THANK YOU CHICAGO

With my past experience with the White Sox, I don't think I could be as happy for another team as I am right now. If you haven't heard the White Sox just extended Ozzie Guillen through 2012. This means we can expect them to fall apart year after year, until at least 2013, which is wonderful. Even though the Twins are DONE this season, life as a Twins fan is good.

It's like Christmas morning

If you're not hyped up yet the following videos should help.









Enjoy. Go Hawks.

Some stuff hapened while I was gone

While I was gone a couple notable things happened regarding the sports teams in Minnesota That I thought were worth mentioning.

The AL All-star team was announced somewhere between Iowa and Wisconsin and I swear to god it took me 2 days to figure out which Twins made the team. The batting Champ was replaced by the MVP Torii got invited this year and Johan made it 3 in a row. Pat Neshek was included on the Internet vote for the final spot. Alas, the wacky, blogging reliever from Brooklyn Park was unable to overcome the terrible twosome that is the Red Sox nation and Japan. Hideki Okajima stole the final spot.

In other Twins news... Holy shit, they scored 32 against the White Suks today. Torii had one in each game, Dr. Morneau had 3 (in one game!), Gimpy Cirillo had one, Kubel displayed that power people keep on trying to tell me he has and Cuddy hit double digits in the HR catagory. In the second game of the double header Mike Redmond took a bat to the face invoking a strange rule that TNABACG explains. I'm calling it the Chris Hientz rule from now on

In Wolves news Kammron Taylor was added to the Summer league roster. I believe that this is a good pickup and though it will not fill the void left by Bracey, its a start. Stupid McHale.

The Wild signed Pierre Mark Bouchard Wes Walz to one-year deals and requested arbitration for Boogaard. They also Signed a dude on 'roids so that we have a chance of beating the Ducks. I will have my day, Earl.

The Vikings plan on raping you if you want to go to the Bears or Packers games. If you want tickets to those games you're gonna need to buy preseason games. Note to self- Hit up the August 10th or 30th preseason game to check out Adrian Peterson... people will be giving away tickets. Also, Kelly Holcomb would like to become the quarterback for the team, but Brad Childress still feels like the team isn't ready for quarterback at this point in time.

Mid-Year Resolutions

Ok, so I really don’t know for what reason I haven’t had anything to write about for the past few weeks. Maybe it’s a little but of all this nice weather, maybe it’s the fact that I’ve had a lot going on at work, probably has a lot to do with my infatuation with a certain discussion forum or something that I can’t really think of. I mean, shit, it takes me about 15 minutes to write a typical short post. I know you are amazed at the quality I can pump out in 15 minutes, I’m just that good.

I have never heard of people ever doing mid year resolutions, but since it is the 6^th month of the year June; I am going to start anew. I am going to try and post at least 3 times a week, that can’t take too much effort. As I say that I’m going to do this, I already know that it’s not going to happen this week due to a work trip to Vegas.

Here we go, this past month had giving us plenty to talk about, from this Allison Stokke character, with whom my friend below was a few weeks late on, to the Timberwolves draft lottery getting First seventh pick and we already know what’s going to happen with that (bad things, welcome to Minnesota Mr. Noah), the Twins starting their annual work to move back into contention in the AL Central, to Lebron James taking Cleveland, the NBA, Disney(espn/abc), Ohio and anyone else who wants to get on his back (like KG in this commercial) into the NBA finals.

Lebron is getting all the comparison now that at age 22 he has brought his team to the finals. I truly believe that he deserves said comparisons, even if he doesn’t win the Finals. The ratings for the finals will be significantly higher due to him; it is all about money anyways. I even had a conversation at work today with people who aren’t basketball fans about LBJ. His supporting cast is fairly week so it’s kind of a shame to see they don’t have a pick in the 1^st round this year (Phoenix owns theirs). With this draft supposedly so deep it would be interesting to see what they could do with another solid player.

