Some People's Kids: Twins Pitching Odds

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Twins Pitching Odds

The Twins have a killer starting rotation… unfortunately most of those pitchers will start the season in the minors. The Pioneer Press in reporting today that the Twins starting rotation will look like we thought it would at the beginning of spring training. “El Presidente” Santana will be at the helm of this starting rotation followed by Ramon Ortiz (whom I am gaining faith in), Boof!, Carlos Silva and Sidney Ponson. The Twins sent down baseball’s version of Agent Zero, Kevin Slowey, on Sunday and Matt Garza and Glen Perkins are sure to follow soon.

I put complete trust in Rick Anderson’s ability to get the best out of his pitchers, but I think that Silva and Ponson just don’t have it anymore. Last year the Twins made a run (and captured) the division after dumping a few geezers off the side of the boat and infusing their infield with some youth. This year I see that happening to the starting rotation… its only a matter of time before something bad happens. At the moment I’m channeling the future in order to bring you the odds on what leads this pitching staff in a younger directions. Here it is from least likely to most likely… enjoy.

50:1 – No change is made to the starting rotation

25:1 – Silva hits someone in the head with his sinker ball (if it’s A-Rod, he may be promoted and given an award for shutting the guy up)

15:1- Ponson’s visa expires before the season ends

12:1- Ponson falls off the wagon and punches a cop while joyriding with Koren Robinson and Eddie “Hardwood” Griffin

10:1- Ortiz and Silva go 1-2 in home runs given up in the AL

5:1- Kevin Slowey has an ERA lower than 1.50 when he gets called up to the majors

3:1- Santana repeats as Cy young winner (its got to be a fluke if he loses)

2:1- Silva and Ortiz are gone by the ALL-STAR break (hello backup shortstop)

1:1- Bonser, Silva and Ponson get into an all out brawl over the last doughnut in the clubhouse (Dennys Reyes sits back chomping on said doughnut and laughing his ass of while Bonser puts the old guys in a double headlock)

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