This Kid Looks Hungry

Lets feed him. Seriously.

I was searching the internets today after work when I came across With Leather's power rankings (I just wanted to see a picture of Scarlett Johanson) when I found their link to Freerice.com. This is super cool... All you do is choose the best definition for the word and the UN (and the multinational corperations whose logos appear on the bottom of each screen) will donate 10 grains of rice towards world hunger. I got to vocab level 30 before I decided to share this with you and aside from the fact that the rice I won was probably big enough to give that little guy up there a malnourished baby sized portion of a meal some of the words started getting tough to define. Kids studying for the SATs, ACTs and maybe even the GRE could learn a thing or two while feeding the kids.

Since October 7th people playing the game have donated 589,305,670 grains of rice to those in need. Crazy. And its kind of fun.I need to start one of these where every time someone solves a math equation I get a penny. Maybe not math... people hate that shit.

In Theaters Tomorrow...

Update: I've noticed that Google sends people to last week's films so hit the tag at the bottom to get info on the most recent films to hit theaters. This was written on June 14th

Do you like bad movies starring hot chicks? Jessica Alba is back in the second FANTASTIC FOUR. Do you like Children’s literature with a female target audience? NANCY DREW comes out this week. Did you think that SHAUN OF THE DEAD lacked a Canadian accent, eh? FIDO offers you the chance to laugh while watching zombies bite people’s faces off. Do you think Jamie Pressly and Miho from SIN CITY should fight each other in bikinis with swords? DEAD OR ALIVE can do that and promise a 3 minute volleyball scene. Do you think the movies coming out this week are going to be pretty shitty? Me too.

I’m not gonna lie; I thought the first FANTASTIC FOUR was a piece of shit and a two hour long billboard. The new one, FANTASTIC FOUR: RISE OF THE SILVER SURFER, will suffer from similar product placement, super cheesy lines, an ending that won’t actually end and fanboys crying about how Galactus looks in the film. Silver Surfer origin story any body? I dug the Sliver surfer when I was a kid… he had a flying surf board, could travel into space and he was indifferent towards the plight of others, all of my favorites share that quality. My all-time comic book cartoons go 1.Spiderman 2. X-men 3. Batman 4. Silver Surfer. Oh yeah… Jessica Alba is a sexy, but terrible actress.

Nancy Drew comes to the big screen in a modernized version of her books this week and most of the critics I’ve read have panned it. The teenage sleuth and her father take a trip to Los Angeles where she attempts to unravel the murder mystery of a film star (check the glove compartment for a bag of coke Nancy) Allusions to CHINA TOWN, MULHOLLAND DRIVE and last years HOLLYWOODLAND as well as a cameo from Bruce Willis don’t seem to be able to save the film and only provide an instance of excitement for the parents forced to see the film.

Billy Connelly plays Fido in FIDO, the story of one boys attempt to keep his pet zombie around after he has accidentally eaten the neighbor. If you don’t know Connelly you’re just not thinking hard enough, he was the father in BOONDOCK SAINTS. Dylan Baker plays the head of the Robinson family and Carrie Ann Moss plays the mother. Moss is of course of THE MATRIX fame and Baker is an actor we’ve all seen before, but even if I list the films you’re going to need IMDB. This is essentially the story of a boy and his dog… if his dog were a 6-foot tall blood thirsty Zombie. I’m actually very interested in this film, but don’t think I’ll get a chance to see it in theaters.

DEAD OR ALIVE is the shittiest of shitty movies coming out this week. The film is based on a “popular” video game series that I am unaware of. Cory Yuen (THE TRANSPORTER) directs this film about 3 female fighters who enter a secret tournament on a secluded island… blah, blah, blah. You know the deal. Jamie Pressly probably should have stuck with “My Name Is Earl.” The other two leads are played by Devon Aoki (Miho) and Holly Valance, whom I had never had the pleasure of knowing. Somehow I stumbled upon this video from DOA of Ms. Valance putting on a bra in the coolest way possible.

Box Office should look like this #1. FANTASTIC FOUR #2. OCEANS #3. KNOCKED UP #4. PIRATES #5. SURFS UP -Wow thats a link heavy post.

LUNCH BREAK: Please Wait One Half Hour Before Entering the Pool

Above is a sneak peak at Amanda Beard’s Playboy cover. Mmmm… Swimmer’s body. Feel free to make your own breaststroke joke. Below is some wicked awesome links to get you through the rest of the day. The last three are not so much about sports, but highly interesting and hilarious.

All the Twins info you need for the day brought to you by the Twins Junkie.

The only reason to watch the Women’s Softball College World Series: Arizona.

The Juice is on a roll… Jason Giambi’s 1997 baseball card is a little more than interesting.

Sorry Mr. Sinker, I’d rather have a stand-up guy like Torii than a cheater (albeit a very good player) such as A-Rod.

Greg Oden has a blog, and if he is anything like me it will only take a month or so to separate his writing into paragraphs.

The Big lead says the Wolves will draft Yi Jianlian. I say they will draft a half eaten sandwich… or Joe Smith.

I wanna work here. If you only click on one link today make it this one.

Here is your random Pirate link for the day.

DonkeyBall? Where do I get tickets? (this may actually be better than the work link)

Free Bracey Wright!

San Antonio Will Win The Finals

Don’t worry Cavs fans, the only reason I said that was because I’ve noticed that any definitive statement I am forced to eat my words (here and here). The Cavs are the team I want to win, along with everyone not living in Texas, and I honestly think they have a good shot. The Cavs are absolutely nothing special without LeBron and people have been ragging on him since he entered the league about everything from free throw percentage to his ability to put up the last second shot.

That last second shot argument has always bothered me. People argue that he has been in the league for 4 years and still has troubles taking that shot. I say its because he dominated in high school and there was never any real need for that type of shot… the kid spent his high school years dominating everyone who attempted to play ball against him. When March madness rolls around who usually takes the last shot for a team? It’s the upperclassmen who have felt this pressure before. LaBron’s entry into the NBA was a baptism by fire, and he did way better than any high-schooled before him. KG may always pass up on the final shot but LeBron won’t have a problem after his best playoff performance yet.

It seems to me that LeBron figured out that he has to take control of the game and that he doesn’t have Scottie Pippen, B.J. Armstrong, Horace Grant, Kerr and Paxson. LeBron has the human equivalent of peanut brittle in Larry Hughes, a rookie who calls himself Boobie (come on ladies- lets make some interesting shirts) and Sideshow Bob Anderson Varejao. Lebron’s supporting cast is more like the supporting cast of a screwball comedy and I think he is beginning to realize this. This is why he knocked down the final two free throws in game 4 while laughing in the face of his critics. This is why he returned in game 5 with two dunks in the last 30 seconds to tie it up and followed those up with the rest of the team’s points in the two subsequent overtimes.

I truly believe that whatever sparked LeBron to a series win over Detroit saved the NBA finals. I know that I personally didn’t want to watch a Spurs/Pistons series. That sounds like the time I walked into the voting booth and got to choose between Bush and Kerry… both seemed like bad options. I only hope that LeBron can summon the force once more and defeat the darkside of the NBA. Look, I found some evidence… Its Pop and Palp.