This draft coming up is really intriguing and that’s a subject I plan on writing about more in the next 3 weeks until the draft. Today Mr. Abbott over at TrueHoop did a story on Greg Oden’s pre-draft athletic tests, and these results are remarkable. I have always thought the old man kid was good but after I read this story I’m kind of scared of him. Check this out:

Oden is faster than Durant in the 3/4-court sprint, quicker in the lane-agility drill, and has better numbers in the running and standing vertical leaps. And, Oden has a mind-boggling 7.8 body-fat percentage ... most big men are north of the 12 percent range. For instance, other top-rated big men such as Washington's Spencer Hawes (13.0), Duke's Josh McRoberts (13.7) and Pitt's Aaron Gray (10.8) don't compare.

His wingspan is 7 feet, 4.25 inches (fourth best in the draft). His standing reach is 9 feet, 4 inches (the highest of anyone in the draft). His standing vertical is 32 inches, his running vertical 34 inches.

If this kid isn’t good he will be one of the biggest wastes of pure ability to come into the draft in long time, maybe ever. His capability shoot opposite handed free-throws this year is so impressive for a big man, it’s almost like that ambidextrous pitcher from Creighton, and well I guess that comparison is a little crazy, but it’s still really extraordinary.

Well that is a very small tip (insert dick joke here) of what you and I have missed in my lame three week hiatus from this site. Just in writing this I have forced myself to hold back so I have other topics to discuss here, hopefully they will be enjoyable. Oh and by the way, the White Socks Suck.

Why no A.J.?

A.J. Pierzynski didn’t play in the final game of the Twins/ White Sox series today and we here at SPK decided some detective work was necessary. After a few calls and a bribery consisting solely of White Castle’s flavored chicken rings we were able to obtain a transcript of the conversation between Ozzie Guillen and A.J. prior to the game. Enjoy.

Ozzie: (yelling from his office) A.J., ged ing here! Joo god some ‘splaining to do.

A.J. : (enters the room with a wrestling belt around his shoulder) What’s up Oz?

Ozzie: I ayng Berry mad at joo A.J. Why joo godda spikey da NVP’s foot ayng make ada Twings bats work? No es bueno A.J.

A.J.: I don’t know what you’re talking about Oz. I’m a perfect angel and an all-star caliber catcher.

Ozzie: No, joo is mine least favoritest player ayng I hab hated hated joo frong day one.

A.J.: that kinda harsh Oz, I thought you said you liked me.

Ozzie: No, I tell dat (censored) Mariotti ang da media dat we hates joo less causen joos ong da team. Day god 40 hits ing two ganes, A.J. Joo pisses dem off ayng den joo calls a bad gane? Day gonna bean joo for chure if I puts joo out dare today.

A.J.: Come on Oz! I was thinking of sliding into Castillo to try and mess up his knees again today!

Ozzie: Das bad beisbol A.J. joo godda learn dat joo cang jus do dat.

A.J. What if I got Redmond to punch me in the face? Is that bad baseball?

Ozzie: I hate joo A.J.

A.J.: But he’s going to punch me.

Ozzie I’n gonna pun joo ing da face. I wich we coo ged songting in a trade for joo like da Twings. Joo godda sit today, I ayng playing Toby.

A.J.: that’s bullshit Oz, I’m gonna call up all the talk radio in Chicago.

Ozzie: goo, I’n don give a sheet, call de Springer too. Ged oudda her, I godda ting of a nicknangs for de new Twings pitchers.

The twins swept the Sucks today in fantastic fashion. I fell asleep when it was 4-6 and woke up when it was 7-6. A.J. wasn't on the field and the Twins didn't need Redmond's .320 Batting average or Castillo's .334 average. Thats 7/8 games, 47 hits in this last series and a good feeling about my favorite baseball team. When Mauer and Rondell White get back I have a feeling we'll bring it to the rest of the A.L. Central.

One reason I hate the White Sox

I don't know if this is really early but this kid is excited for this upcoming weekend. Myself and 5 friends are heading to Milwaukee for the Twins Brewers series, and I know the Twins aren't playing the best baseball as of late (except last Sunday, whatever that was), but any baseball road trip always brings about excitement. My goal is for this trip to go better then my last baseball road trip.

