comes Rochester is full of prospects waiting for their chance.

Scott Baker seems to be the best choice considering his time in the majors and an ERA of 3.16. Kevin Slowey has the the bast ERA in Rochester at 1.51, but he has no big league experience. The younger and taller version of Brad Radke seems destined to stay put until a run of injuries or a September call-up. Matt Garza has a respectable 3.75 ERA and has some (painful) big league experience... he is the reason that the Twins most likely won't call up Slowey. If Gardy has been lying and they do opt to pencil Perkins in as a starter his 3.26 ERA will make a world of difference against the opposition.

Now we must wonder if Boof Ball can take yesterday's big win and turn his game around or if he'll need to visit Rochester in the not too distant future.

LUNCH BREAK: Eat Fresh! Edition

Brady Quinn likes his Subway, and Trent Green may be the key to the Vikings drafting him (though I don't think we should)

New and ingenious ways to run marathons.

The New York Times breaks down the statistical difference between the A.L. and the N.L.

The MLB says Torii is in trouble for sending Dom. I say bullshit, leave the man alone.

Randball has a mustache fetish, and so do the Orioles.

Derok.net talks T-wolves and the Twilight of KG's productive years.

Carron Butler… Straw chewer extraordinaire. WTF?

Taking power from Mchale is a good thing, but giving more to Glen Taylor probably isn’t.

Kevin Slowey is making a run at Ponson’s spot in the rotation. No protest here, we enjoy sub 1.00
ERAs.

The Big Lead has figured out how to cure cancer, and all its gonna take is some lunch money.

Twins Pitching Odds

The Twins have a killer starting rotation… unfortunately most of those pitchers will start the season in the minors. The Pioneer Press in reporting today that the Twins starting rotation will look like we thought it would at the beginning of spring training. “El Presidente” Santana will be at the helm of this starting rotation followed by Ramon Ortiz (whom I am gaining faith in), Boof!, Carlos Silva and Sidney Ponson. The Twins sent down baseball’s version of Agent Zero, Kevin Slowey, on Sunday and Matt Garza and Glen Perkins are sure to follow soon.

I put complete trust in Rick Anderson’s ability to get the best out of his pitchers, but I think that Silva and Ponson just don’t have it anymore. Last year the Twins made a run (and captured) the division after dumping a few geezers off the side of the boat and infusing their infield with some youth. This year I see that happening to the starting rotation… its only a matter of time before something bad happens. At the moment I’m channeling the future in order to bring you the odds on what leads this pitching staff in a younger directions. Here it is from least likely to most likely… enjoy.

50:1 – No change is made to the starting rotation

25:1 – Silva hits someone in the head with his sinker ball (if it’s A-Rod, he may be promoted and given an award for shutting the guy up)

15:1- Ponson’s visa expires before the season ends

12:1- Ponson falls off the wagon and punches a cop while joyriding with Koren Robinson and Eddie “Hardwood” Griffin

10:1- Ortiz and Silva go 1-2 in home runs given up in the AL

5:1- Kevin Slowey has an ERA lower than 1.50 when he gets called up to the majors

3:1- Santana repeats as Cy young winner (its got to be a fluke if he loses)

2:1- Silva and Ortiz are gone by the ALL-STAR break (hello backup shortstop)

1:1- Bonser, Silva and Ponson get into an all out brawl over the last doughnut in the clubhouse (Dennys Reyes sits back chomping on said doughnut and laughing his ass of while Bonser puts the old guys in a double headlock)