Some People's Kids: Antoino Gates ain’t got S**t in the Vikes new Signee

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

Antoino Gates ain’t got S**t in the Vikes new Signee

And when I say that I mean former basketball turned wide receiver. I cannot wait to run out and buy my Todd Lowber Jersey! The former track and basketball star weighs in at 205 and stands 6-3 while running 4.3 in the 40-yard dash. The problem is that I’m 5-6 and 160 soaking wet, but am as accomplished as him on the football field… oh and his mentor will be Troy “Hands” Williamson. F@#k it… lets take a punter with the 7th pick this year!

We signed this dude to a 3-year contract! Is there no such thing as a training camp contract? The Twins got Ponson on a Minor league contract; a dude with no experience should not be able to ink a 3-year deal like this. His agent said that there were other teams interested in Lowber, but he’d say that he were the emperor of China if it helped get this contract. Lowber played all 4 season of basketball at Ramapo College and won the D3 men’s high jump in ’06. Mr. Lowber averaged 12.4 pts and 5.2 rebs in his final college season. I watched Devon George play at Augsburg before he went to the NBA- a DIII player with “freakish talent” should average more than that on the court.

The Vikes are going to need a bucket of glue a la THE REPLACEMENTS if they want to pass the ball at all this season. I’m not so sure they’ll even attempt a pass after watching Chili’s “kick ass” offense tear up the field last year. It would be great if this worked out some how, but we are the Minnesota Vikings. I’m almost used to this sort of thing… at least they got a lot of valuable players when they got rid of Moss and Culpepper, right? Right?

My hopes for a 6-win season just got shot to shit. Thank you, oh wise ones for bestowing upon us such a great talent. We are blessed

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