Yeah! Wait... What? No!

As you all know by now there is both good and bad news in the land of snow and mediocre sports teams. The good news is that Randy Wittman is out of a job. The bad news is that Kevin McHale is now the leader of this ragged band of malcontents. The good news is McHale is no longer the G.M. or "V.P. of basketball operations" or whatever title they used for the job of the dude in charge of throwing the franchise's future down the drain. The bad news is the trapezoid of idiocy is still intact and in charge of makeing all of the wrong descisions off the court while McHale handles the on-court part.

I think Sam Mitchell or Eddie Jordan would have made for better coaches and an actuall GM would have been nice. I don't know why McHale gets the Isaiah Thomas treatment. Worse yet we didn't even get the satisfaction of public ultimatum like James Dolan gave Thomas. Glen taylor might actually think this is a good idea and not just a way to justify something that the rest of the world thought was already justifiable. McHale should have been out the door with Whittman.

So far McHale has twice replaced a coach with a worse one. For all of our sake I hope he goes 3 for 3 in that particular category. These players need to go 0-62 the rest of the season if they want the ineptitude of this team to end. Al Jefferson needs to study tape of KG's career, but he needs to focus on the stuff that happened off the court and realize the reason(s) why a player so great could only get past the first round once in Minnesota. Losing tonight was a start, Al, but you and your boys have a long way to go if you want to win in the future.

My dream is that Glen Taylor rip out the entire front office (sans secretaries, ect.) and start from scratch. If he wants he can keep Fred Hoiberg as Assistant GM, but only as long as he gets a real GM to come and work for him. We need someone who has a coach in mind (someone who can invent a system in which the players we have play to and beyond their full potential) won't deal with mediocre players under the table, won't constantly draft a better player and imediatly trade them away and someone who actually has a plan for the future that doesn't include sweater shopping and fishing at the top of the list.

Randy Wittman and his career .326 win percentage (which got worse every year he coached) is gone and Kevin McHale has (presumably) lost his decision making power, so the team is moving in the right direction. If they want to get me to think about buying an actual ticket to one of these games they need go all the way and blow up the front office and start from scratch. If they take that last sentance literally I will buy a ticket.

I may write again. I may not. Just couldn't fully wrap my head around this conundrum and needed to put it down somewhere.

So Into the Wild

I found this on Hockey Wilderness last night and thought I'd pass it along what with the draft tonight and the lack of other sports news right now. I'm not so sure how I feel about this, I loved Into The Wild and can see where this satire is coming from but it just off in the hockey department.
Apparently they decided to mispronounce Gaborik's name on purpose but there aren't enough people who know the correct pronunciation for that to be funny... I think they f'ed up after the film was already cut. I also don't know why the dude would be going to Ontario to win a contest with Minnesota's franchise player.

I also despise the Minnesotan accent... yes, Minnesotans have an accent but its never that pronounced unless you've spent your whole life in the sticks.

Milton Bradley... Still Bl@%pin' Crazy!

Oh, Milton..

Texas Rangers Outfielder/Journeyman Milton Bradley is having by far his best season as a pro. It comes as no surprise that that season is happening in Arlington, where the Rangers routinely field a fantastic offense. Coming into today, he leads the American League in Batting Average at .333, while also leading it in On Base Percentage and Slugging Percentage. He is killing the ball. I probably shouldn't say "killing" too loud around Milton, though, because it appears he may have been trying to do that Kansas City TV broadcast announcer Ryan Lefebvre last night during an 11-5 Rangers win in Kansas City. Lefebvre, a former Twins and Gophers broadcaster, is a regular guest on the PA and Dubay Show on KFAN AM 1130, to talk baseball. Here is the story:

KANSAS CITY, Mo. (AP) — Milton Bradley stormed out of the Texas Rangers clubhouse after an 11-5 victory Wednesday night over Kansas City and bounded up four flights of stairs looking for Royals television announcer Ryan Lefebvre.

Bradley, who was the designated hitter, heard what he considered derogative remarks made by Lefebvre on a TV in the Rangers clubhouse.

General manager Jon Daniels and manager Ron Washington were close behind and intercepted Bradley before he reached Lefebvre.

Bradley never reached Lefebvre, although he was within about 20 feet of him in the TV booth before being led back down to the clubhouse.

Upon returning to the clubhouse, Bradley screamed at teammates and broke down in tears.

"I'm tired of people bringing me down," Bradley said. "It wears on you. I love you guys, all you guys. I'm strong, but I'm not that strong. All I want to do is play baseball and make a better life for my kid than I had."

Several of Bradley's teammates consoled him after he calmed down.

Lefebvre, who is the son of former major league manager Jim Lefebvre, said he met with Daniels and Washington about his on-the-air comments, but did not talk to Bradley. Lefebvre said the comments were intended to praise Josh Hamilton, who missed nearly four years of professional baseball with cocaine and alcohol additions, rather than tear down Bradley.

"It was a conversation about how Josh Hamilton has turned his life around and has been accountable for his mistakes," Lefebvre told The Associated Press. "Right now, it seems like the baseball world and fans are rooting for him. ... It doesn't seem like Milton Bradley has done the same thing in his life."

The oft-injured Bradley has a history of losing his temper.

No shit?! To say that Milton has character issues would be like saying Darryl Strawberry liked to occasionally do cocaine. Or saying that Charles Barkley occasionally gambles. Or like saying that Shawn Kemp occasionally has unprotected sex.


One has to wonder what's going on inside Milton's mind. He is so incredibly talented on the field when he can control it and stay healthy. But that has always been a problem. With his baseball ability alone, he would be a perennial all star for years, if he could only settle down. He's an implosion waiting to happen. Milton just needs to work on getting out of Milton's way, and maybe some of those things that can happen, actually will.


