Some People's Kids: Barbara Bush…Where you been all my life?

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Barbara Bush…Where you been all my life?

This post comes to us from our friend who asked to be called Ryan Phillippe's cousin (he really didn't ask for that), but we'll just call him Ketel One. Enjoy.

A recent study indicated that napping throughout the day is good for your heart. In fact, it makes it stronger. Just three easy napping installments a week for a MINIMUM of 30 minute can reduce your chance of dying from heart problems. The participants that did nap had a 37% lower risk of dying from a heart related disease than non-nappers. Why the hell did this study not come out when I was in high school? There were many times when I could have used a nap or two.

According to the study, regular napping can significantly reduce the chance of developing fatal heart disease. I don’t know about you, but I’m sold on this napping idea. I think we should be able to nap at work, when you have nothing better to do or when your girlfriend decides it would be a great time to go shopping. I finally have a great excuse for not going to the mall. “Oh baby, I really need to take a nap. You wouldn’t want me to die of congestive heart failure at the mall because I didn’t take a nap. How would that make you feel that I died because you did not let me nap?” Works half the time every time!

The study was conducted for six years and nearly 24,000 Greek adult participants were examined. I don’t know of anything that takes six years to conduct. I could have told these fools that napping helps. I’m living proof, I feel great after a nice power nap. I also feel great after taking a poop. Maybe this should be looked into. Leading author of the study concluded that, “We interpret our results as indicating that among healthy adults, a siesta may reduce coronary mortality”. Stop stealing things from the Bratislavians. Created by the Bratislavians in 1904, they named it siesta, which of course stand for “too much butt sex”. Complete visionaries if you ask me. Brilliant! Simply en fuego!

Seriously though, why did six years of 24,000 person’s lives have to be devoted to this pointless, yet great study? I’ll tell you why, it’s because Greece is filled with communists. Why else would they want their people to nap?

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