Some People's Kids: In Theaters Tomorrow…

Thursday, May 10, 2007

In Theaters Tomorrow…

There are a handful of films making their debut in the post-spidey wake. Lindsay Lohan sobers up long enough to star in GEORGIA RULE. Zach Braff and Jason Bateman yuk it up in THE EX. Larry the cable guy sucks it up in DELTA FARCE. Ms. Biel is back in film form with 50 Cent and Samuel L. Jackson. 28 WEEKS LATER is the most notable film coming out this week and the film that I am most excited about.

28 WEEKS LATER picks up back in London about 6 months after the rage virus first appeared. The U.S. army has declared the war against the virus over and begins to repopulate England. Declaring a war over just prior to the second wave of attacks sounds vaguely familiar to me. None of the surviving cast members return, but an island full of Zombies is all I really need. Danny Boyle, the director of the first film is back, but this time he tries his hand a producer. From What I’ve read its and extremely well shot film and rivals if not trumps its predecessor.

GEORGIA RULES is a story about three generations of women in one family. Lindsay Lohan plays the rebellious young daughter of that chick from Desperate Housewives. In perfect casting Lohan’s character drinks, swears, crashes cars and gives BJs to the local boys. The girl is carted off to Idaho in search of Napoleon Dynamite and structure; which will be given to her by Jane Fonda on and off set. I have no clue why the film is rated R, which I find intriguing.

So here is the deal with THE EX; I love Scrubs and I love Arrested Development even more, and that will not save this film from the crap bucket and a quick retreat to the dollar theater according to a handful reviews. I’m not a big fan of Amanda Peet, but I like Amy Poehler and there are a handful of other bit players worth their salary. Basically Braff plays a slacker who is forced to get a job when his wife (Peet) has a child. Braff works for his father-in-law where Peet’s ex- is the office star. This is every romantic comedy that you’ve ever seen and as I’ve said before the cast can’t always carry a film… I’ll rent it.

DELTA FARCE is crap filled crap rolled in crap with a sprinkle of crap on top. Larry the Cable Guy, DJ Qualls (ROAD TRIP) and fellow honkey comedian Bill Engvall disgrace our soldiers by invading Mexico by accident. If someone can get close enough to the cable guy while he is drinking I’d enjoy it if you could slip some bleach into his drink. Now dat dere is funny, I don’t care who you are.

50 Cent, Sam Jackson and Jessica Biel try to put an Iraq twist on THE BEST YEARS OF OUR LIVES in HOME OF THE BRAVE. They fail. 50 Cent? The film is about the hardships of returning from the war. The film is not patriotic, heartfelt or enlightening according to the reviews and that makes it the last film about the war you should ever see. It sounds like this film should have been straight to DVD, but they spent too much on the actors.

BOX office should look like this #1. SPIDERMAN 3 #2 28 WEEKS LATER #3 GEORGIA RULE #4 DISTURBIA #5 THE EX

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