Thou Shalt Not Become the First Female President

I was fiddling around on Gawker when I stumbled across this map which combines the tornado touchdowns with the results from super Tuesday.

I have no major problem with Hillary Clinton, but something like this is too good to pass up. I had to share it with all (5) of you. If Obama didn't have momentum coming out of Tuesday already he may have just scored the prized religious democrat vote.
(Thanks to Richard Blakeley for having the presence of mind to combine the two images)

Puffy Threatened My Life

... So I went to the caucus. I voted for Pedro.

Doritos - Mouse Trap

In an attempt to redeem myself for my lousy prophetic skillz I present you with the only commercial I loved from last night. When I was searching the youtubes I learned that this was part of a contest that Dorritos put on. I don't know why that last sentence was written.

I will be Drinking Samuel Adams Boston Lager

In commemoration of the Patriots eventual victory on the field of battle. A month from now I will drink Rheingold beer when Arlen Specter strips the Patriots of their last couple of Superbowls. Pats win 31-28 when Adam Vinatieri Stephen Gostkowski kicks a last second field goal. Lawrence Maroney wins MVP, not by actually being chosen but by snatching it from Tom Brady’s hands during the post game ceremony and stiff-arming every mutha fucka that tries to take it back. U begul shitting Uself if U think he’s giving that thing back.

He celebrates the victory with Kool-aid and Construda.

After the game Eli Manning is consoled by his mother while Peyton points and laughs, Michael Strahan calls Jean and tells her he is going to be a little late with the alimony.

Sarah Silverman is Banging Matt Damon

I don't even really watch the Jimmy Kimmel show but I love the stuff he does with Matt Damon. In this clip his girlfriend, Sarah Silverman breaks some bad news to Jimmy via one of her catchy songs. Serves you right Mr. Kimmel.

Exhale

The Mets and Johan saved a disaster today coming to terms on a 6 year extension.

That doesn’t include the $13.25 million Santana is set to make in 2008. We also heard there is a vesting option, but the details were unclear.

The Mets agreed to give Johan Santana a six-year, $137.5 million contract extension today an industry source just told the Star Tribune.

I would have been terrible if this didn't get done. I'll add more later, but it's a friday night so i'm going somewhere else now.

Around the Majors.

Useless Post #257

A man with an extremely vague dream started this blog 257 posts ago. That dream became even more unfocused as he allowed a handful of friends to add their musings. About that time Mr. Bez began keeping track of the visits. In the year since the counter began functioning we've had 45,000 plus visits. I'd say that’s pretty good, but I'd also place the blame on the abundance of traffic squarely on the succulent shoulders of Jessica Alba and Jessica Biel. Unfortunately, these women have fallen out of my favor... not because they are not beautiful, but because Ms. Alba is pregnant and may not be a Ms. for too much longer and because Ms. Biel is dating one Mr. Justin Timberlake. I can't dream if Timberlake is messing with my kool-aid. I can't dream if a lady be growing something inside of her.

The question is, how do we get the unsuspecting public to stumble across SPK? We've seen growth. In fact, I believe that some of you people who stop by during the week and actually looking at our content may not even know me personally. You may not even know Bez personally. I want to know in the comments section if you do exist. Let your typing be read!

Regardless of whether or not this is true I've decided to dump Alba and Biel as the unofficial ladies of Some People's Kids and start all over with two new ones. The first is Megan Fox, goddess of robots movies with tattoos and eyes that will pierce your soul. The second is Rachel Bilson, uber sexy girl next door. I absolutely hate admitting that I watched the O.C. my first two years of college, but I've come to terms with it citing the fact that it was always a coed event. Then I saw Bilson on Chuck before the writers refused to be fleeced by the AMPTP anymore and I fell in love all over again. If we have another month where 16,000 people show up it will be their fault and I will know that I am not the only man who has moved on.

Remember to let us know if you enjoy our site in the comments section. Thank you, that is all.