Four underachieving overachievers putting a literary smackdown on sports, entertainment and anything else that pinches a nerve or tickles our collective funnybones
I found this on Hockey Wilderness last night and thought I'd pass it along what with the draft tonight and the lack of other sports news right now. I'm not so sure how I feel about this, I loved Into The Wild and can see where this satire is coming from but it just off in the hockey department. Apparently they decided to mispronounce Gaborik's name on purpose but there aren't enough people who know the correct pronunciation for that to be funny... I think they f'ed up after the film was already cut. I also don't know why the dude would be going to Ontario to win a contest with Minnesota's franchise player.
I also despise the Minnesotan accent... yes, Minnesotans have an accent but its never that pronounced unless you've spent your whole life in the sticks.
Booty may not have amazing arm strength, but he's very accurate and a mobile quarterback. He's a definite improvement over Brooks Bollinger and will make preseason more competitive. He'll make a very good second option should the T-Jack experiment go awry. I'm digging the fact that 10 days before being drafted he stated his preference for the Vikings on ESPN.
This is Mike, whom I want to be like. Apparently it's not just Shaq and other 300 pounders who manage to shatter the backboard. I now expect every graceful and dominating shooting guard to break the bucket at least once in their life time. (I'm looking at you Kobe, and eventually you Roy (damn you McHale for trading him for Foye))
Micheal Jordan busted the shit out of this Spanish backboard proir to becoming and invinciBULL. Take note Bracey, the Grecian backboards must be equally as week and therefore your ticket back to the big show.
And its coming back thanks to Pat Croce and the original creators. Spike needs to pick this back up... I'm sure your audience can do with one less hour of "That 70's Show" or "CSI: whatever city you happen to be in."
Slamball gives hope to people my size to happen to not be afraid of trampolines or physical violence on a basketball court. I happen to not be a member of either group, but back in 9th grade before the trampoline/basketball court incident I might have been encouraged to pursue this sport.
Steve Nash is awesome. I'm sure everyone has already seen this commercial and is asking, "whats so special about this?" Well, my friends, besides the fact that Nash is a really good soccer player and rides a skateboard he also directed the commercial himself. It sounds like Nash plans to make films when he retires from basketball. He has set up his own production company to make independent films. The Arizona Republic interviewed a few people in the film world about Nash's commercial.
"The spot is like Steve Nash himself - very spontaneous,"(Chris) Lamont(Phoenix film festival president) said. "Guerrilla-style filmmaking really lends itself to the type of work. There is an improv quality, which is like his play . . . I give it a thumbs up."
I can't wait to see what he does when basketball is no longer his main focus.
Blake Hoffarber must spend entirely too much time in the gym thinking up ridiculous shots to attempt in order to have presence of mind, timing and aim to to make this sort of shot. The shot was amazing and almost an exact duplicate of Christian Laettner's shot against Kentucky in 1992.
That shot allowed Tubby Smith's record of seasons with at least 20 wins to continue for a 15th year. It also kept the gophers dreams of an NCAA birth alive for another day... Unfortunately The Gophers lost today to Illinois and have about a snowball's chance in hell of making it.
This shot along with his Minnesota state tourney shot may have put Hoffarber on the radar for the NBA. The kid is pretty good for a freshman who was not Tubby's recruit and after 3 more years of playing with the guys Tubby convinced to play in Minnesota he just might end up being drafted in the second round or maybe even at the end of the first.
Amazing. Indiana had so many chances to win this game.
In an effort to replace Mewelde Moore the Vikings have signed running back Maurice Hicks to the team. Hicks played for the 49ers last year and will play last resort in the run game and kick returner. Adding him as a kick returner makes me happy... I got pretty sick of watching Bobby Wade call for fair catches.
I'm not sure we'll see much of what we see in the video below considering we're got Purple Jesus running the ball, but its nice to know that he's got moves.
Oh yeah... did I mention that Hicks set the NCAA Division I and II single-game record with 437 rushing yards on 34 carries vs. Morgan State (10-6-01)? That might come in handy if one of our other backs gets a little dinged up during the season.
In related news I'd like ESPN to focus on football players that actually play football. He's gone.
When I fist saw this I figured that he had to have been making the chicken bucket thing up. Never-the-less I did some detective work and sure as shit I found 'em. If for some silly reason you want to own these I've found them for sale on E-bay here. I don't know why, (probably because the All-star game wasn't on yet) but I actually watched the last 10 laps of the Daytona 500. Dale Ernhardt Jr. didn't win and Tony Stewart didn't win and I consider that a loss for everybody because I think those are about the only drivers I recognize.
Here it is Ladies and gentlemen, The Wolves one and only appearance in the All-Star festivities. Gerald Green may not have won the contest, but this was pretty good.
Too bad Big Al won't get to play in the All-Star game tomorrow... pretty sure he got jobbed because our team sucks.
In an attempt to redeem myself for my lousy prophetic skillz I present you with the only commercial I loved from last night. When I was searching the youtubes I learned that this was part of a contest that Dorritos put on. I don't know why that last sentence was written.
I don't even really watch the Jimmy Kimmel show but I love the stuff he does with Matt Damon. In this clip his girlfriend, Sarah Silverman breaks some bad news to Jimmy via one of her catchy songs. Serves you right Mr. Kimmel.