On that note, I have to go. I have to lock my door and hide in the corner with a 9 Iron. Just in case Milton happens to see this, I wanna be prepared.

I totally stole this from Freedarko

This is Mike, whom I want to be like. Apparently it's not just Shaq and other 300 pounders who manage to shatter the backboard. I now expect every graceful and dominating shooting guard to break the bucket at least once in their life time. (I'm looking at you Kobe, and eventually you Roy (damn you McHale for trading him for Foye))

Micheal Jordan busted the shit out of this Spanish backboard proir to becoming and invinciBULL. Take note Bracey, the Grecian backboards must be equally as week and therefore your ticket back to the big show.

FreeDarko

Tales From Behind The Bars

It's always unfortunate when sports and prison intertwine. It's also inevitable. Like Big Poppa said, "Mo Money, Mo problems." Today there are two Minnesota sports/jail stories. Both are no surprise, but sad none the less.

Isaiah "J.R." Rider, inventor of the east bay funk dunk and 5th overall pick by the Minnesota Timberwolves in the 1993 draft is once again in jail. This time he is accused of auto theft after being arrested early Saturday morning in the skid row district of Los Angeles. He has since been released on bail to await trial.

Rider has had a history of law trouble that dates back to his college days when he was arrested for throwing a milkshake through the drive-through window of a Jack-in-the-box. During the 95-96 season Rider was convicted of 5th degree assault after kicking the manager of a sports bar. Rider had a few more brushes with the law during his playing years, none worse than possession of Marijuana and possession of an illegal cell phone, but once his career was over the real trouble started. In January of 2006 he was charged with kidnapping and domestic assault. In February of 2007 he plead guilty to felony cocaine possession and evading an officer. In January of this year Rider was charged with unlawful Firearm possession after getting into an argument with a taxi driver.

The other sports related jailing is not about an actual athlete. Souksangouane Phengsene was jailed Sunday night for suspicion of DWI. Most people don't remember that name, let alone have the skill to properly pronounce it, but Phengsene was the man who killed Malik Sealy in 2000 on his way home from Kevin Garnett's birthday party. Souk was drunk that night as well and was charged with criminal vehicular homicide. When he crashed into Sealy Phengsene was driving the wrong way down highway 100.

In 1997 he was charged with drunken driving in Des Moines and again in 2006 in Crystal. Unfortunately, since he plead guilty to vehicular homicide and not DWI in the Sealy crash the 2006 charge was not enhanced. Hopefully the judge will take a good long look at this man's driving record, throw him in jail for a while and rip up his license forever.

Useless Post #257

A man with an extremely vague dream started this blog 257 posts ago. That dream became even more unfocused as he allowed a handful of friends to add their musings. About that time Mr. Bez began keeping track of the visits. In the year since the counter began functioning we've had 45,000 plus visits. I'd say that’s pretty good, but I'd also place the blame on the abundance of traffic squarely on the succulent shoulders of Jessica Alba and Jessica Biel. Unfortunately, these women have fallen out of my favor... not because they are not beautiful, but because Ms. Alba is pregnant and may not be a Ms. for too much longer and because Ms. Biel is dating one Mr. Justin Timberlake. I can't dream if Timberlake is messing with my kool-aid. I can't dream if a lady be growing something inside of her.

The question is, how do we get the unsuspecting public to stumble across SPK? We've seen growth. In fact, I believe that some of you people who stop by during the week and actually looking at our content may not even know me personally. You may not even know Bez personally. I want to know in the comments section if you do exist. Let your typing be read!

Regardless of whether or not this is true I've decided to dump Alba and Biel as the unofficial ladies of Some People's Kids and start all over with two new ones. The first is Megan Fox, goddess of robots movies with tattoos and eyes that will pierce your soul. The second is Rachel Bilson, uber sexy girl next door. I absolutely hate admitting that I watched the O.C. my first two years of college, but I've come to terms with it citing the fact that it was always a coed event. Then I saw Bilson on Chuck before the writers refused to be fleeced by the AMPTP anymore and I fell in love all over again. If we have another month where 16,000 people show up it will be their fault and I will know that I am not the only man who has moved on.

Remember to let us know if you enjoy our site in the comments section. Thank you, that is all.

When the Zombies Begin to Exist

Look, I don't know if you guys are aware of this yet or not, but I'm a little crazy. The other guys will tell you its true. I have a tendency to blow things out of proportion and go a little bit conspiracy theorist. Now is one of those times, and I'll tell you up front that my feelings on this issue are totally, completely 100% true. I don't exactly think this will result in the emergence of actual zombies, but I don't think anything good will come of this.

The FDA has announced that food from cloned animals is safe to eat. I don't like this. Remember how people are not supposed to play god? Yeah, I think eating the ultimate bastard child is going to piss off some sort of supernatural being. (I won't name names because I have not had the pleasure of meeting any such beings) Have they even perfected cloning? Dolly the sheep only lived 6 years when the normal life expectancy is 12-15 years. And the FDA is the same organization that approved Vytorin- The cholesterol drug that has the tiny, insignificant side-effect of CLOGGING YOUR ARTERIES.

Then, on top of all of this crazy bullshit President Bush made a speech backing up the Mayan calender. Their calender inexplicably ends in 2012. An ancient civilization that not only knew that there were 365 days in a year, but knew that there was an extra fraction of a day to be factored in. What exactly did our fearless leader say?

"When history was written the final page will say victory was achieved by the United States of America for the god of the world"

That dumb bastard has already read the history of the world, and according to him We've been close to victory is near. A victory that lands on the final page of history. Wanna know what the last words on that page are? "And then the Zombies came and many brains were eaten. The End."

This cloned meat is somehow going to result in a "mad human disease" I just know it.