This story is not the sole reason for my hatred of the White Sox, but it has really brought the hatred to a new level. This story is going to be long, but it's worth it.

Last September 25-27th a friend and I decided to meet some friends in Chicago to check out the Twins/White Sox series. We took the Mega-Bus there (first sign this trip was going to be bad), which I will never do again, and I suggest no one ever do either. The bus was swerving all over the place and when we stopped half way some guy pointed out that our rear tires were pretty much completely balled. After a Quick stop we continued the trip, at about 6:30 am, we were approaching the suburbs of Chicago, when all of a sudden a big bang and we were swerving all over the road. Fortunately he gets us across three lanes of rush hour traffic to the shoulder. We sat road side for about an hour, we were supposed to arrive at the downtown bus station at about 7am, and we ended up being about 3 hours late.

Well we were alive and now we were in Chicago. We got on the train and headed out to my buddy's brother house on the north side of Chicago.

It was a beautiful day and after dropping our stuff off at his place is was almost lunch time so we met up with a friend in Wrigleyville, where we proceeded to drink some beers. The day was going fast and after lunch we messed around a bit in Wrigleyville, and then headed to this friends place to sit out the porch a bit before heading down to "the cell."

It was a great night for outdoor baseball even if U.S. Cellular isn't a great park. We got there early enough to watch the place fill up. Everything was going along well, besides the score, the twins were down 3 after 2 innings. In about the 4th inning my friend and I decided to go grab a beer and he was going to have smoke. We got out to the concourse and saw this girl smoking, who besides the smoking, and being a White Suks fan was pretty attractive, so since smoking tends to be a social activity we went over and joined her. After my friend took a few drags, a security guard came over and asked them to put them out, apparently there are designated smoking sections in the concourse, after being asked to stop my buddy took one more drag and put it out.

Next thing we knew, this power hungry security guard was all over my buddy. Acting like he was going to kick him out, so I thought that I would try and step in, not a good idea. Before I knew it I was thrown up against the wall then pulled to the ground, handcuffed and being drug down the concourse. While being drug down the hall the guard was yelling at me to stand up as he was wrenching on the hand cuffs he had on my wrists, which was making it virtually impossible to stand up.

I was taken into a holding room in the basement of the stadium and cuffed to a wall. I was there from about what I think was the 5th inning on, it's hard to say because I had no idea what was going on in the game. Finally I was taken out of the stadium and transferred to a nearby precinct for booking. I was charged with battery, or how they described it "illegal touching." We were there for about an hour, and when I left there to be taken down to the 9th precinct for the night I was leg shackled to a kid who was busted for selling crack to an undercover cop, seems like they really work hard to match up "criminals."

The cell I spent the night in was cold, which is to be expected, but I wasn't offered any food the whole night. To top it off the cell had feces on the wall. I spent about 8 hours in their. Everyone was release at about 9am; I didn't have a phone, because I had thrown it to my buddy so he could get a hold of my friends and family. So I borrowed a phone from a sox fan who had been arrested for getting into a fight and called my friends and the came down and got me.

What an ordeal. The twins did win though, torii hit a clutch homer and somehow punto hit one too.

I went back in October for my court date and everything was dropped before I walked into the court room. All I had to do was apologize to the guard, fuck him.

rant/
As we were walking out a women the guard was with says to me, "next time you're at Cellular behave yourself." This pissed me off more then any thing in this entire deal. You don't fucking know what happened, keep you damn mouth shut and get a real job. All you are is a security guard for the 2nd class baseball team in your city. U.S. Cellular sucks, the fans are terrible, the cops in Chicago are corrupt, security guards in general and especially at the cell are power mongers.

Fuck the White Sox!!!!!

/rant

Well, that’s my story; I hope it is nothing like the trip this upcoming weekend.

