Belated Baseball

Neubie, Bez, Bits and I went to the game on Friday and something should have been posted yesterday, but I’m guessing most of us spent the day hung over and/or asleep. The day started early because Bits wanted to buy a jersey at the mall, and he is my chauffeur when I need to get to the city. After about three hours and some crazy good Chinese food we left the mall with a belt, some shorts and a silly-ass hat. Bits’ ladyfriend talked him out of the jersey and argued that the money would be better spent on her. I tried to explain the importance of owning a jersey to her, but to no avail. In fact it was I who almost left the mall with a Twins jersey- I found a Shannon Stewart one for $20 and I’m the type of asshole who shows up to a game with the wrong player on my back.

We hit up a bar before going to the game only to discover that there was no happy hour, which made us a bit unhappy. Bits, another friend and I sat in decent seats out in center field. Bez has season tickets so he sat in a different section. Neubie was just getting off work when the game started, so he was forced to iron his shirt on the light rail. Before the game got underway Morneau received his MVP award and I found out that Killebrew is the only American to have won the MVP in a Twins uni. I also found out that chicks from nowhere, South Dakota wear about an inch of make-up to a baseball game, I bet that dude tried to gnaw his arm off when he woke up yesterday.

Johan looked great in the first inning when he threw all of 4 pitches, but after that he looked a little shaky. Everybody knows that April is usually his worst month, and he is the best pitcher in baseball so there is nothing to worry about. I’m beginning to think that Akinori Iwamora is a damn good baseball player. That 5^th inning sucked balls and Crawford’s 6^th inning in the park home run came about 10 minutes after Bez nominated Josh Rabe for player of the game because he hates Kubel.

Not having the old guys in the line-up and no batting from the piranhas has hurt the Twins so far this year… oh course Bartlet did manage to get a hit yesterday and one in the game that we went to. We also caught Anthony Lapanta roaming through the section next to ours and stealing people’s signs, probably for “Circle me Bert.” Morneau’s blast went for a mile but it was futile. It sucked to watch Johan’s home win streak end but like he said he’ll just start a new one.

After the game we went out to catch the rest of the Wild game. A good number of people who sit in Bez’ section came with us. Eventually we left and Bez’ shoe broke, I danced with a lady, and Bits couldn’t get “a goddamn ham sandwich with cheese and alfalfa sprouts!” – no matter how many Jimmy Johns I tried calling.

Alfalfa sprouts??