This is the intro to the "Fully Flared" video from Lakai. Mr. Jones didn't really do too much except slow everything down and add some explosions but he does it without becoming Michael Bay. I dig Spike Jones and his love of skateboarding and music videos. I like that the only time he makes feature films they are interesting and artistic. He made Being "John Malkovich" and noe hes working on "Where the Wild Things are." Granted he always shows up in the Jackass movies and TV show, but who wouldn't want to hang out with those guys no matter how lowbrow the comedy is?
I wouldn't mind having his career or life. The same way I want Nate Dogg's career (sans stroke)or Don Cheadle's career. I'd love to work on the projects I wanted to when I wanted to, have a low enough profile where I can go out to dinner and live a normal life, but every once in a while someone comes up to me and says, "Hey man, I really enjoy what you do."
Wachovia, Brinks and The FBI will never live down a robbery for so much money that happened on Pennsylvania Avenue. This is D.B. Cooper type shit!
If this dude ends up in jail he will automatically be made king of the miscreants. They will bow to him and throw cigarettes at his feet. He will have the power to stop and start riots with the snap of his fingers.
He will be carried from place to place by the lesser criminals and they will ask his advice about various acts of villainy. Nasty Nate will give him his cocktail fruit, and squirrel master will gladly run security for the man.
The FBI will probably hire him to think of other innovative ways to rob a bank in order to not be shamed this way in the future.
If only I could get away with something so glorious.
"You know what? I say a lot of racist jokes, and my mouth says a lot of racist things but my penis is a humanitarian."
I found this clip of some new Dave Chappelle stand up on Funnyordie.com and felt the need to share it with the world. I guess his crazy pills have kicked in and he's made his way from Africa to London. Hopefully he'll be touring the U.S. with some new material shortly because he is greatly missed.
This is what I worship every Sunday. There are Six GMs banging their heads against the wall after seeing Adrian Peterson destroy one of the best defenses in the NFL. I can also think of one head coach and one starting quarterback that should bow down and thank Peterson for taking the pressure off and most likely A) prolonging Childress' head coaching career for at least a little while longer and B) allowing Jackson to develop into a starting quarterback while actually playing starting quarterback. Without Peterson, Childress may not have made it past this season with this organization and Jackson would have been given up on when the lack of offense is not entirely his fault. (I haven't even heard anyone say anything about Jackson's 9-23 day or the fact that 60 of his 139 passing yards came on one play)
I know it was only one game and the Vikings could revert to the team that we've had to endure for the last 20+ games but I really don't think that's going to happen. This team might not make the playoffs but I think they'll at least be playing for a chance at the end of the year. Before the season began I figured the team would win 4 games. We may be two and three, but we've outscored the opponent 101-90 and have never lost a game by more than a TD.
I told you... I told you that all the team needs is 24 points to win. They got 34 points. Peterson scored 18 of those by himself (with a couple blocks here and there)and is the only reason Longwell has a new career high. The former Sooner and current Bad Ass had 224 yards on the ground and 128 returning kicks. I still don't like him returning kicks. Don't get me wrong, I loved him returning the last kick and Childress made the right decision but that is the only scenario where Peterson should be returning kicks.
Even the game plan was better this week. The passing game may not have worked so well but we stretched the field early and on more than one occasion, though it only actually worked once (Thanks for finally using that glue I sent you Stonehands). The team also tried play action a couple of times. Its too bad we can't get 200 yards out of Peterson every game to allow the passing game more time get itself together. I'd still like Sidney Rice to get more looks... he only had one catch, but he laid out for it and fortified my feeling that he'll be a great receiver one day. He probably could have gotten more looks if the team made it into the redzone, but when the other team can't make it there either its not so scary to think about.
The defense did a good job for the first three quarters. Outside of Winfield falling down (which sucks, but I'm not about to complain about our best Corner and one of the hardest hitters in the NFL) the Vikings shut the bears down. The fourth quarter was a different story... I think the D hit the locker room as soon as Dwight Smith got his INT and forgot to look at the clock. This includes Smith who got a great view of Devin Hester's second TD of the day. Marcus McCauly missed a sure INT that would have saved me that anxious feeling you get when the Vikings take a game with a lead of 7 or less into its final minutes. I'd also like some more sacks.
I almost forgot... E.J. Henderson is the shit and crushed that fullback to end the half. Now go watch Osi Umenyiora and Michael Strahan rip Joey's limbs off
I couldn't find any video of the game that took place between our Timber Wolves and The Boston Celtics but here is a highlight of the Celtics first game featuring the "Big Three"... individually known as Kevin Garnett, Paul Pierce and Ray Allen.
Ray Allen did most of the scoring (28 Pts). My Favorite Timberwolf (I will continue to call him this regardless of jersey) had 9pts, 6 rebs,2asts, 3 blocks. Ricky Davis was the high scorer for the T-wolves which angers me as he is probably my least favorite player on a team full of players that I don't even know.
The former Celtics did ok; Bassy had 9pts and 3 asts, Ratlif had 6pts and 2 blocks,Gomes had 9pts and 4 rebs, Green had 4 pts and the most interesting piece we got in return had 5 pts, 2 blocks and 6 rebs in the 92-81 loss in London.
Rashad McCants had 11 points and 4 rebounds which hopefully means that his knees are back at 100%. Randy Foye, however, had no points in 8 minutes. Hopefully they just wanted to start figuring out the backup PG position and he isn't injured.
Get ready for a lot of losses this year. Hopefully this team can still put an exciting product on the court.