Morneau single-handedly proves that White Sox do indeed suck

After having to deal with Boof ball the Twins were able to pull out a victory in the opener of the Twins/ White Sox series in Minneapolis. After spending what feels like month without a homerun Dr. Morneau managed two. He started off the game with a solo shot, but the Sucks came back to take the lead. Somehow Boof managed to make it to the 7^th inning, which is great, but I wish I didn’t have to use the word somehow. His pitching wasn't even the problem, it was his errant throw to third that got him the ND.

A rally in the 8^th which started with a Bartlett double that brought Redmond home and ending with a Hunter single to bring the Bartman home. Hunter is having one hell of a season and is no doubt auditioning for a big payday from Boston or New York. The 10^th stared off with a double from the fastest man with a limp (Castillo) and the Sucks chose to walk Hunter. Justin Morneau came to the plate and smashed the hell out of the ball for an upper deck three run walk-off homerun.

Hopefully Ozzie and Co. have awakened the beast and sent him on his homerun tear/ .300 batting average. With Mauer on the DL we’ll need Hunter and Morneau to swing big sticks. Hopefully Cuddy’s back feels fine and he can begin crushing the ball. This is a nice start to 9 straight games against the upper echelon (AKA not the Royals) of the central division.

LUNCH BREAK: Turducken Edition

Bracey Wright had 15 minutes 1 Reb 1 Ast 1 TO and 5 Pts in what will most likely be his last as a Timberwolf. Godspeed, Bracey, Godspeed… and get the hell out McFail.

The batting helmet of Dr. Mourneau. Courtesy of Aaron Gleeman

Brian Urlacher owns the most expensive hat ever.

I take back that dick thing I said yesterday. If a Ducks fan can call out Brad May for a sucker punch I have nothing but respect .

TNABCG tells Scott Neidermeyer to watch his back.

Matt Millen has gotten himself into another predicament. Contemplates life, draft pick and secretary's naughty bits.

Even ESPN employees don’t like watching their shows.

"Who are these people and why are they shouting at me?"

This just in: Football players smoke weed.

Gophers say goodbye to Erik Johnson

Congratulations Mark Buehrle. Sox still suck

God the White Sox are @#$*!!!!

We here at Some-Peoples-Kids have an utter disdain for the Chicago White Sox after a certain incident at U.S Cellular last August landed AdamBez at the first precinct station and myself roaming the south side of Chicago in Twins apparel, trying to find a ride home. Our abhorrence has manifested itself for most of the off season and now will be let out in a torrid of blog entries whenever our Twins play the Sox.

Tonight starts the first series of the season between the Twins and Sox at U.S Cellular and we should see quit the pitchers duel between Javier Vazquez and Carlos Silva. The Twins will hopefully continue to get timely hitting and pray that Silva lasts more than three innings. As for the Sox, they have been on the receiving end of Cleavland's offensive punishment and only squeaked out their first win yesterday when Cleavland's bullpen collapsed in the ninth.

Before the game starts we'd like to thank A.J. Pierzynski for being ok enough to con the Giants out of two little known pitchers by the name of Joe "the savior" Nathan and Mr. Fransisco "El General" Lariano. Quite frankly A.J. is a bitch and a dirty player, but he's not our problem. Actually hes a a big reason this team looks the way it does. We'd also like to thank Contraras for being 1 million years old... If we're thanking the White Sox for being old we might as well thank all of their sluggers, too.

Those bitches on the southside can't even properly bean someone. They all follow A.J.'s dirty lead. One of the best parts of their game may be "small ball" this existed in their World Series run and was then totally forgotten outside of talking to the media. The only reason they'll get more write-ups at SPK is an inexplicable disdain for the Sox, and everything either White or Sockey. Frankly we're more worried about the Indians and Detroit.

Any team that gives its best asian player a nickname that sounds like a woman's "southside" does not deserve the respect of a fine blog like ours. In fact the only person that doesn't get completely ripped apart during a Sox-Twins conversation is Ozzie. The man has said many things that he probably shouldn't have; but he speaks his mind, has a funny accent, swears like a sailor in television interviews, respects the Twins and always-always ends up chewing his team out by the third game of our season.